You Know You're A Domestic Slut When ...
Well, I'm just about recovered from my sopfest of the other day (not that I didn't mean every word of it because I did!) and there may be more of the same to come very soon.
I was casting around for something to write about which is never a good thing. If it doesn't come organically then it's probably not worth me trying to write it.
Anyway, while I thought about it I decided to do a little cleaning ....
JOKING!
I decided to do some baking and make more mess!!
I set out all the stuff to make banana cake. Why in gods name I make banana cake I don't know. I don't really like it much and neither does Miss Mac. SD likes it but he isn't a big cake eater (I know, still can't get my head round that either!) so I end up giving most of it away
So I decided to make banana flapjacks instead. Can you believe that in my entire life I've never EVER made flapjacks? Possibly it's because I don't much like flapjacks either ....
Possibly I was inspired by NS's post on cookery books to try something different. Not that I actually USED a cook book in the making of said flapjack you understand, I just chucked a load of butter and golden syrup in a saucepan and left it to melt while I checked out the cupboards for other stuff to throw in. A shed load of muesli and for good measure a handful of fruit and fibre and half a pack of mixed fruit, added the banana, poured over the butter/syrup mix and chucked it all in a baking tray and into the oven.
Result?
A sticky, gooey, tooth rotting mass that doesn't want to set despite spending the last hour in the fridge where it's slowly dripping through the wire rack onto the shelf below ....
While I'm thinking about what to write about I thought Id write something on how to tell if you are a true domestic slut.
Obviously this is based on observation and not necessarily (although possibly) things that I have done/not done/discovered ....
I was going to make it a 10 point check list but then I started on vacuuming and realised that I could write 10 points about that alone!
So, here it is:
You ARE a domestic slut if at least 3 of the following apply to you! (well, actually probably if ANY of the following apply to you)
1. When you can't actually remember where you vacuum is.
2. When you accidentally find the vacuum whilst you are looking for something else and you need to dust it before you can use it.
3. When you DO find the vacuum AND use it and more than two people not only notice that you have vacuumed but also feel that this phenomenon is worthy of commenting on.
4. When you realise that if you pick up the pile of crap you left at the bottom of the stairs you will leave a clean patch of carpet and therefore be shamed into vacuuming them so you leave it there.
5. When you move the sofa to vacuum underneath it and you discover a mini egg that must have rolled under there at Easter and it's now July (joking again - who the hell vacuums UNDER the sofa???).
6. When you use the vacuum and you realise that your carpet doesn't in fact have a fleck in it .......
Ok, enough on vacuuming!
7. When you get really pissed off with the cat not because he broke you favourite ornament but because you haven't got anything the exact shape or size to sit in the clear space left behind so now you have to dust!
8, When you find a scrubbing brush under the sink and wonder who the fuck bought that!
9. When the gourmet chutney you bough last Christmas has welded itself to the fridge shelf and you leave it there.
10. When you have unexpected guest arrive and you rush into the bathroom and give the sink a quick wipe over with the pair of socks you discarded on the floor last night.
11. When you consider giving the loo a quick wipe with the same socks ....
12. When you can get enough crumbs out of your toaster to make you own stuffing.
13 When you pick up a book from your bedside table and the back cover rips off because it's stuck down with the coffee you spilled several weeks ago.
14. When you have to scrape a little viewing hole on the glass door of your oven before you can see the stuff cooking in it.
15. When you have cupboards you cant open because you might be buried alive by an avalanche.
16. When you wedge said cupboard shut with the washing basket which you then cant empty as the weight of it keeps the cupboard shut.
17. When your horror at finding the remains of your wedding cake at the back of a cupboard 7 years on is tempered by the joy at finding the Sabatier knife you thought you had lost in the box (umm, guilty of that one ....).
18. When you can't be sure if you actually OWN an iron but you do know you own an ironing board because you use it for pasting wallpaper.
19. When you have products in your bathroom cupboard that are older than your children.
20. When you have food items in your cupboard that are older than your children ....
21. When ....
You know what? I could probably go on and on but to be honest, if you've said yes to even ONE of the above you probably already know that you are a true domestic slut.
To be continued (probably ...)
Disclaimer - NONE of the above actually apply to me OBVIOUSLY (well, maybe one or two but I promise I haven't cleaned my sink or loo with a pair of sock! At least, not my own .... ;)
I was casting around for something to write about which is never a good thing. If it doesn't come organically then it's probably not worth me trying to write it.
Anyway, while I thought about it I decided to do a little cleaning ....
JOKING!
I decided to do some baking and make more mess!!
I set out all the stuff to make banana cake. Why in gods name I make banana cake I don't know. I don't really like it much and neither does Miss Mac. SD likes it but he isn't a big cake eater (I know, still can't get my head round that either!) so I end up giving most of it away
So I decided to make banana flapjacks instead. Can you believe that in my entire life I've never EVER made flapjacks? Possibly it's because I don't much like flapjacks either ....
Possibly I was inspired by NS's post on cookery books to try something different. Not that I actually USED a cook book in the making of said flapjack you understand, I just chucked a load of butter and golden syrup in a saucepan and left it to melt while I checked out the cupboards for other stuff to throw in. A shed load of muesli and for good measure a handful of fruit and fibre and half a pack of mixed fruit, added the banana, poured over the butter/syrup mix and chucked it all in a baking tray and into the oven.
Result?
A sticky, gooey, tooth rotting mass that doesn't want to set despite spending the last hour in the fridge where it's slowly dripping through the wire rack onto the shelf below ....
While I'm thinking about what to write about I thought Id write something on how to tell if you are a true domestic slut.
Obviously this is based on observation and not necessarily (although possibly) things that I have done/not done/discovered ....
I was going to make it a 10 point check list but then I started on vacuuming and realised that I could write 10 points about that alone!
So, here it is:
You ARE a domestic slut if at least 3 of the following apply to you! (well, actually probably if ANY of the following apply to you)
1. When you can't actually remember where you vacuum is.
2. When you accidentally find the vacuum whilst you are looking for something else and you need to dust it before you can use it.
3. When you DO find the vacuum AND use it and more than two people not only notice that you have vacuumed but also feel that this phenomenon is worthy of commenting on.
4. When you realise that if you pick up the pile of crap you left at the bottom of the stairs you will leave a clean patch of carpet and therefore be shamed into vacuuming them so you leave it there.
5. When you move the sofa to vacuum underneath it and you discover a mini egg that must have rolled under there at Easter and it's now July (joking again - who the hell vacuums UNDER the sofa???).
6. When you use the vacuum and you realise that your carpet doesn't in fact have a fleck in it .......
Ok, enough on vacuuming!
7. When you get really pissed off with the cat not because he broke you favourite ornament but because you haven't got anything the exact shape or size to sit in the clear space left behind so now you have to dust!
8, When you find a scrubbing brush under the sink and wonder who the fuck bought that!
9. When the gourmet chutney you bough last Christmas has welded itself to the fridge shelf and you leave it there.
10. When you have unexpected guest arrive and you rush into the bathroom and give the sink a quick wipe over with the pair of socks you discarded on the floor last night.
11. When you consider giving the loo a quick wipe with the same socks ....
12. When you can get enough crumbs out of your toaster to make you own stuffing.
13 When you pick up a book from your bedside table and the back cover rips off because it's stuck down with the coffee you spilled several weeks ago.
14. When you have to scrape a little viewing hole on the glass door of your oven before you can see the stuff cooking in it.
15. When you have cupboards you cant open because you might be buried alive by an avalanche.
16. When you wedge said cupboard shut with the washing basket which you then cant empty as the weight of it keeps the cupboard shut.
17. When your horror at finding the remains of your wedding cake at the back of a cupboard 7 years on is tempered by the joy at finding the Sabatier knife you thought you had lost in the box (umm, guilty of that one ....).
18. When you can't be sure if you actually OWN an iron but you do know you own an ironing board because you use it for pasting wallpaper.
19. When you have products in your bathroom cupboard that are older than your children.
20. When you have food items in your cupboard that are older than your children ....
21. When ....
You know what? I could probably go on and on but to be honest, if you've said yes to even ONE of the above you probably already know that you are a true domestic slut.
To be continued (probably ...)
Disclaimer - NONE of the above actually apply to me OBVIOUSLY (well, maybe one or two but I promise I haven't cleaned my sink or loo with a pair of sock! At least, not my own .... ;)
4 comments:
October 11th found a Christmas bauble behind my living room curtains!!
Scariest part of that is I have a cleaner LOL
There may be more than a few of these in my home. Just one question;
What is an iron?
I realised a couple of months ago that one of the suckers used to hold the lights onto the window was still stuck to it - I don't have a cleaner, the thought of how much cleaning I'd have to do before I could let anyone clean my house is exhausting!
I'm not entirely sure Joe, but I hear tell that they are very useful if you ever encounter an intruder in your house ...
When I first came to Canada I decided to make Luke Christmas dinner, I bought load of ingredients, cooked and it was great. I went back to England and then, at the end of February I came back to Canada to see him again. All of the Christmas dinner ingredients were still in the fridge - mostly just in a mushy mess in his vegetable drawer. Before I came I think that fridge was only used for beer ;)
Post a Comment