For this weeks WoW Gill has handed the reins to Allison over at The Fibro. Allison is a freelance writer and her dream is to be a novelist, she has given us a writing prompt: the first line from her current read, The Untamed Bride, by Stephanie Laurens. The book is a Romance and thus, the theme this week is Romance:
"I can't stress how important it is that we behead this fiend."
When he looked at her quizzically she realised that she’d unwittingly uttered the sentence aloud.
‘It’s a figure of speech’ she said with a soft sigh, ‘a metaphor’, so afraid that the person who
understood her better than anyone would fall at this hurdle.
Afraid that he hadn’t truly thought this through, had only recognised the difficulties and had lost sight of the future and all the joy it could bring. That he had closed his mind to the possibilities. That the person who meant everything to her had switched off emotionally from her.
Surely he couldn’t just walk away now, there had to be a way to make him see.
Do you remember she began only to be silenced by the look in his eyes. Of course I remember said the look, do you think I could ever forget?
Every word seemed so important, but the words in her mind were jumbled so scared was she that the ones she uttered might not be the right ones. That they might confirm to him what he thought he already knew.
And so, she settled for the ones that she knew to be true.
Every word seemed so important, but the words in her mind were jumbled so scared was she that the ones she uttered might not be the right ones. That they might confirm to him what he thought he already knew.
And so, she settled for the ones that she knew to be true.
'Then be with me' she said 'because anything else is unimaginable'.
“You make me understand how wonderful it is for little lizards when they find that one special rock that's perfect for sunning themselves on. You make me lizard happy”
18 comments:
Go you Sarah... I think if I was given that first line, what would ensure would be reams of how and why we would have to behead the fiend, and romance would be the furthest thing from my mind...I guess that is why I am not a novelist, and only write about what I know to be true.
You're good tho - the grammar isn't perfect, but the flow is great!
Lou x :-)
You're right Lou, the grammer is a bit all over the place. It all came out in one big splat (NOT very romantic:). I have to confess though, I don't do fiction either and this isn't. x
Ah well that's why it came across to me so well then if it isn't fiction. The best stuff never is.
:-)
I like the idea of this daydreamer muttering such random things aloud accidentally!
I agree about the grammer, but that is the whole idea of timed stream of consiousness prompts, isn't it?
Love the whole concept, very swoon-worthy!
Yep, what Madmother said. These exercises are about getting thoughts and ideas out on a page.This is just what you have done. Your title drew me in, I have to say!
xo
I have an embarrassing tendency to do that Megan. It's usually the random rubbish that pops into my head while the important things I find far more difficult to say.
Thank you Madmother. There may be another chapter some day.
I didn't have a title to start with Gill, I borrowed it from the quote but it did seem the right choice.
Oh, and my comment that I don't do fiction sounds a little arrogant now I come to re-read it. It wasn't meant to be. I love reading fiction and really admire anyone who can write it. I've just always struggled to.
Sarah
You had me at "when"! LOL "Unimaginable' is such a perfect word for a romance piece. I loved it.
Anne @ Domesblissity
Thank you Anne. It is the right word isn't it. When you really love someone then being without them is unimaginable.
I loved this piece! I really want to join in with this WOW but I am a bit late for this week so I might link up next week. Your last line gave me goosebumps. x
Loved the last line! Don't worry about the grammar, the first draft is always a dirty draft and is more about capturing the feel. I get the feel from this!
Loving you! How perfectly overwrought and melodramatic. You've got the romance genre in you, chicky!
Gosh, with five minutes..I thought that was great! Grammar etc would be something to address later. ;)
I love the romance theme....fabulous!
I really liked the last line. Good going for 5 minutes!
Love the idea of being 'lizard happy' and I thought the emotion behind what you wrote came across really well.
Thank you so much Claire, I'll look forward to reading your's next week!
Thank you Allison, I can see all sorts of ways to improve how it reads but I'm really glad the essence of it came across.
Aww, thanks LWM, not sure how much of the 'inner me' I'd really want to spill but this one really matters to me.
Thank you Jodie, like I said, it all came out in a splat really like most of the stuff I burble on about (although I DO mostly try and tidy it up a bit:)
Thanks Jennifer, the last line is really the key, everything else is circumstance but that's from the heart.
Lizard happy is SUCH a great place to be Susan. I know, I've been there. Hopefully I will be again some day.
I thought you wrote romance beautifully! Any character who says random things accidently is a winner in my book...I do it all the time!
Your main character is very likeable: I agree with Lene, anyone who accidentally talks outloud is very loveable. And it's all about getting it out on the page.
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