fudge

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Lipstick And Powder*

So ... lunch.

How was it?

It was great!

I can honestly say that Matt ticks many of my boxes.

He has an intelligent humour, a slightly self depreciating style (arrogance being top of my 'one strike and you're out' list), a warm personality and he seems get me.

That last one being very important from a personal point of view. 

After all, how many men would come back after a chipped tooth and being told you wanted to admire their balls?    
          
I understand that my particular brand of scantiness and chaos may not suit everyone. Some people prefer order and calm rather than what I like to fondly think of as 'colour'.  But I'm multifaceted, as are most people, and that is just a part of me. 

If someone were to judge me on that basis alone then there is a very large part of me that they would be missing.


Lunch was remarkably uneventful in that I didn't break anything, go to the wrong place, cause injury to anyone else or make any unintentional sexual suggestions.

So far, so good.

But, there's always a bloody but with me isn't there ...

Matt is still slightly freaking me out in someways.

I'm starting to wonder if there is some 'how to seduce Sarah' script out there on the 'net.

It's uncanny the way he has, on several occasions, said almost word for word the same things that someone else once said to me.

Being constantly reminded of someone else is NOT conducive to progressing a possible relationship (even if the reminders are of someone you were very fond of).

Scratch that.

PARTICULARLY if they are reminders of someone you were very fond of in this case.

The thing is, Matt quite clearly isn't that person. In many ways he is very different.

I'm still in the early stages of getting to know him but there is no confusion other than, as I've said before, this faint echo.

There is also, for me, sadly no spark ...

You know that indefinable fizz you get when you know this is going somewhere?

It's missing.

I know me.  I'm not a slow burner. 

It's either there or it isn't (mostly I find it's not) and with Matt, it isn't.

I really wish I'd met him through work or something and we had become mates, I think we could be really good mates.

I have quite a few male friends and they mean the world to me. 

I like male company (love my female friends too!) and I have no problem with there being a hint of flirtation in my friendships. 

Mr R&R and MR O and I often have flirtation fests but we know the rules so no one has any expectations or gets hurt or confused.

I'm not sure what Matt is hoping for, if anything ...

Ok, so he sent me a text after lunch saying how much he had enjoyed it (me too!) and that he thought I was 'flaming georgous' which was a lovely compliment but kind of indicates that he might possibly be hoping for more at some point.

Me and my bright ideas for a social experiment (and I never did even let you lot choose did I?).

Well, I'm just going to have to 'fess up and tell him straight.

I'm hoping it doesn't mean the end of a budding friendship but the truth is that I've realised that I'm really not on the market for anything more just yet.

I have far too many other things on my plate right now and, although my bruises may have faded they are still there if you look closely.

*Apologies to anyone who now has Girl Talk running through their heads but the truth is:

'There are some things you can't cover up' .... ; )

4 comments:

Lou said...

Sarah

You went, you had a fab time, that is all that matters at this moment in time.

He is obviously a man of impeccable taste, and will more than likely be perfectly happy to nurture a friendship instead of a romance.

If there's no spark, there's no spark, but friendship is a wonderful thing as you know, and good friends are hard to come by, so my advice would be to be honest and upfront, and see where the friendship leads you.

At least you got out and it gave you something else to occupy your head for a while, and that is a good thing!

Just for kicks, I would google him if you haven't done so already, see if he is who he says he is or if he is someone deliberately trying to be someone else - you know what I mean!!!

Love & Hugs
Lou :-)
x

hfbstest said...

I hope you don't mind me saying, but I've been following this series of posts and your honesty makes for compelling reading. I am a bit confused about brands of scantiness though...:-)

Kelloggsville said...

I'd give him a bit longer yet. He won't really be the person you've seen so far on his scripted best behaviour. Wait until you've seen the real him and still don't feel it before blowing him out the water.

Sarah Mac said...

Google him Lou? Haha, could do although he'd have to be a pretty convincing liar not to have tripped himself up.

He is such a nice guy, I would like him as a friend so we shall see where this goes. x

Of course I dont mind hfbstest, it's always great to know that someone is enjoying/interestedted in the things I write.

My brand of scattinesss?

Well, I guess it's the kind that seems to attract the ridiculos. I tend to say things without thinking them through sometimes and 'things' seem to happen to me. As it says at the top of my blog, I have a theory - my theory is that 'things' actually happen to everybody and they just either don't notice or they dont tell people about them. (I tend to cling on to that belief a little;).

I guess I just like to try and find the humour in situations and sometimes I may give the impression that I'm far scattier than I really am.

I know you are right K. I enjoy his company very much. I've only seen him a couple of times and it is probably far too early to make any kind of judgement but I can't see it heading in any direction other than friendship.

I'm all smoke and mirrors at the moment - looking for distractions. What I really don't want is to get someone else caught up in that.