fudge

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

The Winner

Write On Wednesdays


I was really please to stumble across Write on Wednesday  at Ink, Paper, Pen.   

So many times I’ve revisited posts that I’ve written and thought of all the things I’ve left out . So, and I hope it is considered in the spirit of things, I’ve taken an extract from an earlier post Slightly Singed (part two)   and expanded it to set the scene a little more clearly.

This weeks Write on Wednesday’s theme is: “Detective Dialogue: For this exercise you need to be a little bit sneaky. And brave. You need to be around at least 2 other people (or a small child who will happily chat to himself and/or imaginary friends). Write down a conversation/dialogue exchange as you hear it.”

So, here is my contribution:

I rested my book in the sand and lay back on the rug. My face upturned to the clear blue sky, one hand shading my eyes against the glare of the sun.

The warmth soaked into my bones, my whole body began to relax.

Gradually I filtered out the sounds one by one. Gulls screeching over head. The distant sounds of the funfair. A mother scolding her child. The faint jingle of the donkeys harness as they slowly plodded up and down the seafront.

Switching off the babble and hubbub of the seaside, retreating into a world filled with only the heat of the sun and the tang of salt in the air.

’Clever Trevor’s going to win’. ‘No, Drop Dead Gary will get there first!’ The high pitched voices of two Brummie lads pierced my consciousness and piqued my curiosity.

I opened one eye. One dark haired, one curly and fair, both kneeling in the sand. 

Damp sand encrusted bottoms in the air, faces peering intently at something I couldn’t see. I rolled over and put my sunglasses on. Now I could observe without being seen.

‘Come on Clever Trevor’.

‘You can do it Drop Dead Garry’.

‘I can see him, look, he’s almost dug his way out.  I was right! Clever Trevor got there first. I’m the winner. I’m the king of the castle, you’re the dirty rascal’.

Then he leant forward and picked up something I still couldn’t see.

Holding out his hand, the sand trickling from between his fingers he shouted joyfully. ‘Fly away Clever Trevor, go back to your family, I’ll always remember you’.

And, with a whir of wings, the ladybird took flight and disappeared.

15 comments:

Janelle said...

I think random ramblings of nearby strangers sound even funnier read than heard! That's very cute. Especially that the child will never forget Clever Trevor. What a clever ladybug indeed!

Sarah Mac said...

A very lucky ladybug too Janelle. Drop Dead Trevor seemed to emerge unharmed too. I love to hear the snippets of other peoples conversations and to try to imagine what went before and what's to come.

InkPaperPen said...

This is gorgeous. I was taken by surprise at the end. I am not sure what I was expecting but it was not ladybirds! Clever Trevor is possibly the best ladybird name I have ever heard and I think the last line of this post is beautiful. And oh yes, this IS in the spirit of Write On Wednesdays, I love to see everyone's individual response to the exercises. Very pleased to have you joining up and look forward to reading more from you. I'm off to check out your Slightly Singed post now. Gill xo

Sarah Mac said...

Thank you Gill. I'm so glad you like it. Great names aren't they. I hope you enjoy slightly singed (there is a part one too;) x

Lene said...

I love how this ended. You had me in suspense the whole way through until right at the end and then that last line...beautiful!

Sarah Mac said...

Thank you Lene. It's always such a huge boost when someone enjoys something I've written.

therhythmmethod said...

This is wonderful, and surprising. I assumed the lads were drunked, shirtless tourists, but the ending was a complete treat for me! Love it.

therhythmmethod said...

I meant drunk ...

Sarah Mac said...

Thank you, it really was a treat for me too. Being in the right place at the right time and happening to tune in at the right moment.

Kim H said...

I was thinking they were crabs! Love the ladybird twist:) Love teh way you've written this. It could be the scene from a book...Gill was onto something with this exercise.

Lovely to visit:)

Sarah Mac said...

Thank you Kim. I loved the chance to really think about what I was writing. it's not my usual sort of ramble, I'm looking forward to next week already.

Car said...

Tis is a great little story! I had assumed they were crabs too until the surprise ending!

I have to know though... Whatever happened to dead gary?

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks Car. Gary was fine to although he didn't get the hero's send off that Trevor did!

E. said...

Like Kim and Car, I also thought Trevor and Gary were crabs.

I really enjoyed reading it.

Sarah Mac said...

Thank you E, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I don't think I even thought about what they might have been talking about at the time, I was too intrigued by the conversation but if I had, I'd probably have thought it was crabs too.