fudge

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

The Bangle - the final chapter of the first book

Write On Wednesdays



The exercise today is to write a story from your life. And remember: it has to be 100% true, but it doesn't have to be 100% of the truth. There's a difference. The keywords are: The Fight

Hmm, and I thought the character analysis was hard!

I'd already decided that this chapter of Rock Chicks life was drawing to a close.  There is only so much wallowing and angst people can cope with before they start to get bored with it and start to forget that she is multifaceted.

If you've been following the story of Rock Chick you will know it's based on me.  A mixture of fact and fiction (the ratio of fact weighing rather higher than the fiction).

I would have, in some ways, loved to make this final part of the story pure fiction.  Allowed Rock Chick to go out with a bang (metaphorically speaking of course ......... although ... ;).  A vlog was suggested, now THAT could have been fun!

I've written the post in the style of fiction but it is 100% true.  I touched on this particular evening in an earlier post and the events, thoughts and feelings happened exactly the way described below (although it may not be 100% of the truth):

                                                ..............................................

Crouching down on the damp sand, shielding the flame from the breeze blowing in from the sea she carefully lit the wick.  Gradually the flame took hold, burning brightly, filling the sky lantern with hot air.

Standing up slowly she held the metal ring at the bottom, watching it take shape, tugging at her hands, wanting to be set free.

‘Don’t forget to make a wish’.

She smiled. Wishing on the first star, a full moon, the soft puff of thistledown they used to call fairies as children.  One had drifted right into her hand as she walked along the canal.  If you caught one in flight and whispered your dreams before setting it free they would come true…………..

 But dreams are meant to be shared.

It was time to stop the daily fight of emotions. To stop the painful analysis.  To acknowledge that there were things she would never understand and that in trying to do so she was just hurting herself afresh every day.
She allowed the lantern to float away taking her wish with it high above the water. Watching as it got smaller and smaller until, like the closing of an eye, the tiny glow of light disappeared into the inky blackness.

Standing alone in the darkness she felt a mixture of emotions.  Sadness, regret, fear, loneliness. But at the same time there was relief, hope and a new respect for herself.
The sky was suddenly lit up with a multitude of coloured lights from the laser show on the pier.  They shimmered in the moist air, her very own aurora borealis dancing in the sky.
She turned away from the darkness and began walking, slowly at first, and then with more confidence towards the bright lights.

Towards the future.

16 comments:

House of Prowse said...

There is so much more I want to know.
I like the description "like the closing of an eye".
As if saying goodbye to the fight as well.

Stephanie said...

Lovely descriptive words! It sounds like you are letting go of something that kept you in the dark and you are now moving towards the light that captures your future.
Wonderful job!

Sarah Mac said...

Thank you both but I keep re-reading this post and there's something not quite right about it.

There are parts that I really like and parts that I don't.

The events are accurate, the sky latern, the lazer lights, the wishes.

But the thoughts, emotions and feelings ........ I've got it wrong somehow.

The real truth is that I can feel very differently on any given day. So far I haven't managed to find a way to deal with this that I'm either happy with or able to stick to. Maybe that's the real fight.

I think Rock Chick has a little way to go yet before I can write a true conclusion.

Lene said...

I love the darkness and light in this piece too. You have a real knack for beautiful descriptive writing, it is like you take the reader on a journey every single time.

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks Lene. It is kind of like a journey I never wanted to take.

A few wrong turnings along the way and I'm really not sure where or when it ends.

Sarah Mac said...

Just a quickie for Adam. If you read this, I can't comment on your post, it keeps saying java scrip void when I click on the comment box.

I did want to say that I thought It was briliantly written and conveyed the confusion and struggle so well. Yes, I did have to read it a couple of times but I think that added to it :)

therhythmmethod said...

Sarah, I think you start off strong. I love the image of the lantern tugging at you, wanting to be set free. Then it gets a little lost towards the end. In the comments you say you don't know where it goes from here - I think this shows in the piece.
Perhaps take out the ending and let this piece sit on the bench for a while. Your ending will find you.
Well done. Go Rock Chick. :)

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks Karen and yes, I think you may be right.

I didn't have a problem with describing the events but I think I was projecting again. Trying to give Rock Chick a strong ending.

I may well re-write this at a later date but I still think I'll retire this story for a little while and start something new next week.

InkPaperPen said...

Some good advice from Karen. I think you should continue with Rock Chick but it is always worthwhile letting a character or story rest for a while. Gives a new perspective. I loved the image of making a wish and your writing is beautifully descriptive as always. It just feels like there is more to this story?

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks Gill and hmmm, yes, like Karen I think you have hit the nail on the head.

I've tried to convince myself that the story has ended when it's not quite as simple as that.

Maybe what I do need to do is focuss on other areas of Rock Chicks life and leave this side to sort itself out in it's own time and in it's own way.

K.D.Storm said...

You have got me hooked on this character. You make me want to read more about her everythime you use her in a prompt and today is no different. Great job!

asampler said...

This drew me in and kept me for most of the piece. I loved the descriptions of the sky lantern & the thistledown, I felt I was with you. But the paragraph beginning, 'Standing alone..' was where I wandered. I think it's the difference between showing & telling. It's a hard balance, but you have great advice from Karen & Gill.

Sarah Mac said...

Thank you KD. I think I'll wait and see on this one. I'd like to show another side to Rock Chick (she has many) so, we'll see where the prompt takes me next week. There may be more RC or, possible something else :)

That is kind of where it all fell apart AS, it's not that it isn't the way it happened because it pretty much is but ..... hmm, hard to explain really. I guess it's not a true ending, life just isn't that simple.

Sif said...

As always, beautiful! I love that she walked toward the coloured lights - a play on an old cliche - clever! I can't wait to hear more about Rock Chic, I really hope this wasn't the end of her story.

Jodie Ansted said...

As always, Sarah - beautifully descriptive and the reader (me!) is left wanting more...

I think, if this was an actual book you were writing, then there would definitely be times you could walk away from it and think about it more before taking it further. Resting it. That's why WoW is quite challenging with a continuing story. You never know where it's going to go really until the day the prompt arrives in your Inbox. Think you're doing a GREAT job!

xx

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks Sif. It's not the end of the story, not even really an end to this part of the story but maybe a break from it. Hopefully Gills next prompt can take RC in a different direction for a while.

Thank you Jodie, it is a challenge. So far I've made the prompt work for the way I've felt about one area of RC's life but there are others so I'd like to look at them a little more. xx