I don't DO jealous, to me it's a wasted emotion. People have stuff I don't have, so what? I do a little light envy from time to time and think how nice it must be to have the big shiny car, the en suite bathroom, the holidays to exotic places but you know what? My life is pretty damned good these days. I have everything I need with a good does of laughter and love thrown in on a daily basis so no, I'm not jealous because I'm happy being me.
I had a great weekend. Time with friends, great food, far too much champagne and lots of laughs but I missed home. I missed Miss Mac and I missed SD.
They had a great time though. One of the things I love most about SD is the huge effort he makes with my daughter. They have spent the last few months sounding each other out. Miss Mac took a while to get used to having someone around, having to share my attention, having someone else as a part of our conversations.
She resisted a little for a while which is understandable but gradually SD's unfailing kindness, his humour and thoughtfulness and his endless patience began to win her over and now nothing makes me happier than to see them talking and laughing together.
Ok, SD still struggles with the fact that she is a typically messy teenager and Miss Mac struggles with his ever so slightly OCD tendencies to organise everything to the nth degree (but then hey, so do I! ) but, our little post nuclear pod is a happy place.
So anyway, back to me!!! ;)
Saturday night Miss Mac had plans and so SD arranged to meet up with some friends to see a band.
We've seen this band together a few times and wow, they are phenomenally good! I mean seriously up there in a class of their own. The drummer (who look about 12) is just outstanding. Mostly you tend not to notice drummers in a band, all the focus is usually on the lead singer or lead guitar but he is so vibrant, so full of energy and so bloody good that I find I cant take my eyes off him (I may have a slightly embarrassing case of drummer lust here ....).
Anyway, yesterday one of SD's friends sent me a clip of SD dancing away to the music that he'd videoed on his phone.
SD gets totally into the grove when he's dancing and right in the middle of the clip he does this cute little bum wiggle which had me rolling on the floor laughing my (stolen) socks off, I watched it over and over and it amused me every time but then I started to feel something different and I couldn't quite work out what it was.
This band have a following as many do so you tend to see the same people time and time again. There are a couple of girls we always see at their gigs and SD named them the size 6's because they are tiny! I mean super tiny!! Not skinny exactly, just minuscule in a Barbie doll kind of way. The kind of way that makes me, at 6ft tall, feel like a lumbering carthorse in comparison.
So, I'm watching this clip and I noticed one of the size 6's sidle up behind SD and start dancing, she then moved to the side of him and then in front of him. SD moved to give her some room and she carried on dancing in front of him, facing him, dancing WITH him!
Hmmmm, at this point I went off to bake some cakes and dissect how that made me feel.
Here they are:
|I think it's fairly clear how I was feeling ;)|
The unobservant onlooker probably wouldn't have noticed anything but I've watched that clip enough times now and it's pretty clear.
By process of elimination I decided that I might just be feeling jealous!
Not because I was worried in any way that SD would do anything he shouldn't and, to be honest, if I had thought that then he clearly wouldn't be the man for me. It was the way she didn't take her eyes off him. She had her back to the band and that's just something you don't do when you re out listening to live music.
She was coming on to my man!
And I wasn't there!!
And she knew that he was my man!!!
Bitch - flirt away when I'm there, I'm fine with that but when I'm not ....
I'm not going to say that SD was unaware of it, I'm sure he wasn't, he was probably flattered, she's a pretty girl. People flirt, I flirt, he flirts, we ALL do it from time to time often unconsciously and that's fine but she's rattled my chain just a little and I will hunt her down and force feed her cake if I ever catch her doing that again behind my back!
obviously I haven't mentioned any of this to SD, wouldn't want him getting big headed now ;)