Friday, 19 September 2014

Plums, Bums And Other Stuff

Yesterday afternoon SD and I walked into town for a coffee, it's something we often do, kind of like a 'date night' but without the dressing up or flash dinner ...

Hmmm ...

I like dressing up and flash dinners every now and then ...

Ok, I'm over it.

Anyway, how many flash restaurants would offer you a shot glass of Smarties with your coffee?

The other thing I like about The Shed is that they run a loyalty scheme.  It's a family run business and they are so friendly and chatty as well as making great coffee and you can sit in the sun near the river and just chill out.

Every time you buy a coffee you can get them to stamp your card and then, when you have collected 6 stamps you get the 7th coffee free.  It's just a small thing and we would go there anyway but it's a nice touch (just like the smarties).

The only thing is that SD and I keep losing the cards.  Now for me that's nothing, I lose all sorts of things all the time which I think is pretty normal but other than these elusive cards SD rarely looses anything and it bugs the hell out of him.

On the way into town I asked if he had the card.

'Yep' he said pulling it out of his wallet.

'That cards only got 2 stamps on it' I pointed out, 'shouldn't we have more than that by now'?

'I've got another one at home with 4 on' he said, next time I'll bring it and we will get them transferred, '4 plus 2 equal 6 so we can have the free one then if you like'.

'4 plus 2 equals 6 ...? - you can tell you've spent all day in a school, I expect you've been absorbing all that knowledge by a process of osmosis or something ....'

'I'll have you know I have a brain like a small planet!'  he replied indignantly.

'You don't really do you ... ?'

'Do ...!'

'Really? - which one??' I asked.  'Pluto?  Mars - or maybe you're talking about ...  Uranus ...'

SD pinched me - honestly, where did he learn to do that??  He doesn't even have any sisters!

Later we drove over to the farm, I'd thought we were all done with the plum picking although there are loads left on the tree it is very old and not very safe but SD wanted to give it one last shot rather than wasting them.

On the way we had to go around the new roundabout near my house.  This roundabout and an adjoining new bridge across the river have been in construction for about a year now causing total chaos.  The roundabout is HUGE, seriously, it's the size of a small country!

It's now at the stage where the construction is complete but so far the centre of it is just mud.

In the middle was a large mound of earth.

'You know what we should do' I said.  We should sneak out at night and build a big mud castle in the middle of it, people would come from miles around, maybe even all over the world to marvel at this amazing construction that had just appeared overnight.  It would be like a crop circle or something and nobody would know who had done it'.

'Except for several hundred people who would see you as they drove past ...'


Well, yes ...  Ok, maybe I hadn't really thought it through, burst my bubble why don't you - but in THEORY it's a GREAT idea isn't it??

So we got to the farm and this time I was determined that SD WAS going to get a photo of me up a ladder (Just to prove to Ann that it really DID happen) and I'd even worn a specially selected 'plum' outfit for the occasion!

I was really, REALLY high, at least 7 rungs up! ;-)

I told SD that you couldn't really tell how high up I was from that photo so he decided to take a couple more snaps, trying to get my 'best side' he said.

Want to see what he got??

The answer to that is probably NO, you didn't and yes, my bum is hanging out yet again! 

But aren't you impressed that I colour coordinated my outfit to the task??


Brighton Pensioner said...

Like any other sensible man, I refuse to make any comment on the grounds that whatever I say will be wrong.

Sarah said...

Fully understand BP, men are TERRIBLE with colours, you possibly struggle to tell the subtle difference between plum and fuchsia or even cerise so a 'no 'comment avoids any embarrassing faux pas ...

Mike @ A Bit About Britain said...

I'm with BP. It's all a bit much at my time of life.

Sarah said...

I suspect it's a bit much at any time Mike but oh well, it's out there now ...