Missing ...

I miss his face …

He's frequently driven me to distraction. He's crapped in my bath and behind my telly on more than one occasion. He ate a hole straight through the centre of a chocolate cake I'd just made. He climbed right into the bin when he was small and I emptied the remains of a pasta dish all over his head dying him orange for several days, He would sit on the window sill repeatedly scraping at the glass with his paw as though he were waving to passers by. He left hair EVERYWHERE and Miss Mac was constantly covered in a fluffy white pelt. He brought in frogs and let them loose in my kitchen and, on one occasion, half a frog leaving frog juice all over the floor. He got stuck head down behind the merchants chest in the dining room with only his little white bottom and furiously wagging black tail on show.

He would snuggle up against you on the sofa leaning all his weight against you and stretch his head out to rest on your knee. He mothered all the kittens that have come through this house over the last couple of years, washing them while he purred loudly and jumping into the litter tray after them to properly cover up their tiny offerings. He saw Miss Mac through some really tough times and mopped up her tears with his furry head. He made me smile with his silly face with the big black smudge on his nose.

He was endlessly affectionate and placid no matter how hard Miss Mac hugged him and, although he would grumble loudly, he never struggled, he never unsheathed his claws and he was never aggressive.

Bear of little brain has been missing for a week now. We haven't seen his since before we went to Cornwall. I've contacted the local vets and the council but no one has seen him. Miss Mac drew up some posters with a photo of him. Rather than just the usual 'missing cat – please call' with a photo she also wrote about how much she loved and missed him and, at the bottom, written in pencil, it simply says, 'please call', the letters fainter than the print above as though reflecting the faintness of her hope because we've been here before and it's never ended well …

He's not just a cat, he's her friend and a link to her Dad who she misses too but no matter how many posters I put up, however many times I trawl the streets and search the alleyways that run behind our house peering into peoples gardens and calling his name I can't make everything right, I can't bring them back.

Sometimes I feel so damned useless!