Linking up with Maxabella for The Weekend Rewind.
Sometimes I'm like an (almost) adult version of that toddler who, when confronted with the open jar of Nutella shakes their chocolate smeared face in total denial.
I had thought it would be hard to top dyeing my daughter blue but it seems that I am endlessly inventive when it comes to new ways of making a complete arse of myself
YOU KNOW WHAT I DID DON'T YOU?
Yep, Miss Mac decided she wanted to dye her hair again and this time we thought we'd give natural henna a go.
Off we to the local hippy shop which is the only place in town you can still buy it and came home and mixed it up.
That stuff is DISGUSTING!! It's looks and smells like cow shit after the cow has spent several days gorging on new grass.
Obviously I only realised it didn't come with gloves after mixing it up but, I am nothing if not ingenious and pulling out a couple of doggy poo bags from the drawer I popped them over my hands and started work.
That paste not only looks and smells like shit it's actually really hard to get to stick onto hair and every time I tried to smooth it through my emergency 'gloves' slid off so I ditched them.
After all, if I washed my hands straight away after I'd finished it would be FINE ..... Wouldn't it ....
I left Miss Mac in the bathroom proving (or whatever it is henna does) and went into the kitchen to washed the sludge off my hands. My scream of horror alerted her to the fact that not all was well.
She rushed into the room looking somewhat reminiscent of a conehead due to the fact that I'd also forgotten to buy a showercap to put over her hair while it developed and so instead I'd wound half a roll of clingfilm around her head (I told you I was ingenious didn't I?) to find me waving around hands like an Oompa Loompa.
This photo doesn't even do it justice! 36 hours later and my hands are still a pale tangerine and my nails are (according to a kind 'friend') the colour of old wee!
Miss Mac realised that drastic measures were needed to stop me hyperventilating and, reaching for the cupboard she pulled out a packet and offered me:
FECKING JAFFA CAKES!!!
While I sat mindlessly shovelling chocolate into my mouth she disappeared back into the bathroom. After a while I decided that it was (toddler like - she IS my daughter) far too quiet in there so I went to investigate.
Having seen how effectively I'd managed to dye myself she decided to use the left over paste to give herself henna tattoos ALL OVER HER HANDS. Fortunately there are only a couple of days left of term so she's unlikely to be excluded from school and if anyone questions her hand art well, Diwali started yesterday didn't it ...
I think a few more days scrubbing might get my hands almost back to normal but my nails are a lost cause but, because I like to think of every cloud as having some kind of lining I remembered that they also sell this great mirrored nail varnish in the hippy shop we bought the henna in so I'm just going to have to go and buy some aren't I?
nb Miss Mac HATES her new hair colour which is just bloody typical isn't it?