fudge

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

A Kind Of P***s Envy

Linking up with with Maxabella, Life Love and Hiccups, Sonia Styling and Kelly Exeter for the Weekend Rewind.

Miss Mac came bounding in from school yesterday, flung her bag on the floor, kicked off her shoes and headed for the stairs.  On the way up she paused and shouted down:

'Hey Mum, got an A* in English today for my controlled penis assessment'.

??? ........ !!!!

Of course I MUST have misheard mustn't I?

'Ummm, your controlled what??'

'PENIS ASSESSMENT' she shouted back, 'An A* - I was the only one in the class who got and A* for it'.

Now I'd say I'm pretty broad minded but seriously??

A million and one thoughts rushed through my head:

 'An A* - I should be proud of her'.

'PENIS ASSESSMENT??'

'In English?  Was the teacher qualified to be teaching that kind of stuff??'

'PENIS ASSESSMENT??'

'Just what kind of school IS this?'

'PENIS ASSESSMENT??'

And, curiously ...  'Just how the hell DO you control one of those ....?'

She came back downstairs.

'So', I asked, 'just what exactly did that involve ...'

'Oh, just the usual, you know Mum (I most certainly don't!), showing understanding, analysis, that kind of thing.  Did you know he won the Carnegie medal?'

'Who did?'

'Penis'.

'Actually, he won it twice.  Once for Monsters of Men and once for A Monster Calls'.

Ahh, that would be the author P (Patrick) NESS then ....

To celebrate I took Miss Mac to have her hair cut.  Now for ME that's almost on a par with visiting the dentist - I LOATH having my hair cut:

As you can see - in dire need of a hair cut (or at least a fringe trim!)

Miss Mac knew exactly what she wanted and she had a picture to show the stylist -  it shouldn't have been too hard to achieve - very similar to her existing cut with a few layers and a long fringe cut in.

It didn't exactly go to plan ...

She is not happy although fortunately the stylist has left it longer than it should be so when she stops sulking about it I will take her somewhere else to get it done again.

Later that evening when Miss Mac had finally stopped telling me how much she hated her hair and we'd practised a few up do's for school today and then plaited her hair after her shower she came over for a cuddle.

Miss Mac is very tactile despite being 15 and dumped herself into my lap.

There was an odd popping sound.

'DID YOU JUST BREAK WIND ON MY LAP!!!'

Miss Mac professed innocence (although in that particular department she is often extremely guilty - gets it from her father ....).

A few more pops ....

'GET OFF MY LAP RIGHT NOW!!!'

'I didn't DO anything' she shouted climbing off.  As she did so I noticed ...

The very old leggings she was wearing as pyjama bottoms had given way all the way up the seam (the stitches breaking were obviously the popping sound I had hear) and she stomped off indignantly totally oblivious to the fact that half her bum was hanging out.

I LOVE having a daughter!






6 comments:

K Ville said...

I've never seen an A* PNess, perhaps it's a hope we should all hold out for our daughters. Yours is clearly an achiever, even if a slightly over exposed one!

Sarah said...

I've never seen one either K but we can all dream ...

Holly Nelson @ English Girl Canadian Man said...

Oh my goodness - I love your daughter! That is so funny on both accounts! She sounds so innocent, bless her!

Sarah said...

She's a total star Holly - never a dull moment and we laugh lots!

Kelly Exeter said...

Ha ha your daughter sounds hilarious. How lovely to be able to have such good laughs with and from her!

Sarah said...

Se's an endless source of entertainment Kelly, I am very lucky!