Wednesday, 21 October 2015

Slightly Battered But Not Bruised ..

I've just read a post by Val, the Victorian at Unbagging the Cats (a blog name I love almost as much as my own!).

Val is currently suffering from 'Flushotknee' and it sounds very painful (but seems thankfully to be on the mend!).

Anyway, it reminded me of this post that I wrote way, way back and I thought I'd re-post it again to show solidarity so here it is:

Slightly Battered But Not Bruised ..

I wasn't going to blog today (I say that on a fairly frequent basis) - I thought you might deserve a day off but then I though nah, you probably don't.

Besides, I need to say a huge THANK YOU to Slapdash Mama for hosting regurgitated 'Clipboards And Catshit' yesterday and I thought that while I was here I might tell you about some of the extraordinary similarities we share that actually make me wonder if I DID make her up!

First of all there's the name:

She's called Sarah - I'm called Sarah but, if that wasn't enough, we are BOTH called Sarah Mac!

She embraces Slapdashery (near enough is good enough) and I live by the philosophy of domestic sluttery (under everything there is something).

She baked the shit out of spiral things in the same week I baked the shit out of these!

She write atrocious poetry, I write much better rhyming stuff something similar.

It's ENDLESS I tell you!

So, in the interest of oneness I thought I'd copy her borrow an idea from her and show you my OOTD (that's outfit of the day to those not in the know).

If you want to see Sarah's OOTDs then take a look around her blog, it's full of useful hints like  - how to best photograph your camel toe in jeggings.

Anyway, enough about NS, this is about me, me, ME!

I'm not going to show you my OOTD for today because I'm not wearing it yet ... Oh, ok, if you insist - right now, I'm wearing:

Very sexy cropped legging and a huge t-shirt (probably stolen) which I wore to bed because it's bloody freezing!

I'm still not going to show you my OOTD because I don't actually know what it is yet so I'll show you yesterdays.

Although I decided that rather than take a photo pointing downwards like Sarah did (cause that's hard!) Id just lie on the floor with my legs in the air (cause that's easier until you have to get up again).

legging and Golddigga boots

I couldn't recreate Sarah's camel toe - god knows I TRIED, honest! So I decided to go for the 'model' pose instead ;)

Not sure I entirely pulled this one off  - possibly I just look constipated but I did manage to recreate Sarah's HUGE hand

See all that shit on the floor?  It was on the bed but it got on the photo so I chucked it on the floor where it was STILL in the photo so I threw a towel over it and now you can barely see it!

I really really wanted to recreate Sarah's 'foot on the bath' shot but the mirror in my bathroom is about 6ft away from the bath and even my legs wont stretch that far so I hoicked my leg up onto the frame of the bed and took this moments before I fell over.

Talking of photos, did you see THIS yesterday????

The bruise dammit, not the scrotty nail varnish!

Anyway, that's a pretty impressive bruise no?

SD dropped a trailer on my foot on Tuesday night AND WAS NOT AT ALL SORRY!!!

Apparently it was my own fault for standing exactly where he told me to doing exactly what he told me to do  - duh - how VERY stupid of me! Then he had the cheek to say I was making a fuss over nothing when I hopped around in agony.

Anyway, yesterday I was all set to show him a bloody great bruise so that he would be really, really sorry and make me endless cups of tea and stuff but!!!

Not a mark!  Not one single little bruise!!!

I was NOT happy!

So I painted that one on with makeup ;)


joeh said...

That is reminiscent of Val's Flushottoe.

Val said...

Perhaps you did not know that I hate feet. Can't stand feet. The only feet almost tolerable (heh,heh, I first typed TOElerable) are baby feet. And there I was, reading along, not at all squeamish about the possibility of seeing your camel toe, when THERE WAS YOUR FOOT! There oughta be a law against surprise feet. Well done. Ya got me!

That is a bang-up job with the makeup! You could go to Hollywood and work in foot horror movies.

Sarah said...

It is isn't it Joe? As soon as I read Val's post it reminded me.

Sorry for offending your eyes Val and I promise never to publish a photo of my foot again (and probably not my camel toe either)! I thought my bruise was pretty impressive too but sadly SD refused to acknowledge it so I washed it off ...

Holly Hollyson said...

How are you so skinny? What is your secret. I probably just need to stop eating food. Anyway - did you say a trailer? Like a trailer? I can't even imagine what that was like!

Sarah said...

A real, proper trailer Holly, the type you can load a small car on to! I can't believe I didn't have a real life bruise after that!

I'm not quite so skinny at the moment, too many blackberry and apple crumbles! I am genetically disposed to being a bit on the skinny side though so I can't take any credit for it.