Friday, 23 March 2012

I Am (Still) Not A Plumber

This post has been sitting on the 'blog that almost was' for a couple of days now and I'm pretty sure it's just my 'normal' sort of madness so I thought I'd bring it over to Fudge for an outing.

The other morning as I plunged the breakfast dishes into a bowl of hot soapy water I watched, almost in a detached fashion, as a swam of little brown puffs of rice raced their way to the surface and bobbed around amongst the bubbles like a layer of frog spawn or chocolate ducks on a pond.

Having spent the next 10 minutes carefully sieving the washing up water and peeling soggy cereal from every bowl, spoon and mug I then, without any conscious thought, dumped the whole lot in the sink and washed it down the drain.

The next morning saw me performing heart massage on my shower drain.

I shit you NOT!

I was quite happily washing the shampoo out of my hair when I realised the water appeared to be coming UP the drain rather than going down it.

The previous night when I'd emptied the bath and the water backed up into the shower cubicle before flooding the bathroom I had, in the absents of a plunger or any drain unblocker, tossed half a pack of caustic soda down the plug hole and hoped for the best.

When the back of the house wasn't blasted into the next street (result!) I'd assumed all was well.

Now, as I turned the shower off, half blinded by shampoo, naked and freezing cold I realised that I was standing in 2" of lukewarm water and bloody breakfast cereal!

So there I was, on my knees, one hand cupped over the drain plunger fashion, other hand on top of it:

One, two, three, and pause ....

One, two, three, aaaand pause ...

one, two, three .....

And joy of joys the water started to recede, DEEP sigh of relief.

I sat there, blue with cold bedecked with cocopops reflecting on the possibility that my life may have actually reached an all time unglamourous low.

But then, a long low gurgle came from some where deep in the bowles of the earth underneath the bathroom.

It stopped and then there was a gulping sound.

I leaned a little closer and ....

Got the hell out of there!!!

(and, doing what any sensible person would have done in the first place)

I peeled the cocopops off my feet, rinsed my hair in the sink and went out and bought some bloody drain unblocker!
Linking up with Glowless



Kelloggsville said...

There is a strange smell hovering around my utility which is normally a sign of alien life forms blocking my drains and me single handedly poisoning the water courses for the next 10 years with industrial size bottles of mr muscle ensues. I guess we all have the sudsy, cold, naked, coco poppy shower moments but you my love share it so well :)

Anonymous said...

The image of you standing there, naked, cold and covered in coco pops is a slightly amusing one...I am sure it was not amusing at the time, but to the reader - hilarious!

I am a fan of caustic soda myself - having used it several times for that very same purpose....I have found that as my hair has gotten longer, so the incidents of blocked showers has increased....Thankfully my house now has this grid thing in the shower, kindo if like an overgrown plughole and if you life the cover, all there is beneath it is a pipe of about 8 inches in diameter - even I would have problems blocking up that sucker! Does make me wonder if the darn rats can get into it though...uurrggghhhh

Lou :-)

Sarah said...

Do we K? Thank god for that!!! I sometimes think it MIGHT just be me :) xx

My victorian plumbing is the bane of my life Lou - a half inch pipe that drains both the bath and shower AND the floor slopes sending the water UP the pipe before it goes down.

Yep, hair is the main culprit here too. xx