Mary Mary Quite Contrary

How does YOUR blog post grow??

Mine's a kind of regurgitation of all the stuff in my head which is why it's often an incoherent stream of conscious (and occasionally unconscious) thoughts that don't necessarily link together.  There's loads of stuff that never makes it on to the blog simply because the thread gets overwritten by yet more stuff.

I often think that I must write about something only to 'loose' it in the maelstrom and so great blog fodder is gone forever.

In an attempt to cling on to these gems I sometimes send myself texts.  Most of which, when I come to re-read them, are complete gibberish and I've got no idea what I was banging on about.

Saturday night was Carnival night in Taunton.  If you've never seen a west country carnival then you really need to get down here some time in October and experience the madness.

I've probably become a little complacent having lived here for so many years and so, despite the fact that the carnival practically passes by my door I completely missed it this year!

I couldn't miss hearing it, the whole house was vibrating with the music and cheers as the floats went passed but I was busy getting ready for a night out.

I probably would have caught some of it if SD hadn't had me painting wheels until 7 o'clock at the farm.  Seriously, before SD I didn't know anyone painted wheels and yet, in the last few years I seem to have spent an inordinate amount of time doing just that!

Anyway, if you want to see a little of what you have been missing then take a look here (unfortunately you cant skip the ad).  Given that the video was shot by the local paper I was a bit disappointed by the quality but check out Mr and Mrs potato head at 2 mins 45 seconds - they are GREAT!  The Transformers float right at the end was also well worth seeing I've been told but the video doesn't really show it that well.

I am not going to comment on the quality or inadvisability of the numerous majorettes, you can judge for yourselves ...

Anyway, as usual, I'm digressing ...

So, Saturday night saw SD and I along with a crowd of friends at our local listening to a band.  The others had all spent the previous couple of hours stuffing their faces with an Indian so SD and I got the full benefit of second hand Bhoona with the odd Tikka belch thrown in.  D sat there perspiring gently as he attempted to digest vast quantities of naan bread and pilau rice, N repeatedly tried to untie SD shoe laces for some unknown reason, S sat demurely in a corner giggling to herself at some untold joke and Cornish M stared cross eyed into the middle distance.

Either they had peaked too early or we needed to catch up pretty quick!

Luckily, given the wheel painting and mad rush to get ready I hadn't had time to eat anything other than a sandwich so catching up was no problem on an empty stomach!

You know what?

My friends are HILARIOUS - seriously, I've NO idea why I don't realise this when I'm sober.  The more I drank the funnier they became and I had tears of laughter pouring down my face.  I suspect they probably found me really funny too although they all claimed the next day that I wasn't even there!

Well I WAS and I know I was because I sent myself a few texts ...

Like this ...

'Hot tub, wine glass' and 'Flaming Sambuca, funeral, fire'

Things I couldn't POSSIBLY have know if I wasn't actually there!

Now all I need to do is remember what the hell I was talking about ...

Actually, I can!

D and A have a hot tub in their garden and every now and then they invite friends around for a party and the hot tub is fired up.  Its best to avoid these parties like the plague.  Yes I love my friends, yes I love to party, yes, I even like the odd dip in a hot tub BUT, I really, REALLY don't want to combine all three.

Seriously ,friends half cut is bad enough, I don't need to see them half naked at the same time!

It does mean that I miss out on seeing A completely rat arsed in a hot tub slowly sinking under the water, wine glass in hand and then reappearing gasping for air and looking in wonder at her glass that has magically been refilled.  I also miss that classic moment where she joyfully empties that glass totally unaware that she is drinking a mixture of chlorinated water dubiously carbonated with curry filled noxious gasses and, to be honest, god know WHAT else!

A is a notorious part animal and really shouldn't be allowed out in public and definitely shouldn't be allowed to buy drinks and was entirely responsible for the Baileys and Tia Maria shots that sent me right over the edge on Saturday night.

SD thank god vetoed the Flaming Sambuca, mostly because he still has flash backs to the night he set fire to his face the night before a first date with a girl he was really keen to impress (not me!).  And D managed to dissuade A by reminding her of the last time she knocked over a Flaming Sambuca and the resulting domino reaction that set fire to the table at a WAKE!

Cornish M makes me laugh, he's one of those people who get more distant the more they drink.  By the time we met up on Saturday he was practically in Dorset!  He sat quietly on the edge of the circle occasionally laughing at a joke someone had made 10 minutes before which was GREAT because then we all got to laugh at it (and him) for a second time!

N was completely out of control but then he is when he's sober so it's really hard to tell the difference.  In between trying to untie SD laces he spent some time stroking his leg hair (SD' that is - SD wears shorts for at least 8 months of the year) and then moved on to the hair on his head (SD's again).  Really SD SHOULD know better than to sit opposite N!

'It's really soft' he said, 'how DO you get it so glossy?'

'I'll bet you use Timotei ...'

'No he doesn't' piped up D.

'He only uses the really expensive stuff, PANTENE - geddit?  PANTENE - PAUND TEN'.

D creases up at his own joke ...  Everyone else follows suit ....

Five minutes later Cornish M chuckles softly, 'paund ten' that's a good one ...