Abandoning All Hope

I sometimes worry that maybe people might think I'm a little ....  Hmmm, frivolous? 

Maybe even a bit lightweight ...

I did wonder if I should write a post explaining that ok, yes, I MIGHT just be those things at times BUT there's far more to me than that (honest!!).

I was going to point out that actually, I am a fairly intelligent, responsible and capable person.  That many people value my advice and opinion (yes you do, go on,  admit it! ;).

That, when the need arises I can (arise?) be relied upon to stand up and be counted.

I thought I'd give a few examples and cast around for inspiration.

I have to say, I probably don't do myself any favours do I?

This morning I 'liked' a page on FB (I tend not to like to many as you get inundated with crap but this one was connected to a blog I found through a friend which looked like fun).

Anyway - I  managed to not only say lubricant but also penis, TWICE, in my very first comment ...  possibly NOT a great example then ...

I commented on a status from a friend who said that they had snow this morning and asked if I could come to play - He said:

' NO...not letting you anywhere near it. You're WAY to dangerous as it is.....lol.'

Completely unfair (as I pointed out) - it's been almost 2 years since I last broke a bone in the snow!

So I checked out my recent status updates - surely I must have said something semi intelligent or insightful???

Most recent:

'Hmm, it's probably just steam (altho it COULD be smoke) -I'll just turn it back on - see what happens...'

 

The response I got?

 

'OK , it's been eight hours now should I phone the emergency services or is the new pressure cooker now working? It's no wonder I worry'

 

Some people have SO little faith in me, it's astounding! ( I don't even own a pressure cooker:)

 

I delved a little further (pretty confident that at some point Id find something to redeem myself ...) and found this:

 

'Dumb question time - Are you supposed to put shoe polish on with a brush and then polish it off with a cloth or is it the other way round???'

 

To which the answer (for those also not in the know) is - you should used two brushes, one to put it on and one to polish after.  Failing that then, on with a cloth, off with the brush.

 

And no, I didn't wait for the answer.  And yes, I got it the wrong way round ok?

 

Moving on ...

 

'My relief at not having trodden on a slug (again!) was short lived when I realised it was cat shit!'

 

Now that status went global ...  ok, viral ... - well, got reposted anyway by a friend so that all of HER friends could laugh at me too!

 

Then I hit GOLD!

 

A friend had posted THIS!!

 

'Thank you to Sarah Mac for her assistance with my fantastic blackberry and apple crumble! Not tried it yet but sometimes that's for the best - rest on my laurels!'

 

See?  I DO have my moments! (we shall gloss over the fact that she was force feeding her son said crumble)

 

With restored faith I carried on:

 

I found this photo:

 

 

With the caption:

 

What am I doing? Isn't it obvious that I'm ironing Miss Mac's homework?

 

Aspersions were  cast on my having the right skills to actually use an iron (bloody cheek!)

 

Possibly I didn't help myself when I confessed that I hadn't realised she's used crayon for some of it and now I had melted crayon all over my ironing board cover and, when it was suggested that ironing over it with a layer of brown paper between the iron and cover would probably take it off I used the first bit of brown paper I came across (it worked btw) but no one had said not to use the paper bag the onions were stored in ...  I mean seriously people, don't go leaving out the important details ok?

 

'Clearly I should not be let loose with hairspray'

 

Self explanatory if you've read my 'Seduction Sarah Stylee' post ...

 

And then FINALLY (thank you god!)  I found this staus I posted last week!:

 

'Love the innocence of someone (who shall remain nameless) who has no idea why I laughed until I cried when they ended dictating an email I was typing for them with - 'see you next Tuesday'.'

 

Oh I'm aware it doesn't really further MY case (but at least it does prove that it's not just me :)

 

BTW - thinking of conducting a straw pole - asking people if they think there might be any hope for me or if I'm lost cause - what do you think???