fudge

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

It's An Education (but not as we know it ... )

Today The Lounge is being hosted by Tegan from Musings Of The Misguided and the key word is:

INTERVIEW

As is my way, rather than writing a whole new post I put the key word into my blog search to see what came up and this was the result:

It's An Education (but not as we know it ... )

Overheard conversation between Miss Mac and a friend who I shall call Leah (because that is in fact her name ;).

MM - I hate Winter and the dark nights.

L - Yeah, me too but at least you get an extra hour in bed.

MM - Yeah, but that's only for one night though isn't it.

L - Is it ..... ?  I thought it was EVERY night!!!

I despair .....

Mind you, apparently Leah also thought a blow job was when you did really badly at an interview - I shit you not!!!

I'm not really sure if I should be more concerned that Miss Mac does know what a blow job is ....

God, they grow up too fast dont they?  Luckily Miss Mac thinks it's all 'totally gross' anyway.

I discovered yesterday that kids can now request something called a C Card - this gives them access to free condoms.

I'm torn between being horrified that my 13 year old daughter is being offered this and relieved that the option is available.

I'm a realist.  I know that kids experiment.  I know that they want to grow up too fast.  I know that this is a time where physically and hormonally it's bloody confusing and I also know that emotionally no child, male or female, is, at that age, ready to take that kind of step!

Maybe I'm being naive in not worrying too much about Miss Mac but we have a good relationship, we talk about things and she is a very switched on girl with a clear focus on her future ....  Ok, I still worry ....

I've digressed a little, this was meant to be a lighthearted post and so I shall return to the story of the C Card.

Apparently one of Miss Mac friends got hold of one.  More I'm sure for the street cred of carrying one rather than with any intention of needing it and, yesterday, in an English lesson, while the teacher was out of the room for a moment she got a pack of condoms out and handed one to Miss Mac...

It was strawberry flavoured, bright pink and a size large ....

It really tasted of strawberries too - how did she know that??? Yep, I made the mistake of asking ....

Anyway, obviously Miss Mac thought it would be funny to blow it up and hit her friend over the head with it (where exactly WAS that teacher???) - she then got it stuck on her finger (it really hurt!) and then she stuck a pen in it and popped it so ....  Her friend gave her another one!

Which Miss Mac started to blow up ......

Only it got hooked on her brace .....

And the teacher came back into the room ....

And Miss Mac had a large, pink, strawberry flavoured, half inflated condom in her mouth....

The teacher looked at Miss Mac....

Miss Mac looked at the teacher....

The condom deflated as Miss Mac smiled at the teacher and dangled attractively from her brace and down her chin ....


The teacher - with remarkable control - requested that Miss Mac remove the condom from her mouth and continue with the set work.

Miss Mac -  attempted to explain through the (now flacid and flapping) condom that she couldn't as it was hooked on her brace when the teacher held up her hand to silence her.

'Miss Mac', she said.  'I am going to give you a piece of valuable advice.  Something that will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life.  Something that the rest of the class should consider and something that your parents should have drummed into you from a very early age'.

When you are in public it is very rude and considered EXTREMELY unattractive to ...

Talk With Your Mouth Full!

7 comments:

Kelloggs Ville said...

Oh bless the little dears, one minute it's all nappies and bum patting and the next it's condoms and....well I suppose nappies and bottom patting could still be in the frame.

Lou said...

Oh Sarah - this is way too funny!
Hilarious

On the serious side - I find that some good education in such matters while they find the whole sex thing gross is actually a good thing - and being laid back about it is really good cos we all know when you get wound up about something with kids, it only makes them want to do it more!

Lou :-)

Sarah said...

Oh god K, don't!!! ;)

That's my girl Lou :) - I'm fairly open and laid back about most things which does at least mean she is happy to talk to me about stuff which has to be a good thing.

Car said...

Now that my dear is good writing, you have a knack for comedy and descriptive - hilarious!

Sarah said...

Thanks Car ;)

ann said...

I have said it before but you and your entire family need to walk around with gopros or something similar strapped to you so all this funny stuff is recorded!!
Funny funny funny, loved it!!

Sarah said...

We probably should Ann - some of this stuff would make great vlogs :-)