Never Admit He May Be Right (unless it's somewhere he will never read it!)

I've appointed SD towel monitor in this house.

Actually, I've appointed him towel AND toilet roll monitor!

To be perfectly honest it's a self appointed errm 'appointment' ...

SD is obsessed I tell you!!!

I've mentioned before that he thinks towels work on a kind of rota system.

Clean, in use and used and I DO understand the theory behind it, honestly I do I just don't necessarily think it's a sound theory!

I like MY towel clean - I do not wish to use a USED towel when I climb all shiny and new from the shower.

I do not buy into this (predominantly) male thing of sniffing items to check for freshness.

If you feel the need to sniff it then it ain't clean!!

If you asked SD he could tell you the exact position and colour of each 'in use' towel in the house.

Large blue towel - hanging on the back of the bathroom door (where it will NOT dry properly due to not being spread out).

Large white towel - hanging over banister where I will brush against it as I climb the stairs and it will then slowly slide off and fall down the stairs as I reach the top forcing me to go back down to pick it up and re-hang it and forget why I was going upstairs in the first place.

Small pink towel - hanging over spare room door so every time I pull the door shut it bounces open again.

Small blue and white striped towel (no, I do not do matching sets of towels ...) - hanging over my bedroom door (see above).

Invariably when I have a shower I choose a clean, fresh one from the pile in the basket in my bedroom and it drives SD nuts.

'You have 'in use' towels' he wails - 'what's wrong with using one of the ones festooning your house in various stages of dampness and freshness???'

Well, I think you answered your own question there don't you SD?

He's also obsessing about the amount of toilet roll Miss Mac and I go through at the moment.

Actually, we possibly DO go through an excessive amount but it's a girl thing!

Apart from the obvious toilet roll is used for all manner of things female related.  I never remember to buy tissues so if I want to blow my nose then - toilet roll.  I want to take off my makeup but forgot to buy wipes - toilet roll.  I clean the toilet and want to wipe the seat etc - toilet roll.  I spill conditioner, hair dye, moisturiser etc on the bathroom floor - toilet roll.

I use toilet roll for a multitude of things.

I would of course use kitchen roll for many of those things if SD weren't obsessed with that too!

I spill some water and reached for the kitchen roll.

'STOP' shouts SD - 'why waste kitchen roll when you have perfectly good used towels about to go into the washing machine that you could mop the water up with?'

I drop an egg on the floor and reach for the kitchen roll.

'STOP' he yells - 'Clean it up with the sponge thing under the sink, don't waste kitchen roll'.

I clean the kitchen counter and reach for the kitchen roll to wipe it dry.

'For god's sake - why are you drying the counter when if you leave it it will just dry by itself?'

I've yet to discover anything SD feels warrants the use of kitchen roll.  Perhaps he feels it should just stand in the corner of the kitchen and be worshipped or something ...

I hinted the other day that SD might just have a touch of OCD.

He puffed up to twice his original size in righteous indignation.

'I do NOT have OCD' declared the man who does not own a SINGLE odd sock, who turns clothes inside out and does up all the zips, buttons AND empties the pockets before putting things in the washing machine, the man who can lay his hands on obscure bits of paperwork from 7 years ago when a government department demands he produce them, the man who sorts his DVD's by gendre, director, title and date, the man who, if he has suggested watching a film at 8:30 and happens to be ready by 8:20 will find another job to do for 10 minutes, the man who writes list and ticks things off as he does them and transfers anything undone to a new list- 'you are just totally chaotic and disorganised!'

Contemplating 11 clean towels blowing on my washing line while the only remaining ones in the basket are the nasty scratchy ones I wont use, the yet again empty cardboard loo roll and kitchen roll holders and the bits of tissue paper adorning my collection of solitary socks in the washing machine, the pile of DVD's, some just empty cases and some with the wrong film in the box in the shaky pile next to my TV, I have to concede:

He MAY just have a point ...