Much as I love my family and friends and enjoy spending time with them, there are times when I crave solitude. Times when I find the simple presence of others overwhelmingly claustrophobic.
Times when I just want to be alone.
This weekend I should have been at the races. I should have been enjoying the amazing weather in the company of friends soaking up the fun and the sunshine.
I realised on Friday that what I needed was time to myself. Normally I'd just get over myself. Paint on a happy face and get out there and have some fun ( and by all accounts it was a fantastic day), but this weekend that feeling was too intense and I just wanted time to think.
Ironically the last thing I gave myself time to do was think.
I whipped myself up into a storm of cleaning ( and I'm talking emptying cupboards, wiping down walls and skirting, cleaning the outside drain, proper hard core cleaning....).
Although I didn't want to be with people it seems I didn't want to think either.
Yesterday, in an effort to regain my 'best girlfriend in the world' title (SD was rather disappointed in my no show) I spent the day in the garden painting the new wheels for the beach buggy and burning myself to a crisp at the same time.
SD was away all day taking some kids from his school to a football tournament in Birmingham, a huge achievement for those kids who are the South West champs.
SD has decided that we should move from 4 stud to wide 5's on the buggy ( something that unless you know what I'm talking about will interest you not at all so I won't bang on about it) he also decided that they should be white having spent several weeks telling me that they should be black as its almost impossible to get a decent finish in white!
Anyway, they got 2 coats yesterday and will get the final one this afternoon but I thought I'd take a little time out to come chat with you ...
I'm just waffling really, nothing much to say, still feeling that odd sense of feeling rather flat for no particular reason.
Maybe its internet withdrawal. Having to come out to pick up WiFi has well and truly lost its appeal. I should get my replacement router in the next day or so which means I'll be back properly fingers crossed.
Maybe I do just need to allow myself that time to think rather than filling my time with franetic activity.
Maybe I just need to get over myself - yep, I think that's the one.
Maybe I'll live dangerously and give the tabard an outing ;-)
Whatever it is that's bugging me right now I'm sure I'll be over it pretty soon - I'm rarely down for long.
More of that PUREFUCKINGSTYLE coming at ya soon :-)