On a regular basis I tell Miss Mac to put the toilet seat down before she flushes - she never does.
Seriously, I say to her, don't you know that each time you flush you are leaning over the open bowl and droplets of water (and whatever you have just deposited) are in the air and you are BREATHING them in???
I was asked if I ironed my bed linen the other day.
Who DOES that? Do YOU do that? I don't iron anything and, if I did, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be bed linen ...
I've spent another morning sifting through paperwork. How did I managed to accumulate SO much? It's EVERYWHERE!
I've emptied the filing cabinet and I'm pretty sure that there was nothing new put in there in the last decade. I've cleared out the large built in cupboard in my bedroom. I've sorted through the bags on top of one of the wardrobes and I've carefully gone through every single one of the 15 drawers in the merchants chest in the dining room.
The only thing left to do is the very large cupboard under the stairs which has all manner of things in it from craft supplies to carrier bags full of god knows what (but mainly paperwork I think).
How did I let things get in such a mess?
It's been a gradual slide over many years and, on the plus side, I don't appear to have ever thrown anything out. On the minus side - well, I don't appear to have ever thrown anything out ...
I'm throwing stuff out now!!!
Bags and bags of complete crap are being taken to the farm where SD kindly burns the on the bonfire for me and, with each bag of crap that leaves this house I feel like I'm gaining a little sanity.
So why? Or maybe to be more precise, why now?
I'm divorcing Ex Lax that's why.
NB. Ex Lax acquired that moniker when I friend of mine mistyped his name as 'Lack' and it seemed so appropriate - it was but a short step to 'Ex Lax' the laxative as he is my Ex and he gives me the sh**s.
About time too I expect you are thinking and indeed it is!
Please don't think I haven't been down this road before, I have, TWICE!!!
Both times he refused to play ball and sign the papers and unfortunately due to the way divorce works I was unable to proceed without his cooperation.
Anyway, enough years have passed now that I can get on with it whether he likes it or not and, given that the universe hasn't reabsorbed him and he hasn't spontaneously combusted (both things it seemed reasonable to hope for) I am going for it so I can get on with my life with SD without the past hanging over us.
It's not going to be all plain sailing. He is still digging his heels in (does he not WANT to be free of me too ...) and I have no doubt that there will be battles ahead as I try to untangle my life from his is a full and final way.
I couldn't do it without SD's support. Ex Lax still has a way of pushing my buttons although to a much less extent than he previously could but SD is the calming voice of reason. He can make me laugh at the ridiculous things Ex Lax says and does. He can make me see that even if the final verdict doesn't give me everything I feel I deserve then I'm still a winner.
I'll always be the winner (and yes, sometimes it IS the winning that counts) because I am happy, I have a good life, I carry no guilt or shame for the past and I can look at myself in the mirror and know that I have behaved with dignity and integrity.
I doubt I'll post much on this journey to free myself because what's the point? I haven't ever and wont ever use my blog as a platform to discredit anyone else (it's all subjective anyway isn't it). I may occasionally talk about it a little, I may not.
I'll almost certainly write a post when it is all over.
I'm hoping that day will be soon ...