Exploding The Myth

'Are you on your period?' - SD backed off a little as my eyes narrowed.

'It's just that you're looking a little ...  pale .....'

He backed off further as I growled.

'It looks like all the blood has drained from your face to your ........'

'To my what SD? - MY WHAT?????'

Silently he reached into the cupboard and handed me a pack of Jaffa Cakes - unfortunately it was the empty pack I'd put in there to fool him into thinking I hadn't eaten them all ...

I mentioned in my last post that I'd read a post from Dad Down Under - you can find it here if you want to take a look.

It started with a comment on his FB page which said:

'Ladies I need your help .... again.  You know the angry stage of a period, how long does that actually last?  And is there anything your partner can do to ease the pain/stay out of the firing line (mostly stay out of the firing line).

To which I obviously responded:

It last as long as it last dammit!  Added to which, it doesn't actually exist ok?

He then went on to write the aforementioned post with a suggestion that perhaps women could adopt a broach system.

A green broach for: It's safe, you're in no immediate danger.

An orange broach for: My lava is starting to boil..

A red broach for: Stay the fuck away!

Now I admire forward thinking men but I instantly saw the flaw in his thinking.

Broaches have SHARP STABBY BITS!!!

I pointed this out to him.

He replied:

'I didn't think of that Sarah, you can get clip on ones can't you?  That might work?'

Hmmm, slightly missing the point there DDU - the sharp stabby bits are mostly what attracts me to the idea!

It's totally beyond me why men feel they can understand or empathise with a woman's menstrual cycle or even why they would want to.

Maybe they'd like to go the whole hog and take it off our hands?

Now THAT would be  something we could agree on!

Let me make a few things clear (I shall do this in picture format to make it easier for male readers)

Do not EVER try to compete/compare anything you have ever been through to period pains:

(and don't even get me started on giving birth ;)

And we will ALWAYS win:

Do not try and empathise:

even if you think you mean it this WILL be seen as patronising!

You don't need to tread on eggshells or listen carefully for sub text - we will make our needs VERY clear:

If you have a daughter who's your little princess right now just remember, come puberty:

friends/daughters/co-workers - whatever

And finally - Although it is always possible that hormones may be determining her mood you should always consider this possibility:

Of course, as already mentioned.  PMT (or PMS, whatever you want to call it) doesn't actually exist and even if it did - I DON'T SUFFER FROM IT ..... m'kay???

Oh, and in case you have missed my relentless flogging - you can now find Fudge on face book. Just search for People Don't Eat Enough Fudge :)