SD Is TOTALLY Useless

At Birthdays!!

Well, technically only his own, he does pretty well when it comes to mine and other peoples but he would rather just let his own pass by without a mention.

Like that's ever going to happen with me around!

I woke him up this morning crooning in his ear:

'Happy Birthday tew yew - Happy Biiiiirthday TEEEEW YEEEEW - Hap ...'

'Be quite fool' (he said in his best Mr T voice) -' I don't have time for your nonsense in the mornings!'

I was completely deflated until I remembered that downstairs there were PRESENTS!!

SD faffed around doing boring morning stuff like having a shower, making sure he had his stuff for work, getting dressed.  The kind of stuff you can do ANY day whereas you only get to have a birthday once a year!

While he was in the shower I pulled out the presents I'd wrapped last night before hiding them in the cupboard under the stairs because I'm fairly sure that even people who PRETEND not to be bothered about Birthdays secretly go poking around looking for presents don't they ...?

I couldn't find one of his presents anywhere.  I remembered wrapping it last night in this really cool Route 66 paper I'd found.  SD always seems more enamoured of the wrapping paper I find than the actual presents.  Next year I might just buy him a roll of the stuff and wrap it in brown paper or something ...

Anyway, I'd hunted down a copy of the film Solomon Kane for him which he'd been wanting to see for a while but it had disappeared!  Couldn't find it anywhere!  So I put the others on the table ready for him to open

After lots of huffing and grumbling that he didn't have time and would be just as happy to do presents after work (seriously???) SD eventually gave into the pressure and opened his presents but I was still completely bemused by the disappearance of that DVD until:

Miss Mac and friends have been raising money for the Prom again.  This week they are selling ice pops which is going really well given the unseasonably hot weather we have been having.

She came home with 4 boxes last night which involved some re-arranging of my freezer to fit them in.

Just before she left for school I got them out for her and, nestled in between last years blackberry and apple and 500g of mince was SD's loving wrapped DVD ...

I said nothing!  He already thinks I'm a fool! he doesn't need to know about my home grown attempt at cryogenics ...

I wonder if DVDs still play after they are thawed ...

SD also called me pretentious the other day.

WHO MOI???

How VERY dare he ...

I actually can't remember why but I suspect it might have been something to do with Chinoiserie ...

Anyway, SPOONERISMS!!

Remember that post when I told you about a film SD was telling me about.  He was convinced I watched it with him and he went through the plot in great detail finishing up with:

'You MUST remember THAT one, it's the one where they escape on speedgoats with buns!

Or when I accidentally called someone Garden Porker instead of Gordon Parker ...

Well, SD did it again this weekend.

It's been a hell of a week or so for Birthdays.  In fact, we've had a birthday almost every day for the last 10 days.  We spent Friday night at a BBQ with friends and then just the two of us spent a lovely day at West Bay sitting in the sun drinking coffee and eating cake, admiring the bikes on the sea front and reading our respective books.

We were a little late back and rushing to get ready for the evening when we were meeting more friends for more Birthday celebrations and the phone rang.  It was Mark wanting to know where we were.

SD said he was ready and was just waiting for me or, to be more precise he said:

'I'm ready but Hairers just sorting out her stare ...'

When we got home from the pub a little the worse for wear Miss Mac had already gone to bed leaving mayhem behind her as she often does.

All over the coffee table were little bit of waxed paper from plasters.

Obviously I assumed the worst and pictured scenes of carnage until SD pointed out the absence of blood all over the carpet.

But what the hell else could she have been doing with all those plasters I wondered?

SD's suggestion ranged from an attempt at home waxing her eyebrows, upper lip or even a full Brazilian (not unreasonable when you consider that she has been known to use masking tape to created the perfect flick with eyeliner ...).

In his opinion you just assume that everything she does is gross and then anything better is a bonus!

I needed to know!

I turns out that she has formed the conviction that two of her toes are crooked (they aren't!) and was using the plasters to try to straighten them so not gross at all, just a little weird ...

Hey, have you got a famous doppelganger???

SD has!!

Look at this guy.

And then look at THIS one!

The first one is Henry Cole the CEO of Gladstone Motorcycles and a TV presenter. The second one is SD.

I'm gobsmacked at how similar they are both in looks and personality.

Henry Cole is entertaining, doesn't take himself too seriously and knows his stuff when it comes to bikes.

SO like SD apart from the voice which is actually a little disconcerting as apart from that they could almost be the same person.

I wonder if I'VE got a doppelganger out there somewhere ...