I just read a Facebook status from a fellow blogger - actually, she's not a FELLOW blogger, she's a lady with one of those mega blogs that I don't even aspire to because they look like FAR too much hard work ...
Anyway, the status update read:
'Best packing tip... GO!'
And she's so far had over 80 fricking replies!!
I KNOW!!
You know what my latest update said? Well, no, you don't so I'll tell you ...
'Complete panic with much screaming and some bad language when I couldn't turn the hot tap off!!!
Then I turned it the other way ... I should have been an engineer or something ...'
And you know what I've got??
One solitary 'like' - One ... ONE!!!
Anyway, to return to the point ...
Most of her replies said things like:
' Yes! Roll your clothes into matching outfits, including accessories, and stuff them into those a4 size glad bags.' (that one got 5 likes)
'Pack a light change of clothes in your carry on in case of lost luggage.' (6 likes for that one)
Lots of them said use zip lock bags (whatever they are) for your toiletries and use plenty of tissue paper between layers ....
Seriously??
Get real people, you don't need ANY of that stuff!!
You know what MY holiday essentials are?
1) Protective head gear (for those times your daughter exits the awning at the same time you enter and BREAKS YOUR BLOODY NOSE!
2) A sick bag and blindfold for when you take the cliff path Lamorna and you get 90 % of the way there and the bloody cliff path has crumbled into the sea and there is a 4" ledge to walk along for several feet with a 200ft drop to certain death with no barrier AND SD won't even entertain the idea of turning back because he can SMELL the coffee from the little cafe at the harbour.
3) Proper sun cream to avoid having to stop at a little shop in the middle of nowhere to buy blue kids stuff that turns your daughter into a Smurf.
4) A large basket to hang over your arm as you cycle through the country lanes so you can pick up the potatoes that fall off the back of the tractor that just thundered past you scaring the shit out of you and take them back to cook over the gas ring (I recommend slicing them thinly and kind of TOASTING them) - as I once said, don't think of it as picking stuff up off the road, think of it as foraging or vegetarian road kill or something ...
5) Toilet roll (self explanatory really ...).
6) A local dialect book (in my case that would been Cornish) so that when they say things like 'Heller' you don't confuse them with posh gits from Bloomsbury and think it some kind of greeting when in fact what they actually said was that your child is the devils spawn.
7) A variety of hair pieces to save you time and to ensure that you always look perfect groomed ... Actually, I confess - that ISN'T really one of mine (but don't you just LOVE how it blended in seamlessly ...), it was in fact a packing tip from a member of the TOWIE (The Only Was Is Essex) cast but it COULD be a real time saver for SD and I don't you think??
So yes, I think that about covers it and I am of to pop my very useful tips onto that bloggers thread, I'm sure she will be MOST impressed and I hope you have found them useful too ...
Last night SD and I passed this lovely little cottage in the country with a small field in front of it containing 5 sheep. Now I have a love/hate relationship with sheep as you will know as in, used to love 'em/now hate 'em but it did look like such an idyllic set up and it set me musing ...
You know those FB quizzes? Yes, I know YOU know BP ;-) - they kind of suck you in don't they?
I mean, who DOESN'T want to know which book you should read based on your zodiac sign or which Hogwarts house you belong in or how much you have in common with Taylor Swift or which Telly Tubby you are ...
So, I thought, how about ....
WHAT WOULD YOUR SHEEP NAME BE!!!
I know, I almost choked on my own saliva when I came up with that one!!!
I'm torn between two, mine would either be:
Sylvester - no, NOT Sylvester sheep but after Stallone ie RAMbo OR ....
Bloody hell, can you believe I've actually FORGOTTEN the other one .... It was REALLY good too, even better than Sylvester. I KNEW I should have text it to myself ... I shall text myself now to remind myself to ask SD to remind me what it was I forgot ...
What would YOUR sheep name be? Can YOU come up with any FB quizzes as good as that one?
'Pack a light change of clothes in your carry on in case of lost luggage.' (6 likes for that one)
Lots of them said use zip lock bags (whatever they are) for your toiletries and use plenty of tissue paper between layers ....
Seriously??
Get real people, you don't need ANY of that stuff!!
You know what MY holiday essentials are?
1) Protective head gear (for those times your daughter exits the awning at the same time you enter and BREAKS YOUR BLOODY NOSE!
2) A sick bag and blindfold for when you take the cliff path Lamorna and you get 90 % of the way there and the bloody cliff path has crumbled into the sea and there is a 4" ledge to walk along for several feet with a 200ft drop to certain death with no barrier AND SD won't even entertain the idea of turning back because he can SMELL the coffee from the little cafe at the harbour.
3) Proper sun cream to avoid having to stop at a little shop in the middle of nowhere to buy blue kids stuff that turns your daughter into a Smurf.
4) A large basket to hang over your arm as you cycle through the country lanes so you can pick up the potatoes that fall off the back of the tractor that just thundered past you scaring the shit out of you and take them back to cook over the gas ring (I recommend slicing them thinly and kind of TOASTING them) - as I once said, don't think of it as picking stuff up off the road, think of it as foraging or vegetarian road kill or something ...
5) Toilet roll (self explanatory really ...).
6) A local dialect book (in my case that would been Cornish) so that when they say things like 'Heller' you don't confuse them with posh gits from Bloomsbury and think it some kind of greeting when in fact what they actually said was that your child is the devils spawn.
7) A variety of hair pieces to save you time and to ensure that you always look perfect groomed ... Actually, I confess - that ISN'T really one of mine (but don't you just LOVE how it blended in seamlessly ...), it was in fact a packing tip from a member of the TOWIE (The Only Was Is Essex) cast but it COULD be a real time saver for SD and I don't you think??
So yes, I think that about covers it and I am of to pop my very useful tips onto that bloggers thread, I'm sure she will be MOST impressed and I hope you have found them useful too ...
Last night SD and I passed this lovely little cottage in the country with a small field in front of it containing 5 sheep. Now I have a love/hate relationship with sheep as you will know as in, used to love 'em/now hate 'em but it did look like such an idyllic set up and it set me musing ...
You know those FB quizzes? Yes, I know YOU know BP ;-) - they kind of suck you in don't they?
I mean, who DOESN'T want to know which book you should read based on your zodiac sign or which Hogwarts house you belong in or how much you have in common with Taylor Swift or which Telly Tubby you are ...
So, I thought, how about ....
WHAT WOULD YOUR SHEEP NAME BE!!!
I know, I almost choked on my own saliva when I came up with that one!!!
I'm torn between two, mine would either be:
Sylvester - no, NOT Sylvester sheep but after Stallone ie RAMbo OR ....
Bloody hell, can you believe I've actually FORGOTTEN the other one .... It was REALLY good too, even better than Sylvester. I KNEW I should have text it to myself ... I shall text myself now to remind myself to ask SD to remind me what it was I forgot ...
What would YOUR sheep name be? Can YOU come up with any FB quizzes as good as that one?
22 comments:
Hahaha Rambo... what about Patrick Ewing as in EWEing for the gender confused sheep?
Oh my god, OMG Jenni, that's INSPIRED (almost tempted to pretend that was the one I forgot ...)
Erm...I like to pride myself on my originality, so how about...Shaun...the sheep?!
Also, I follow someone writerly on FB and she sounds like your friend, she posts something like...do you like salty or sweet popcorn? and 351 responses later....I am not even joking...NOT EVEN! I tell people the skys falling in and I get a like from my 84yr old Grandma!
I love Shaun the sheep Kate so that's fine by me.
It probably IS the same blogger and it's not that I don't LIKE her (I mean, I follow her don't I), it's just ... Well, YOU know ...
Your hot water tap comment is WAY better than the stupid packing tip!
If you have the same fear of height that I do, that 4 inch ledge was probably 4 feet. I know, it looks like 4 inches to me too.
I don't think I have a sheep name. Maybe you need to come up with a bunch of absurd questions for me to answer like they do on FB so I can figure one out?
I thought so too Joe ... ;-)
SD tried to convince me that it was about 4ft but I wasn't having any of it!
You know I could don't you Karen ...
Toilet paper is always a must. Doesn't matter where you're going.
Very true Robin - I suspect it should have been my number one tip (or number two ...) but to be honest, protective head gear probably IS something I'm more likely to need ...
It's too early here for me to think of a sheep name. But I am a fan of not thinking too much about packing. Especially if you're moving around a lot.
I shall, of course, print off your travel packing tips and take them with me to Skegness. And my sheep name would be...FANG.
Don't worry Lydia, I shall devise that quiz for you to take so I can come up with on on your behalf!
I am quietly (and modestly) quite proud of that list Mike, I'm sure it will come in most handy for you on your travels ... Love your sheep name, we should have named that bloody thing we had (very briefly) Fang or something :-)
Um, Baaarbara.
I know, I know...
Love your packing tips! Totally second point two with the packing of a vomit bag. I have them pretty strategically placed coz one of mine is a vomitron. Fun and games.
Cheers for linking with The Lounge!
Yep, Baaarbra definitely makes it on to the list Robo - just realised that I forgot to link to The Lounge - really sorry, link now in place!
The vomit bags are mostly for me due to my absolute and irrational fear of heights, luckily we are all fairly good travellers although Big D did once vom all over his Great Grandmothers (fake) fur coat in the back of the car - messy ...
I see folks post about the color of their kid's snot. They get 700 likes and 2k comments. I post about my giveaway and get nada. LOL Maybe I should request travel advice. Seems I'd get some good laughs.
My sheep name.... hmmmm..... very good question... Ewegenia.
HILARIOUS!!!!
I never get any "Likes" either and if I do, they are my relatives... LOL
Please please please start wearing a gopro around everywhere so we get all of your hilarious antics on film!!'
I don't think I can top Rambo so will leave it at that!!
Best packing tip I have is don't forget the booze money!!
Sven the sheep. Not sure why but I really dig that name 🐑
Yikes, tissue paper between layers. My top tip would be to put an extra bag in for your dirty socks and underwear to prevent lethal cross contamination. As for sheep name (which is a great quiz), I have to think of my sister who was a fellow Nelson (our surname) and opted for a double barrel name when she married her husband (surname Woolley), yes - that makes her a Woolley Nelson. She already has a sheep name.
Jules you are So right, it's just wrong! Love Ewegina and it shall go into the mix!
God, the BOOZE money Ann, did I really forget that one ... I can't believe I forgot THAT one!
Svens a cool sheep name Jenn, it sounds like an intillectual sheep unlike the little bastard I had the misfortuned to share the back seat of a van with.
I know, tissue paper Holly??? It made me snort! Wooley Nelson is a BRILLIANT sheep name - did you ever read my post about names? My fav double-barreling has to be my ex's ex who when from White to White-Cummings - I mean - WHY ....??
Can't think how I came to miss this, possibly the most useful - strike that - useless packing info I've ever seen. But can you advise on packing the car with a dog's basket, a walker-thingy (absolutely essential for the Old Bat), a large suitcase, wellie boots, a frozen turkey and half a dozen bottles of wine?
I'm on it BP!
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