A Shitty Ditty

Oh god, excuse the title but once it was in my head there was NO shifting it!

On the plus side, at least I'm blogging again ;).

I thought it was time to lighten the mood a little and what better way than with a little poetry:


The wheels fell off my Vax today
It's really the last fecking straw
I kicked it's blue arse out of the way
And for good measure slammed the door

My washing machine exploded you know
With a great big fecking BOOM!
You should have heard my wail of woe
As the stench of burning filled the room

My dishwasher made a chirruping sound
But nothing seemed really awry
Until something flew out (it was small and round)
And almost took out my eye!

My steamer's bust (although there's still steam)
It's just nothings ever cooked
It's like my appliances are on the same team
As they laugh at me - 'YOU'RE FOOKED'!

*and don't even get me STARTED on the affect I have on cars ;)