Write On Wednesdays Exercise 11 - Take a Walk: "Come back home and write what you encountered. Try to write so that your sentences feel the way the walking felt." Let's toss the 5 minute sprint aside this week and instead take a lingering stroll through our exercise. Participants are encouraged to write a first draft (the point being to get it out on the page), then to go through and edit their piece before posting. We're aiming to get from one place to another, taking the reader with us - economically, gracefully, elegantly.
Lying back on the bed, eyes closed her hands linked across her stomach the pictures drifted through her mind.
It was an indulgence she didn’t allow herself often. A leisurely walk through happier times. A slide show of moments, thoughts and feelings. Gone but captured for ever in her very fibre.
Click
Click
That first look….. is it you? That first, tentative smile. That awkward moment ….. do we kiss? Do we hug?
I KNOW you, yet we've never met before.
Click
The first laugh. The first REAL smile. The first brief touch of a hand on an arm.
Click
The first kiss.
The rest of the world disappeared……..
It IS you ....
Click
The first real touch. Skin on skin ... Burning … searing … branding … owning.
Click… Click... Click …...........
The profile, tears that never fell captured in the light from the street. Head softly shaking ….. No.
Click
Click
The last touch. Foreheads pressed tightly together. Eyes downcast. No words.
Tears seeped from beneath her lashes unchecked. Sliding down her face into her hair.
Her dreams had taken a different path leaving her standing alone. Her future as yet unknown lay around the next corner.
20 comments:
Wow! That was powerful. I loved it :)
Makes me think of looking through those old red picture viewers with the click... click...
Intriguing...who are they? Does it follow on from previous weeks?
I loved this, Sarah! So creatively written. So powerful and real. I love the click, click. It kept me remembering where she was and what she was doing - remembering. Love, love, love it!
Such a powerful, moving piece. Makes me want to know more...!
Very moving, I especially liked your burning searing branding owning description of how overpowering a first kiss can be!
I loved... "tears seeped from beneath her lashes unchecked...."
Absolutely beautiful. And a fresh take on the walk theme too.
I loved this. Beautiful take on the topic as well Sarah. Walking through memories and emotions...beautiful.
Zannix
Yay! You're back for WOW Sarah. Good to see you. And it was worth it too. Always love your writing.
Anne xx
Great that you managed to tie this piece in with the others. Seemed a part of it rather than forced. :)
Thank you Melissa :)
sjp - I remember those, that's exactly the kind of image I wanted to portray, so glad it does.
It's taken a little out of sequence HoP but yes, it does fit in with previous weeks. It's a little bit of an insight into what's made Rock Chick the person she is today.
Thank you Kim H, really glad you liked it :)
Thanks Megan. There is more. I haven't written it yet but it's in my head.
It is quite emotional MoaSO. I think there are some people that come into our lives that leave a lasting mark long after they've gone.
Thanks Todd, guess we've all been there at some time, sometimes you have to let the memories out of the box.
Thank you Jayne. This post was half written before Gill gave us the prompt and although it's a different take on it, it seemed to fit.
Thanks Zannix. I suppose I made the prompt work for what I wanted to write and memories are a little like a walk through the past.
I think Im back properly Anne. It's only been a few days but I miss thinking about my blog, there are things I want to share. Now Facebook? Hmmm, can't say Ive missed that so much :)xx
Thanks Adam. It does tie in although I may not have put it where it is at the moment. I guess it ties in best with the charachter analysis really and how the things that have happened have shaped her.
That was a creative take on "walking" - walking through her minds eye. Beautiful words and images - very simple and powerful in their simplicity!
I love how you've used the word click - I like repetition like that in writing. Love the different take on a walk too.
Those clicks pack a big punch. Strong piece, and I agree with the other commenters, you've put your own spin on this week's topic and come up with a very emotive, sensual piece. Awesome stuff Sarah!
Fabulous as always, Sarah. Loved this: 'A slide show of moments, thoughts and feelings.'
I felt the heartache at the end there. The goodbye.
Beautiful.
Jodie's right. It's a slideshow of different emotions which were conveyed through beautiful use of words. Nice work!
Smiles,
Andy
I love the Click too. It's effective and adds to the story and flow. I feel like you are becoming stronger and stronger each week, Sarah - especially with your use in words. Very economical and yet it has a lot of feeling in it. One of my favorites from you.
I am sooo impressed that you joined in with WoW despite having a blog break. Love the dedication to the writing group as well as t, your own writing and your story.
Gill x
Thank you all. I think it's coming to the end of this part of Rock Chicks story. There's only so much living in the past she can do before she has to move on so I think one final part for now and at some point the story of her future. :)
The blog break was short and sweet Gill, I miss it far to much to give it up. x
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