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Monday, 28 January 2013

Five Sentence Fiction - Ringing

Lillie McFerrin Writes

What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.

This week: RINGING

It's been a while since I joined in with FSF so I'm a bit rusty but it's good to be back.

Sunlight shone through her closed eyelids turned her world into a dappled kaleidoscope of golden dots.

A soft breeze carried the promise of contentment on green scented breath.

The rhythmic slapping of water against wood lulled her with a soothing symphony as she drifted on the outgoing tide.

As an insistent buzzing shattered the calm a slight smile touched the corners of her mouth.

With a seamless motion, eyes still closed she reached down and dropped the phone over the side of the boat.

6 comments:

lizzie loodles said...

very picturesque. I love the peace and calm you have painted here and the ending is brilliant; what we'd all like to do with technology at times but are to scared to. xx

Jo-Anne Teal said...

Sarah, you've written a lovely scene, definitely calm :)). I can just imagine being the woman realizing it would be wonderful to have a 'ring free' existence. Well done.

K R Smith said...

When I first read this, I thought, "This is a poem." I read it again and it came out like this:

Sunlight shines through her closed eyelids;
The world a dappled kaleidoscope of golden dots.

A soft breeze;
Contentment on green scented breath.

The rhythmic slapping of water;
A soothing symphony on the outgoing tide.

An insistent buzzing shatters the calm;
A slight smile touched the corners of her mouth.

With eyes still tightly shut
The phone is dropped over the side of the boat.


Nice descriptions in your story - which makes it very easy to make it into a poem!

Feisty Cat said...

I am sure you can guess my favorite part. Definitely would like to drop my iPhone in the nearest large body of water. Come to think of it, I'd like a boat, too. And maybe ... never mind.

I've missed your fiction pieces and hope you keep writing them.

Josie Two Shoes said...

A great read, I am totally with her, drown the blasted cellphone and enjoy the blissful quiet and sense of peace! We all need to turn it off now and then!

Sarah said...

Thank you Lizzie - it's what Ive been trying to do metaphorically (even if I haven't quite had the courage to do it literally ;).

Thanks Jo-Anne - wouldn't it be great!

Really like what you've done with it KRS - I do write the ocassional bit of poetry but it tends to be very different in style to this (more of the Pam Ayres variety) but I like the idea of my words flowing like poetry.

I miss the fiction too FC and although I enjoy FSF I'm looking for somewhere for longer pieces too (you know how I like to waffle ;) - As ever there is a lot of me and the place I am/would like to be in my fiction

Yes we do Josie - sometimes you just have to switch off so that you can appreciate the things that really matter :)