Monday, 11 July 2011

“Sail away with me honey”

Write On Wednesdays

This weeks WoW writing exercise was to write down the first line of lyrics to your favorite song OR to turn on the radio and write down the first line of lyrics you hear. Set your timer for 5 minutes and write down the first words that come into your head after writing the prompt.

In one of those strange twists of fate, as I turned on the radio this morning, BEFORE reading about this weeks challenge my favorite song was playing:

Sail Away - David Grey ........

'Sail away with me honey'.

She kept her head bowed, focussing on their entwined hands.  She didn’t need to look up to know the expression on his face, to see the love in his eyes or the way his bottom lip was caught between his teeth.

She could hear the tremor in his voice, the pleading he tried so hard to hide, the ache that echoed in her own heart.

Have the courage the voice in her head screamed but she knew she wouldn’t listen.

‘I’m doing this for you’ she whispered.

She felt his fingers loosen in hers as slowly he pulled them from her grasp.

Her every instinct was to hold on but she was afraid.

‘Keep telling yourself that honey’ he said as he turned and walked into the future alone.


Rukzrockz said...

Lovely lyrics and a nice exercise Sarah :)

Could you please read this blogpost and leave a comment if you could spare a few moments..Thanks in advance


Sandra said...

I liked the lyric as well as the scene that has been picturized through this week's exercise.

Keep up the good work. I look forward to read such nice piece again next week.

Gemma @ My Big Nutshell said...


House of Prowse said...

Visiting via WoW.
Ooh a bit of romance.

Janelle said...

Gorgeous! Seeing as this was inspired by your favourite song, is this kind of scene something you have imagined before when listening to the song, or just this time?

Sarah Mac said...

This particular scene, just this time Janelle.

I've always loved the song even though it is about heartache and feeling powerless.

Its a haunting tune with beautiful lyrics.

I like to believe that if the person it was meant for heard it then maybe they would sail away together (if only metaphorically)

InkPaperPen said...

I like the first paragraph, that she knew he would have his bottom lip between his teeth. A nice detail.

I wonder why she has to let him go?

Thanks again for joining in with W.o.W!


Sarah Mac said...

Thank you Gill.

She didn't have to let him go, all she needed to do was to ask him to stay.

Anonymous said...

Love the lyrics Sarah, but I read then and hear Eva Cassidy in my head not David Grey, but then I always have liked to be different!

Lovely writing too - you definitely leave us wanting to read more!

Lou :-) xxx

Sarah Mac said...

I guess I could have reversed the roles Lou and referred to Eva version (which is beautiful) couldn't I ;-)

I think that if I were to write the full story that may well be the final chapter. I'd like to think it wasn't but I don't know, even if he couldn't stop loving her could he ever trust her again when she didn't have faith in him?

Jodie Ansted said...

Ooh, I liked this. Could feel the emotion of both characters.


Megan Blandford said...

Oh that's so sad :(

Lovely piece though!

Naomi said...

I love the detail of him biting his bottom lip.
I could feel the tension as I read too.

I'd thought I wanted to know why she was leaving... but then again I think it is better that this is not said. Makes the piece more alluring!

Wel done.

Anonymous said...

I liked the detail of lip between his teeth too. I also liked the struggle between wanting to say something, but not being able to.

life without mathematics said...

I like the emotion you so quickly established. I'm a sucker for lots of lovely sentiment.

Sarah Mac said...

Thank you Jodie. Like most of the things I write there is a personal element. I know how one of the characters felt but I can really only guess at the other.

It is sad Megan, writing it and reading it makes me pretty sad at the waste. Life is too short to be afraid to love.

You could be right Naomi I hadn't thought of that. In which case it could be the opening chapter couldn't it?

I think we've all been there Jennifer, so many things left unsaid. I don't plan on doing that anymore. Who knows, the right words could make the difference and you would always wonder if they might have if you didn't have the courage.

Thank you LWM, it is a bit straight in the deep end and definitely sentimental which is making me think that it really should be the opening chapter were it to go anywhere. I'd need to temper the tendency towards Mills and Boon just a little while hopefully keeping the real emotion.

Sif said...

Great tension in this scene! I love that you showed how they were feeling through details like the loosening of the fingers and the tremor in the his voice.

Sarah Mac said...

Thank you Sif, I'm glad you liked it.

E. said...

I really like this one. I liked the emotion and the descriptions. I thought she was sending him away to get on with her life. Then you wrote in the comments that she could ask him to stay. So now I feel conflicted. :( I thought she was strong. After reading I think she is stubborn.

Yes, I over think things. :)

Sarah Mac said...

You and me both E :)

The truth is she's probably both.