What The Internet has Taught Me.
Well ... Yes ... Well, ACTUALLY I like to think that I may have taught many people many valuable lessons and that at some point I may be acknowledged with a letter from the Queen or may be a medal or a bar of chocolate or something ...
But that doesn't mean that I haven't been learning too!
Mostly I've learned that people often ignore my totally hilarious updates and that they don't appreciate me at all ...
If I didn't find myself so funny there really are times that I might GIVE IT ALL UP!!
Anyway, this is a post I wrote a while ago which I think outlines the problem - please note, there is a little RIPE language for which I apologise if it offends you (but I WAS provoked!).
There's nothing worse than thinking the hamster's dead and then discovering the hamster is indeed dead!
This morning I discovered Figgy in his wheel. the wheel is sealed and fits to the rotostack with entry by means of a tube. How the fuck are you supposed to get a dead hamster out?
It's pretty hard to tell if a hamster is dead or just sleeping so I span the wheel a bit just to check. A live hamster probably would have woken up rather than just thudding around (in a solid fat hamster kind of way ...).
The only solution seemed to bury poor Figgy in his wheel which is kind of gross as it's not biodegradable so next year Id probably be accidentally digging up his decomposed remains in a bright yellow plastic coffin.
Anyhow, turns out Figgy isn't dead at all, phew!
This is supposed to be a post about my frankly hilarious (judge for yourselves and then lie and tell me I'm right ;) and completely ignored Twitter tweets (seems there should be a better way of putting that). I re posted a couple on FB because, well because I require the adulation and gratification which was sadly lacking in Twitter land. For good measure I may throw in a couple of FB status updates that didn't make it as far as Twitter and maybe just one or two random thoughts that ought to really just stay in my head.
So to start you off, here are the tweets that the twits ignored ...
'Hormones may turn me into a complete bitch at times but boy they get the house clean! (and, if I don't want to clean it, I just break it')
'Arse, gloss paint - elbow, emulsion - yes doubters, I KNOW the difference! '
'Without GHD's my hair would probably qualify for it's own postcode! ' (this one had previously appeared on FB but given the state of my hair on that day was worthy of a rerun)
'just looked in the mirror - it gonna be another day of relying heavily on personality and mouthwash - mostly mouthwash to be fair ... '