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Friday, 3 July 2015

Confessions Of A (non) Blond

Seriously, there are times when I'm genuinely shocked to look in the mirror and discover that I'm not a natural blond!

No offence to all those natural blonds out there who are FAR more intelligent and switched on than me.

Take yesterday for instance.

First thing in the morning I decided to take a few macro shots of the flowers in the garden.

Everything was going well and I got some great photos.

About 5 before my camera announced that the internal memory was full ...

Now I promised SD when he bought me this camera for Christmas that I would read all the stuff that came with it so that I really knew what I was doing and could use it to it's full potential ...

Yeah well ...  Ummm ...  I WILL ... Someday ...

I was completely thrown - it wasn't SUPPOSED to be saving photos to the camera - it was SUPPOSED to save them to the SD card!

I dug out the leaflets etc and started to flick through them.

Apparently the memory status is set in the Still Picture Capture Mode and you can choose where to store your pictures (SD card or internal memory) in this mode.

What it DOESN'T tell you is how the fuck you GET into this mode!!!

I pressed EVERY button - went through EVERY option - twiddled EVERY knob and ...

No effing Still Picture Capture Mode  with the little icon to allow me to toggle between modes!!!

It's Miss Mac's prom tonight and I HAD to get this bloody thing working!

I did the only thing I could do.

Hopped on my bike with the camera and shot down to the London Camera Exchange and threw myself on their mercy begging for help!

After a little head scratching and lots of questions that I didn't understand and couldn't answer because apparently it should automatically revert to saving to the SD card each time it's switched on the lovely man opened the camera and, looking slightly amused, informed me that the WAS no effing SD card in the damned thing!

Ah ...

Ok, well I MIGHT have removed it to copy some photos onto the laptop and I MIGHT have forgotten to put it back in but why didn't it just bloody TELL me that there was no SD card?

WHY did it have to scare the bejeezus out of me like that??

What is WRONG with these manufacturers that they don't factor in complete cretins like me???

Anyway, the nice man and I had a little laugh about it and agreed that it could happen to anyone ...  and I left the shop feeling like a bit of a prat and went back to my bike where I discovered I couldn't find the key to unlock it.

I checked my bra ...

WHAT ...???

Wasn't there ...

Checked my bag ...  Nothing ...

For good measure I emptied my bag onto the pavement - I accumulated a heap of receipts - some slightly used tissues - odd bits of loose change - a button and two teaspoons but NO bloody key.

Perhaps I'd put it down on the counter in the shop ...

Tail between my legs I went back to the shop.

No key on the counter, nothing on the floor - I emptied my bag AGAIN at the kind man's insistence all over his counter.

He didn't (I am pleased to say) ask me to explain the teaspoons (because I can't ...) - he did seriously consider my suggestion that I may, in my distressed state, have inadvertently EATEN the bloody key - he finally suggested (very kindly) that I leave ...

I went back to give my bike one last kicking before leaving it there and walking home when I noticed something ...

I'd left the damn key in the lock all along!

So yes, on the outside I may be a redhead (no mater what colour I TRY to dye my hair) but on the inside I AM indelibly blond ...


















6 comments:

Mike @ A Bit About Britain said...

Seems a little unfair on you - and blondes. Do you find time rushing by? I just don't know what's happening to 2014. And anyone can make a mistake, as the hedgehog said to the hairbrush.

Sarah said...

Ha ha - you are TOO kind Mike and yes, very unfair to blonds. I haven't got a clue what's happening with time right now - someone seems to be fast forwarding it randomly and not telling me ...

Emma Kate at Paint and Style said...

Hehe! I'm a natural blonde and sympathise with your plight. The other day I had to do something in Microsoft word and was feeling kind of clever as I knew how to work it and everything, but then I had to turn off the computer to go to pick up my daughter and I didn't know how to save it. My husband was away and he's my technical support guy. My daughter was at school and she'd have been able to tell me. I thought about calling the school office as surely they'd know but on second thoughts, not really what they're there for! In the end I called a friend whose husband tried to help but I didn't know what he was on about. I pretended to understand and had a cunning plan of copying and pasting all my work in an email to myself!! I'm clearly a genius after all. xx

Sarah said...

I'm glad it's not just me who pretends to understand stuff that they clearly should Emma and I think you are a genius to think of emailing it to yourself! xx

Jerry said...

I'm glad that I am not the only one! Just yesterday I stormed through the house, into the garage and searched the car, snarled at my wife that someone had stolen my glasses. She stared straight at me and gently informed me that I was wearing them!

Enjoyed this.

Sarah said...

Ha ha, thank you Jerry - isn't it infuriating though when someone calmly points out what a prat you've been - you are not alone, it happens to me ALL the time :-)