tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1803854391640222787.post16501918655920771..comments2023-06-10T12:33:38.632+01:00Comments on PEOPLE DON'T EAT ENOUGH FUDGE: The Importance Of NOT Being EarnestSarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04402703967636964187noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1803854391640222787.post-73767882322108585342017-03-16T13:26:18.224+00:002017-03-16T13:26:18.224+00:00Gosh Sarah - what a neighbour! You're so right...Gosh Sarah - what a neighbour! You're so right to stand your ground and as others have said, perhaps Social Services need to be involved. Please you managed to speak to her daughter and that things are now clearer. <br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />Di xxDihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06153667791623954306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1803854391640222787.post-34817676261080022642017-03-13T10:14:27.792+00:002017-03-13T10:14:27.792+00:00Thanks all for your comments and advice. It's...Thanks all for your comments and advice. It's a tough one. I don't want to be unkind despite my personal feelings but I also don't want her to become dependant on me. Clearly this is what she wants though. When I said her daughter had told me she would arrange for shopping to be delivered she said she didn't want that and that I could get her shopping for her. I held firm though and said this wasn't a practical solution. I do have sympathy for her, she is clearly lonely even if she has put herself in this situation to an extent. She is manipulative and very happy to put others under pressure to do things for her but I will continue to do what I feel is reasonable without going beyond that which I feel is acceptable. Fortunately she took herself off somewhere for the weekend so she is not quite as helpless as she suggests. I will play it by ear and see how it goes.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04402703967636964187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1803854391640222787.post-24669180521817937172017-03-11T00:53:43.702+00:002017-03-11T00:53:43.702+00:00Tough one, Sarah. You are being wonderful. Some go...Tough one, Sarah. You are being wonderful. Some good comments and advice above. I like to think that every life is important - and it is - that everyone has hopes and dream - and they do. But there are also people in the world who are shits, and they will not change. We have a neighbour who is the most awkward neighbour I have EVER had. We were warned about her. We went out of our way to be normal and friendly. She simply causes no end of trouble. It takes a lot for me to give up on a person; our neighbour is of an age when we should be looking out for her; but I'm afraid I have given up. Sometimes you have to; people have free will, they aren't all victims.Mike@Bit About Britainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08741370413282813229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1803854391640222787.post-25374110467246030472017-03-10T19:30:58.131+00:002017-03-10T19:30:58.131+00:00I think you’re doing the right thing Sarah, stick ...I think you’re doing the right thing Sarah, stick to your guns and don’t get drawn in. Many years ago I used to do small amounts of shopping for a lovely couple next door but one. When the husband died myself and another neighbour agreed to be keyholders for the Mrs, she had developed diabetes and sometimes needed help. There then followed a few requests for help at all times of the night and day and she was getting increasingly anxious and a tad ungrateful. The other neighbour then stopped answering the phone at night time. My help ended when, early one Sunday morning, I think it was about 4am, social services rang asking for my help, I went round and tried to calm her, she was confused about what medication she had taken, the doctor had been called but it would be some time before he arrived. Very little sleep, 4 hours of this woman complaining about everything and then finding out that she had a daughter living just 12 miles away sent me over the top, I found her daughter’s number, told her that I was leaving, she sent her son and I handed him the spare key. I like to be kind and helpful, but I don't get involved.Pollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10502031456581056874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1803854391640222787.post-35439572786376931932017-03-10T16:45:20.547+00:002017-03-10T16:45:20.547+00:00You are a good and kind soul Sarah, and have done ...You are a good and kind soul Sarah, and have done as much, if not more than most in your situation, but everyone has their limits. Looks like you've done the sensible thing and helped her as much as you are able to and ascertained the situation from her daughter which will enable you to draw the necessary line.<br /><br />Lets be clear . . . the woman is NOT your responsibility and you do not need to become burdened with her. Your family commitments certainly come first. It's not your fault she's alienated other friends and her daughter. You reap what you sow!<br /><br />Like Jane says, Social Services could be a good solution if necessary. GOOD LUCK.<br /><br />Hugs, Sarn xxxSarnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12174058971522723860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1803854391640222787.post-35243538203591667322017-03-10T16:42:43.894+00:002017-03-10T16:42:43.894+00:00For what it's worth - and that's not much!...For what it's worth - and that's not much! - I think you are taking exactly the right line, Sarah. More power to your elbow, girl!Brighton Pensionerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13370054497955792775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1803854391640222787.post-82439518904839748452017-03-10T15:25:33.641+00:002017-03-10T15:25:33.641+00:00I feel better having spoken to her daughter Val. ...I feel better having spoken to her daughter Val. I now know the threat to kill herself is unfounded so I won't worry about that too much. I don't really know how much help she does need but it's not doing me any harm to pick up a prescription or change a battery in an alarm. As long as the calls are restricted to a genuine need for help in those areas then I'm ok with it. Anything beyond that and it will have to involve outside agencies. Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04402703967636964187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1803854391640222787.post-58690033211549741962017-03-10T14:47:54.621+00:002017-03-10T14:47:54.621+00:00I think you are doing more than most people to hel...I think you are doing more than most people to help your neighbor. It sounds like you have things under control, drawing the line, yet making an effort to get her help (that she may or may not actually need).Valhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13025832536749983018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1803854391640222787.post-12484740764283171812017-03-10T10:57:20.067+00:002017-03-10T10:57:20.067+00:00Thank you Jane, it helped to write it out. I still...Thank you Jane, it helped to write it out. I still haven't heard from her daughter but my neighbour phoned me this morning to say she had gone to spend the night with another friend as she couldn't be in the house on her own. As far as I know she will be back later today. There's a part of me that feels terrible for not wanting this responsibility but there is also a part of me that feels she plays on this. I will try her daughter again later and make it clear that I'm not judging her (I wonder if she feels I am although I only said I had concerns and could she ring me). I will continue to help without going beyond the limits that I'm comfortable with but another solution has to be found and fairly soon. I have no idea if she really means it when she says she wants to die or if she might act on it and I can't live like that. Hopefully, if she feels she has some support her daughter and I can work something out. Thank you for your kind comment.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04402703967636964187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1803854391640222787.post-24840896004181726092017-03-10T10:07:32.366+00:002017-03-10T10:07:32.366+00:00What a horrible situation she has put you in. I th...What a horrible situation she has put you in. I think you should get in touch with Social Services, it sounds to me as if she really needs professional help and support. She's obviously doing something to upset people if even her own daughter has cut her off. <br />JaneJane Willishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01380462044989718673noreply@blogger.com