fudge

Thursday, 3 December 2015

Slightly More Miffed Than Mad

You know when you put your all into a post and then NO ONE reads it?

Well, if they do, then no one, not ONE single person comment, and you think ...

 Phffft! (or something pertaining to something that looks very much like that word is spelt ...)

I bloody do because it happened to me last week with this post! (until  YAY Mike very kindly stopped by to leave a comment)

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY!!!

What else did I expect posting at Thanksgiving?  People have turkeys to baste and pumpkins to pie.  It's like writing a post on a Saturday and expecting people to give up their weekend to read it or something.  

It ain't going to happen!

Or, you might just say, get over yourself, it happens, move on!

So anyway, I've learned my lesson and I shall continue with my story which, if you want to read the first part now that Thanksgiving is over might (but probably won't) make more sense.

So, when I left you I was under the table at the Pavilion with Baarb and our esteemed leader on the pretence of retrieving Mikes cup which he had dropped when Sue had startled him by banging on the table but in reality we were sending each other agonised looks that said:

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES LET ANYONE KNOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PEBBLE FROM LADRAM BAY WITH WHICH OUR NOBLE SECRETARY INTENDED TO REPLACE THE EYE OF TOAD !!!

Also, while we were down there we noted that Sue was right, we did indeed have a problem with snails!

We reappeared to discover that the meeting had moved on.

Next on the agenda was new play equipment for the park.

Historically we do not get excited at this prospect as numerous promises from the Council for new equipment bought from the 106 money (money paid by developers to the council to reduce the impact of development on local areas and to be used towards community and social projects) have, over the past 4/5 years come to nothing.

HOWEVER!!

Baarb, our esteemed leader and myself had had a meeting with the council that very afternoon and we had no only been assured that THIS time money had been allocated for our park but that they had also earmarked some play equipment specifically for us AND the money was ready to begin the project and all it needed was our say so!

So we said so!

We declined their offer to leave the play equipment catalogue with us bearing in mind that it was as thick as the extended issue of War and peace and if we DID take it to the meeting then it may well be another 3/4 years before we all agreed what to have.

My mistake was in not realising that we should have put the blame firmly on the Council for the lack of said catalogue and fessing up that we had just said yes to their suggestions ...

Colin was NOT happy!

I know this because Colin said:

'I am NOT happy!'

And he looked at me very sternly as though I had made some unilateral decision to withhold the catalogue from him on top of deliberately staying away from the Bingo and therefore not being there to rescue Joy from the loo and endangering his chances of winning a chicken dinner.

BANG!!! Went Sue's hands yet again on the table.

'YES!!! - we must say YES without delay!!'  She shouted (but this time all cups were fortunately firmly on the table).

'No, no, no, no, YES' replied our noble secretary - 'I believe we already have said yes'.

'The pebble is at number 4' went on Sue - 'on the mantelpiece next to the gold carriage clock.  I saw Jane put it their with my own eyes.  You MUST FIND IT!!!'

Now I know for a fact that it's NOT at number 4 on the mantelpiece not only because our esteemed leader told me he'd put it in the bin but because our noble secretary lives 6 door down from me and all of the houses on our side of the road are odd numbers.  In addition to which, his wife is NOT called Jane ...

To be honest, even if it HAD been in our noble secretaries house I very much doubt that someone who owns 4 blue right Crocs and only 1 left black one, who can never find his keys, wallet, phone or often his dog.  Who gives the time of the next meeting as a month ago last Wednesday week and who starts a meeting by reading the minutes of a meeting we had 6 months ago would EVER be able to find it so I'm afraid that we HAVE decided to throw him under the bus with this one and let him take the flack for the missing stolen pebble.

We moved on to maintenance in the park and it was agreed that we would meet in 2 days time at 10am to clear the footpath running between the park and the duel carriageway of the leaves that had fallen from the trees and were making the path almost impassable.

Well, all of us except for our esteemed leader who announced that he had an appointment at the dentist that morning.

I was slightly surprised to hear this given that he doesn't have a tooth he can truly call his own in his entire head but it transpired that his false teeth had somehow shot involuntarily out of his mouth while he was standing innocently at the kitchen sink the day before and had skidded across the kitchen before hitting the cat's litter tray and breaking in half.

After agreeing that we couldn't agree a time for the next meeting we packed up and shuffled home to catch the next episode of I'm A Celebrity.



9 comments:

Val said...

I read it! I SWEAR! I read the first part, and thought I left a comment. Something like, "When did the Mad Hatter show up?" But maybe I just thought about leaving that, and it didn't seem good enough, and I was armpit deep in Thanksgiving dinner preparations that took five days, and I still had to post to both of my own blogs every day, and...

Be careful what you wish for. My comments are not all that great! Now I'm going back to read this one. And perhaps inflict another message of great insight on you.

Val said...

But what about the toad? Is it still missing an eye? Why was the pebble put in the bin? These cliffhangers have me on the edge of my seat. It's not like I can wait all weekend to find out, you know. Weekends are when I have the most time available for blog hopping.

K Ville said...

dear god please tell me that this is fiction...please....no one should have to do this , NO ONE...oh, the humanity.

Sarah said...

Ha ha, thank you Val (and you are forgiven). The Mad Hatter would fit right in to our meetings - in fact I suspect we wouldn't even notice him other than the fact that the tea might improve!

The toad IS indeed still missing an eye (and part of a foot) and the pebble was put in the bin to stop our noble secretary super gluing it into the unfortunate toads head! Thank you for your comments, they are always welcome :-)

I wish it were fiction K (actually, I DON'T or what would I have to blog about??). It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it ... xx

Kate said...

Hey Sarah! You're posts are awesome and you are entitled to your opinion. Its our differences that make us 'us'. Keep up the good work! oh...and come finish this story for me...Im ahving drinkers block...lol!

Polly said...

I did read both posts, honest, but then my laptop stopped working while I was trying to comment, it's only just been repaired! Love the posts, very funny. I used to be Membership Secretary for a drama group but our meetings were never as entertaining as yours:-)

Sarah said...

Thank you Kate - I would help you out but I seem to be suffering from a little writers/drinkers block myself!

I feel bad now Polly for making so many people feel guilty ... Our group is great fun but I'm never really sure if it's me or them that's completely barking mad ...

Brighton Pensioner said...

I'm sure there must be a newspaper or magazine editor who would love to have you write a regular column - if only (s)he knew!

Sarah said...

If only BP - I shall sit here quietly and wait to be discovered!