I've got a few partly written posts in draft.
One is a straight down the line post about my Christmas - another is about those damned things that happened over the Christmas period. As we drift further away from the festive season I feel I'm losing momentum to finish them. After all, who wants to read about Christmas in February??
I think that both of them are worthy of being published so I really should get my act together and I've got some great photos to share with you all but, before I do, I've been feeling I should revisit a post I wrote just after Christmas which may have been a little ambiguous even (dare I say it AGAIN) a little drama queenish.
I was debating where I was going with my blog or even if I should continue with it. It was (as it often is with me) a bit of a knee jerk reaction to something that had happened.
I alluded to but didn't explain what had brought me to the way of thinking.
Well, this is what happened:
I wrote a post which included a photo of SD's beach buggy. I posted the same photo on Facebook.
SD has always known I write a blog, he knows that he appears in it on occasion. He doesn't want to read it, he has never asked what his pseudonym is and all he has ever asked is that I respect his privacy in that I don't post anything that could directly link back to him.
I failed in that promise...
The photo of the buggy was picked up by google images which linked it directly back to my blog.
A friend of his came across the image and therefore my blog.
Now, I know many people are quite open about their blogs and include links to posts on FB ect.
I don't. I never have. For me my blog is something separate to my every day life. Sure I have some friends who know about it and read it but very few. Most of the people I know in every day life have no idea I write it and that's the way I like it.
Anyway, SD came in for a little gentle teasing. I need to stress that this was a good friend of his, someone I consider a friend too. There was no malice intended, no intention to upset anyone and no one at fault other than myself for being thoughtless.
But SD was upset, he is a very private person and he felt exposed. He felt I'd let him down and he was right. Unintentionally I had!
Anyone who's been reading my blog for any time knows that there are some quite sensitive posts on here, things I don't want to necessarily share with people I may see on a daily basis (other than close friends of my own). It's kind of ironic that I'll happily publish quite intimate stuff about myself on occasion for relative strangers to read but I don't want people I know to see it.
So that's why I put the whole thing back into draft. That's why I'm still a little cagey about what I write. That's why I'm struggling to finish posts and hit the publish button. My little bubble has been breached and who's to say it wont be again?
Starting another blog and keeping it anonymous is one option but, as I've found, it's not always foolproof.
Fronting it out and carry on as normal is another, but again, as I've found, it's not that easy.
What I don't want, what I've never wanted is for my blog to hurt anyone in anyway.
I wonder if I'm making too big a deal over it. SD and I have talked about it. He knows how sorry I am. I know his friend picked up on the fact that it caused a little friction which wasn't his intention. Possibly he will never bother to look up my blog again, after all, it was a chance in a million that he found it.
So, here's what I've decided.
I will carry on writing here but I will be a little more mindful of what I write. I'll still tell my stories and post my photos but I'll be more careful and more respectful of the power of the Internet.
I will go back and take some posts out of draft at some point but some will stay hidden because they have served their purpose and that's where they belong.
Maybe in some ways is wasn't a bad lesson for me to learn.