We've been having some beautiful weather here in the UK and I've been lucky enough to be able to take full advantage of it.
There have been trips to the beach, walks along the canal, lazing in the garden watching my washing blowing in the breeze and time spent with the people I love the most.
Yesterday ... yesterday was a halcyon day. Nothing jarred, nothing hurt, nothing made me feel 'if only', 'I wish', 'I miss' ...
Everything was there, all the elements came together, all the ingredients that combine to make my happiness drifted through the day in a shimmering haze of heat.
I know, I know, this is all a little poetical for me ;-) Normally this kind of stuff is reserved for my fiction but I haven't been writing much of that lately, maybe I should ...
Today I woke up and that feeling is still there.
I'm not longing for yesterday, I'm just glad for it's existence. I feel peaceful, happy, content.
Of course my life isn't perfect, yes there are things I'd like to change. Somethings I can, some I can't ... Somethings may always be beyond my grasp and somethings I may have lost forever but the time for dwelling on that is past and I'm grateful, I'm happy for what I do have. For the people who are in my life because they chose to be.
Because for them I am part of the happiness process.
Do you think I may have had a little bit too much sun? ;-)
Ha ha, well, that's entirely possible so I'm going to stop waxing lyrical here and tell you about yesterday.
I met a friend for lunch, someone I love very much. Someone who is very important to me and who I hope will always be in my life.
Someone I nearly lost just over a year ago.
You may remember this post. I wrote it on a very dark day. A day when I couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. That darkness stayed with me for a very long time, casting it's shadow over my life, pulling me into the darkness at every turn.
It's lifted, it's softened, it's dissipated but not quite dispersed. I think it will always be there as a gentle reminder of the way things were, the way things could have been BUT!
It's ok, it really is. We find new ways. You cannot maintain that level of unhappiness and despair without destroying yourself and I am NOT destroyed.
My bruises have faded, my wounds have healed.
The faint silvery lines of the scars remain and I'll always carry them and I'm glad of that, I'm glad of the reminder, it's a part of me.
God, I'm doing it again aren't I? this isn't the way this post was supposed to go, I'm supposed to be telling you bout my perfect day dammit!
Ok, well, it WAS perfect.
I met my friend, I took all the good things from that meeting. Things have changed but things remain the same. I walked away happy for the friendship we still have and not sad for the friendship we had lost. I still love my friend and you know what, I think they may still love me too so maybe the only thing we really 'lost' were the 'what if's' the 'maybe's' and who knows if they would ever have brought us what we need.
And so, to the rest of my perfect day.
SD, as I've mentioned before, is a teacher. The really good thing about that is that he now has a whole 6 weeks off for the Summer and the even better thing is that he chooses to spend much of that time with me and, (yep, it gets better!) we love to do the same things.
Got to be the beach hasn't it ... ;-)
Yesterday afternoon we went to Hive. A beautiful little beach a few coves around the coastline from Lyme Regis. It's made up of tiny pebbles rather than sand and it's tucked away from the main road which means it doesn't tend to get quite so busy as some of the other beaches.
It's beautiful, look!
Umm, yes, dead fish ;-) They had been washes up in a row along part of the beach - not sure this photo shows quite have pretty they were. |
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endless expanses of sea, cliffs and empty beach |
slightly windswept but yes, it was actually warm enough to swim! |
Lots of dressing up, mostly men dressed as women but there were a few cavemen, etc
Like I said, mostly they sank! |
chappie on the far right made a very improper suggestion as to what I might like to give him in return for a photo (I THINK he was joking ;) |
A truly perfect day.
More madness, less maudlin' coming very soon ;-)
1 comment:
Yay for sunshine, right? It's been raining here in QLD but the sun has come out in the last few days and we've been hitting the beach though it's the middle of winter.
Love the raft races. I remember when I lived in Darwin they used to have these. Lots of drunk people in costumes on dodgy rafts. Hilarious.
Oh and looking good in your bikini Sarah!
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