Friday 27 July 2012

Such A Perfect Day

Every now and then you get one of those days where everything just seems so right in the world.

We've been having some beautiful weather here in the UK and I've been lucky enough to be able to take full advantage of it.

There have been trips to the beach, walks along the canal, lazing in the garden watching my washing blowing in the breeze and time spent with the people I love the most.

Yesterday ...  yesterday was a halcyon day.  Nothing jarred, nothing hurt, nothing made me feel 'if only', 'I wish', 'I miss' ...

Everything was there, all the elements came together, all the ingredients that combine to make my happiness drifted through the day in a shimmering haze of heat.

I know, I know,  this is all a little poetical for me ;-)  Normally this kind of stuff is reserved for my fiction but I haven't been writing much of that lately, maybe I should ...

Today I woke up and that feeling is still there. 

I'm not longing for yesterday, I'm just glad for it's existence.  I feel peaceful, happy, content.

Of course my life isn't perfect, yes there are things I'd like to change.  Somethings I can, some I can't ...  Somethings may always be beyond my grasp and somethings I may have lost forever but the time for dwelling on that is past and I'm grateful, I'm happy for what I do have.  For the people who are in my life because they chose to be.

Because for them I am part of the happiness process.

Do you think I may have had a little bit too much sun? ;-)

Ha ha, well, that's entirely possible so I'm going to stop waxing lyrical here and tell you about yesterday.

I met a friend for lunch, someone I love very much.  Someone who is very important to me and who I hope will always be in my life.

Someone I nearly lost just over a year ago.

You may remember this post.  I wrote it on a very dark day.  A day when I couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel.  That darkness stayed with me for a very long time, casting it's shadow over my life, pulling me into the darkness at every turn.

It's lifted, it's softened, it's dissipated but not quite dispersed.  I think it will always be there as a gentle reminder of the way things were, the way things could have been BUT!

It's ok, it really is.  We find new ways.  You cannot maintain that level of unhappiness and despair without destroying yourself and I am NOT destroyed.

My bruises have faded, my wounds have healed.

The faint silvery lines of the scars remain and I'll always carry them and I'm glad of that, I'm glad of the reminder, it's a part of me.

God, I'm doing it again aren't I?  this isn't the way this post was supposed to go, I'm supposed to be telling you bout my perfect day dammit!

Ok, well, it WAS perfect.

I met my friend, I took all the good things from that meeting.  Things have changed but things remain the same.  I walked away happy for the friendship we still have and not sad for the friendship we had lost.  I still love my friend and you know what, I think they may still love me too so maybe the only thing we really 'lost' were the 'what if's' the 'maybe's' and who knows if they would ever have brought us what we need.

And so, to the rest of my perfect day.

SD, as I've mentioned before, is a teacher.  The really good thing about that is that he now has a whole 6 weeks off for the Summer and the even better thing is that he chooses to spend much of that time with me and, (yep, it gets better!) we love to do the same things.

Got to be the beach hasn't it ...  ;-)

Yesterday afternoon we went to Hive.  A beautiful little beach a few coves around the coastline from Lyme Regis.  It's made up of tiny pebbles rather than sand and it's tucked away from the main road which means it doesn't tend to get quite so busy as some of the other beaches.

It's beautiful, look!

Umm, yes, dead fish ;-)  They had been washes up in a row along part of the beach - not sure this photo shows quite have pretty they were.

endless expanses of sea, cliffs and empty beach

slightly windswept but yes, it was actually warm enough to swim!

 Then we drove along a couple of coves to West Bay - I LOVE West Bay where we stumbled into a raft race.  More English madness where some very strange people fashion homemade rafts out of just about anything, I'm not kidding, could literally be anything.  Throw them in the river, jump into them (usually sink) and race.

Lots of dressing up, mostly men dressed as women but there were a few cavemen, etc
Like I said, mostly they sank!

chappie on the far right made a very improper suggestion as to what I might like to give him in return for a photo (I THINK he was joking ;)

We then bought the most amazing lime and chili fishcakes and chips and sat on the sea wall watching the sun go down.

A truly perfect day.

More madness, less maudlin' coming very soon ;-)

Monday 23 July 2012

Alas poor Figgy ...

'Link up your funniest post' she said - 'Make me laugh' ...

God Robo - don't you know I'm a self depreciating English girl and I'm not allowed to admit that I might be funny sometimes??

So, well, yeah, I was going to link up 'F*ck, I've killed the cat' but I thought you might find a story a bout a dead hamster more amusing .....

Linking up with Robomum for The Lounge this week.

There's nothing worse than thinking the hamster's dead and then discovering that the hamster is indeed dead ...

Now I've been here once or twice before so when Miss Mac made the sad pronouncement I was ever so slightly sceptical.

I went upstairs and together we contemplated that fat little hamster for a while.

"Poke him Mum, see if he moves"

"No, YOU poke him, he's your hamster".

"You poke him"

"I'm not poking him!"

"Well, I'M not poking him"

"I'm a kid, you can't make a kid poke a dead hamster ..."

Bugger it, she had a point.

I poked him ...  He didn't move ...

I still wasn't convinced.  If I'd buried that bloody hamster EVERY time he was dead ...

"Let's just leave him for a bit and see what happens".

"Mum, Figgy is dead, all that's going to happen is he is going to carry on lying there being deader!"

In exasperation she picked him up and turned him over.


Poor Figgy remained curled up in a stiff little ball of fluff, his little hamster teeth grinning at me as though to say, "I told you I was dead". This time it seemed he wasn't messin' with me.

It was time for another hamster funeral ...

Unfortunately I'd broken my spade whilst ...  well, you don't really need to know how I broke it. Anyway, I had a quiet word with SD who promised to bring one round later and even offered dig the hole for me (although that may have been nore in the interests of keeping his spade intact).

We chose a spot in the garden under a bush and SD being careful not to dig up road kill (dead bird - another story ...) set to work whilst Miss Mac and I pondered on the best material for a hamster coffin.

I like to be a little inventive with such things so Rascal, (Miss Macs first dead hamster who was a ginger colour) is buried in an orange mobile phone box (geddit?? ).  Sir Frederick Fluff Balls was buried in an (empty) coco pops box (coco pops look a lot like hamster shit).

We rifled the recycling to see what we could use.  SD having finished digging the hole came to 'help'.  What about this he asked pulling out the cardboard inner from an empty kitchen roll.

"SD, I am not burying the fucking hamster in that, it'll look like a bloody Christmas cracker!!!"  Added to which Figgy was slightly larger than the cardboard tube and Im buggered if Im going to try to shove a stiff hamster up a hole that's too small (say NOTHING ok, this is a VERY serious matter!!).

Eventually we fashioned a box from part of a cardboard box with lots of sellotape, filled it with sawdust, laid poor Figgy in it and taped it up.  We sat for a moment, each thinking out different thoughts when that fucker Bear (our cat of little brain) jumped onto the table, skidded and sent poor Figgys coffin flying!  Lots of shouting scared the crap out of that bloody cat and he shot outside whilst I reverently picked Figgy up and put him gently back on the table.

"Mum. have you got him the right way up???"

Ummm, well actually I didn't have a clue, we may well have buried Figgy upside down but I assured Miss Mac that I did indeed have him the right way up and off we went to the garden to finally lay Figgy to rest.

You know what I said about the shouting scaring the crap out of Bear ...?

Well it seems hadn't. Well, not quite ALL of it anyway.

That bastard cat was busy excavating his bowels very loudly and very pungently in poor Figgys newly dug grave!

I will never forgive SD for not appreciating the solemnity of the occasion and laughing until he cried.

Miss Mac will never forgive either of us for not appreciating the solemnity of the occasion and laughing until we cried.

Figgy hopefully doest give a stuff that the three of us did not appreciate the solemnity of the occasion and laughed until we cried.

And Bear, well, I have decided that I shall have him creamated when his time comes and (in an act previously only reserved for ex lax) scatter his ashes in a cat litter tray so that he may be crapped on by a multitude of cats!

Thursday 12 July 2012

Exposing Myself To The Neighbours (again!)

There's nothing worse than thinking the hamster's dead and then discovering the hamster is indeed dead!

This morning I discovered Figgy in his wheel.  the wheel is sealed and fits to the rotostack with entry by means of a tube.  How the fuck are you supposed to get a dead hamster out?

It's pretty hard to tell if a hamster is dead or just sleeping so I span the wheel a bit just to check.  A live hamster probably would have woken up rather than just thudding around (in a solid fat hamster kind of way ...).

The only solution seemed to bury poor Figgy in his wheel which is kind of gross as it's not biodegradable so next year Id probably be accidentally digging up his decomposed remains in a bright yellow plastic coffin.

Anyhow, turns out Figgy isn't dead at all, phew! 

This is supposed to be a post about my frankly hilarious (judge for yourselves and then lie and tell me I'm right ;) and completely ignored Twitter tweets (seems there should be a better way of putting that).  I re posted a couple on FB because, well because I require the adulation and gratification which was sadly lacking in Twitter land. For good measure I may throw in a couple of FB status updates that didn't make it as far as Twitter and maybe just one or two random thoughts that ought to really just stay in my head.

So to start you off, here are the tweets that the twits ignored ...

'Hormones may turn me into a complete bitch at times but boy they get the house clean! (and, if I don't want to clean it, I just break it')

'Arse, gloss paint - elbow, emulsion - yes doubters, I KNOW the difference! '

'Without GHD's my hair would probably qualify for it's own postcode! ' (this one had previously appeared on FB but given the state of my hair on that day was worthy of a rerun)

'just looked in the mirror - it gonna be another day of relying heavily on personality and mouthwash - mostly mouthwash to be fair ... '

F*ckity F*ck!

Wrote a blog post - accidently deleted it - I'll be back when I've finished kicking myself!

Tuesday 3 July 2012

A Week With The Twits

Well, those of you who read my last post will know that I joined Twitter just over a week ago.

Why did it take me so long?  I guess I just felt I had enough things taking up my time and having a slightly addictive personality I wasn't sure it was a wise move.

Anyway, here I am, an expert on Twitter now so I thought it was time to share some pearls of wisdom with you all.

This was intended to be a humorous post about my experiences so far but I thought I'd show off a little and impress you all with what I've learned so far instead. (please feel free to correct anything I've got wrong and I will feel free to ignore you;).

Tomorrow I plan on posting something else Twitter related but quite different (another sleepless night for you K!)

1.  The first thing you need to know is that 99.9/100% of everything you write will disappear into a big black hole.  All those carefully thought out witty one liners gone, ignored, discarded, it's heartbreaking.

So, what to do about that?  Well, the simple answer is, duplicate!  Everything you put on Twitter you can also post on FB AND, if you have a blog, blog it too!    Of course that means that some lucky people might get to read it 3 times but hey, I'm WORTH reading 3 times!!! ;-)

2. Following - same as following a blog really.  You can follow the people you already know (many have links on their blogs) or you pick up people as you go along through retweets that catch your eye ect (more about retweeting in a minute).

Some people will follow you simply to get a follow back.  In my first 24 hours on Twitter I gained and lost a follower simply because I didn't follow them back.  How do I know that was the reason?  Well, they DM'd me (more about DM's in a minute).  Yep, he actually said 'I followed you but you didn't follow me back so stuff you!' I confess to a little 'lol' at that.

3. Retweeting or RT's - well, see something you like, want to pass on/share ect.  Hit the RT button and share it on your wall (or whatever the Twitter equivalent is called).  I'm pretty sure RTing is considered a huge compliment but as I've yet to experience it for myself I'm not sure (ref: point 1!).

RT can be very bloody annoying if you have someone who constantly retweets. You get obscure stuff from people you don't know and you have no idea what they are talking about.  Thanks to Lady Estrogen who wrote this great post just 48 hours after I joined Twitter (that woman is psycho or something) I discovered that you can turn off the retweets from individuals because yes I may want to hear your crap but no, I don't want to hear everyone elses ok.

4. DM's - Direct messaging.  A little like an email as it's a private message. Twitter still limits you to 140 characters which is very frustrating.   The other frustrating thing is finding them for the first time.  I had an email telling me I had a DM but there were no flashing lights or anything on Twitter directing me to it.  Then of course when I DID find it it was someone telling me to get stuffed, lovely ;-).

5. Conversations - I'm really struggling with this one.  Its all arse about face and I'm a bit thick so I struggle to follow them.  I should probably persevere but to be honest, its gonna have to be something I really want to read before I do.

What else .....  Oh yes!

Hash Tags - preface something with a # to kind of bookmark it.  You can use hash tags in a couple of ways (maybe more, I'm not sure).  You can use them to bookmark topics and anyone who wants to tweet on the same subject uses the same hash tag and then you can search on it for all related tweets and conversations.

You can also use them to inject a little humour - obviously this humour will be bypassed on the whole (see point 1) and if you over use you just become boring.

So far I've decided that I don't like Twitter more than FB where people actually listen and respond to me (did I just say I LIKED FB???) and I know I will never love it more than my blog BUT, it does have a place.  I have come across some people and blogs ect that I wouldn't have found otherwise and of course it's yet another stalking tool to add to my collection .... Hmmm, actually, THAT may not be such a good thing .....

Funnies tomorrow I promise (including the best of my totally ignored tweets ;)