Having to remember painful things from the past, things I would rather not re-live but things that are always there spoken or unspoken is hard.
I have to remember these things even if I don't blog about them. The blogging part isn't the hard part. The fact that they exist to be blogged about is the hard part.
There are distractions though. Small things that mean so much.
The book that Audrey gave me. I'll treasure that book and I'll use it. I'm going to keep it in the cabinet I'm in the process of renovating (blog post on that and other things soon).
Yesterday Miss Mac was late home from college.
I know she's 18 now and I know she has her own life to lead. I don't think I'm an over anxious parent. I like to think I give her just the right amount of freedom while still showing an interest in her life.
But I like to know where she is, that she is safe, that she is happy, that she is ok.
So I send her a text.
'Hey Pops' (Pops is my nickname for her) 'What time you home xx'
'Won't be long' she replies 'just having a wander around town,' and I breath easy again. She is ok, she is safe.
An hour or so later she is home.
'I bought you a present' she tells me.
'You've been so sad lately, I wanted to cheer you up - I hope you like it but, if you don't I can change it'.
What's not to like?
What's not to LOVE about the pretty, delicate silver ring with tiny flowers?
I don't like to think that my Pops worries about me but I know she is grown up enough now to understand, to be told what is happening and how I feel.
I don't want her to feel responsible for me, it's still my job to look after her but I do love the beautiful, caring, thoughtful young woman she has become and, like Audrey's book, this ring is something I will always treasure.
7 comments:
What a lovely girl! And such a pretty ring too. That speaks volumes Sarah!
Hugs
Di xx
I like that ring.
I've read (and skimmed some) of your recent posts. I hope your head feels clearer for laying it down in a timeline. It can be really hard with it bouncing around inside in a jumble of experience. Like a string bag of octopuses (octopi?) Once it's down in order sometimes your head can straighten a bit and you are ready to face the next hurdle of mess.
Good luck, it's going to be a challenge by the sounds of it and cost a shit load of money again. But hey, you can't take it with you so you nay as well throw it away on legal fees now!
Can you afford cake currently? Eat cake. Cake helps.
And tea. Drink tea. There us no problem that cannot be solved by tea.
Apart from removing tea stains, tea won't help there. But anything else tea (and cake) is your staff.
But don't try to use it literally as a staff, it's really bad for stabilising you on a bumpy road. In fact it would result in tea stains which, as we have already determined are a huge problem
Not convinced this is helping but you know, it's all I've got for you to be honest.....talk to a professional x
Oh my goodness me . . . what a pretty ring. So delicate and beautifully made. How thoughtful of your daughter to choose something so lovely for you.
Now all you need is a nice warm, wonderfully scented and delightfully foamy, bubble bath to relax in and your day will be complete!
Hugs, Sarn xxx
Oh, that was so sweet! I've never seen a ring like that. Still, I'm sure the BEST part was the relief of finding out she was okay.
It does Di, she is incredibly precious to me and I was so touched by her gift. xx
You know you are barking mad don't you K? You know I love that about you :-) - there will ALWAYS be cake here xx
When I read your comment Sarn I was sitting in the van waiting for SD. We were parked by the side of a beautiful cottage in a quiet country lane (SD had popped in to drop something off for a friend). The air was filled with the smell of newly mown grass and the sound of a hundred birds singing. Across the road a Pheasant wandered down the farm track and the sun was shining through the window. It was a prefect moment - not quite the same as a bubble bath (that came later) but so peaceful.
I love the ring, I love the thought that went with it and most of all, I love Miss Mac xxx
It's a little different isn't it Val? I haven't seen one quite like it before either, so pretty. The best part WAS getting her text, I think I'm generally worrying about stuff more at the moment but I guess that's natural. I knew she was fine but I just needed that text anyway. She's very good about my fussing :-)
What a lovely girl! I would melt if Ida bought me something like that (or anything really)
She will one day Holly, but you might have to wait until she can walk though ;-) x
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