All Is NOT As It Seems ... And How I was NEARLY A Millionaire!

'I can almost trim the hair on my legs with the nail scissors'

I observe my beautiful shining daughter with her fresh, unlined face, her glossy, thick hair, her carefully arched brows and her newly painted nails ...

And I must confess, I wondered ...

I wondered what other horrors lurked beneath this gorgeous exterior?

Has her body in adolescence also become covered in scales like a fish?

Does she now possess claws like a chicken in place of feet?

HAS SHE GROWN A TAIL????

Seriously though, I LOVE having a daughter, she steals borrows my clothes (and looks SO much better in them than I do) - I borrow try on her clothes (and she looks SO much better in them than I do ...).

She lets me know when I have glitter in my moustache or scrambled egg in my hair.

She tells me when I'm dressed 'age inappropriately' and I always generally ignore her.

We have competitions to see who has the longest tongue (she won), who can pull the freakiest faces (pretty even). who has the longest toe hair (Miss Mac by a mile!) and who can touch the top of the door frame with their foot (I am quietly proud to say I was the winner although I did fall over and now can't stand completely straight ...).

Miss Mac has been contemplating the forthcoming festive season.

FAR too early in my humble opinion!

SHE is of the opinion that we should invest in some new Christmas decorations ...

Now I'll admit that some of mine ARE pretty ancient and some are broken and nothing matches but they have HISTORY and although they might be fairly crap they do have a certain familiarity which I find comforting.

Anyway, have you SEEN the price of new decorations???

Actually, I haven't because I haven't looked and I don't intend to when I can ....

MAKE THEM MYSELF OUT OF LOO ROLL INNERS!!!

Impressed?

You won't be when you see them ...

I don't know how I came to be googling what to do with the cardboard inners from loo rolls.  Possibly I was trying to placate SD who is perplexed at how much of the stuff Miss Mac and I can get through (honestly, it's like kitchen rollgate and wet towelgate ALL OVER AGAIN!!!).

Maybe I thought that if I could come up with some ingenious use for the spent loo roll inners then he would see the advantage of having a world surplice and in addition to that our recycling box wouldn't be over flowing with the things.

I found some fairly crappy ideas (geddit?  Loo roll/crappy?).  I could make wall art out of them:

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 Not really my thing ...

I could plant seedlings in them:

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But that's what I have Janet for, she grows all my seedlings ...


I could even make faux birch napkin rings out of them!!!

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I might try that one. SO handy when you can't find your regular napkin rings don't you think ....

So anyway, I had a think and then I had a rummage through the cupboard under the stairs where I chuck everything and cant find anything my craft cupboard and I found some self adhesive silver glitter paper that I'd used to cover the shoe box for Miss Mac's birthday cake:

For those who missed that MASTERPIECE (those are actually cupcakes on the top)

I looked at the glitter paper and I looked at the loo roll inners and a plan formed in my head ...

I actually started with the inner from a kitchen roll holder as we had one of those that was inexplicably used up too.

I quickly cover one with the paper.  Cut it lenghtwise to open it up.  Measured out the strips and cut them into lengths and then joined them up sticking them with sellotape.

SD won't let me have a hot glue gun however much I crave one.  He says he can't spare the time to constantly take me up to A&E to have stuff surgically removed after I've stuck myself to it which I think is VERY unfair because it's my friend Claire who superglued herself to the toilet cistern and it was also Claire who had to drive to my house with a brush tangled in her fringe so that I could cut it out for her.  I've NEVER had to go to A&E with a foreign object stuck to my person (although there was that one time I when I stuck a wooden spatula to my ankle when I tried to wax my legs and I had to walk around like that for several hours before I could pluck up the courage to rip it off ...)

ANYWAY!

It didn't look TOO bad

But you could see where I'd marked the inside with marker pen and the sellotape looked messy so I thought I'd try again ...

I decided to try again with a loo roll inner.

I cut this one lengthwise first and then covered BOTH sides with the glitter paper before cutting it into strips.

Then I remembered that Miss Mac had some double sided sellotape for mounting photos for her photography course so I rummaged under her bed until I found it and stuck them together with that.

It looked GREAT and I was considering where I could hang my masterpiece once it was finished when I heard a popping sound.

The double sided tape hadn't held and this is what I was left with:

After all my hard work!!!

If I had a hot glue gun that would NEVER have happened would it?

The little picture in my head of me opening my own Etsy shop and selling all this cool stuff I'd made with loo roll inners exploded into nothingness all because SD thinks I can't be trusted with a bit of hot glue!

If he only he had a bit more faith in me we could have all been millionaires!!