Monday 31 October 2011

When the Music's Over - WoW

Write On Wednesdays

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 22 Select a piece of music that reflects the mood of writing you'd like to aim for. Press play. Start free writing. Write the first words that come into your head. When the music's over, so is the writing. I'd recommend finding out how long the song is before you start the exercise. You may feel cheated in your writing time if you pick a song by The Ramones. Of course, if you feel like writing a short, punky piece by all means, go for it!

Dropping the lip gloss and phone into her bag she reached for the boots.

As she slipped her feet into them the soft black suede molded to her calves and over her  knees, soft as velvet, as soft as the skin underneath ...

Her confidence grew with every step.  Every swing of her hips.  Every flick of her hair.

She was ready.

Ready to look the memories in the eye and gently kiss them goodbye.

At the tall glass door of the Cosy Club her confidence faltered slightly.

She wished he had chosen any place other than this.

So many times she had thought she was ready only to have the memories creep up behind her and steal her breath away.

Drawing in a deep breath of the chill night air she firmly pushed the door open.

Instantly she was transported back to that night.

His face.  His smile. His laugh ...  his touch ...

Sensory overload made her head spin.  Her hand reach out looking for support as the black wave of disbelief swept over her yet again.

Gradually the dizziness subsided and a rush of noise replaced the buzzing in her head.  People laughing, bottles being opened, drinks being poured.

A voice calling her name.

Through the crowd at the bar she saw him.

Smiling as though they were the only two people in the room.

Could a new  face overlay old memories ...

Tuesday 25 October 2011

WoW - 'I thought I saw'

Write On Wednesdays

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 20 Write the words " I thought I saw" at the top of your page. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Write the first words that come into your head after the prompt. Don't take you pen off the page (or fingers off the keyboard). Stop only when the buzzer rings! Do this exercise over and over if you wish. Write beyond 5 minutes if you like, you can link it up as an extra post.

I wrote a post earlier in the week for WoW but somehow it became corrupt so I removed the link.

Rather than re-write it I decided to do a totally different post (thank you to all who commented on the original, the comments were very much appreciated).

Ok, this is a little bit different and a little bit crude but it's designed to amuse rather than offend so hopefully that's what it will do.

If you have read this you will know that I played Bingo on Saturday night and no further explanation is needed.

Bingo Boobs

I thought I saw her bingo book
Lurking under there,
I didn't really like to look
It seemed so rude to stare.

Her chest was like a giant pillow
With room for several heads,
Across the table it seemed to billow
Enough for at LEAST two beds.

Where was that book? it was a farce
I felt I ought to say,
I just thank god it wasn't under her arse
Or we'd  have been there half the day!

I'd umm'd and ahh'd (and gestured too!)
And pointed at her bits,
So I shouted out (what else could I do?)


Time for TaP

It's that time again where I share my favorite blog post of the week.

TaP - Toast a Post is your opportunity, if you so wish, to join me in sharing a post that has caught your eye in the last week.

There are no rules. You don't have to follow me. You don't have to follow anyone else. You don't even have to send me chocolate cake (although feel free if the urge takes you).

Just link up a favorite post, NOT one of your own and take a look at some of the others.  Leave comments if you like and of course, let the person who's post you linked know as it's always nice to hear that someones enjoyed  what you've written.

Hmmm, assuming there ARE others?? (thank you Adam for linking last week :)

I've had a chat with a couple of people about linkys.

They are notoriously hard to get started and require lots of persistence and flogging which may possibly mean that this will just go back to me posting a link once a week in the near future.

Anyway!  My favorite post of the week was from a lady who says pretty much all the stuff no one else would dare.

She's lewd, rude and frequently crude and has me in stitches.

This may be one of your tamer posts Lady Estrogen but I think it's one that NEEDS to be shared!

Sunday 23 October 2011

Socks and hugs and sausage roll ...

Ok, so maybe not quite as catchy as the Ian Dury and the Blockheads song title but hey, I try!

Now, as I'm sure many of you live your lives vicariously through my mad social whirl* I thought you might like an update on my weekend activities.

Last night I played Bingo.

Yep, 'key of the door', 'legs 11', 'two fat ladies' ... etcetera, etcetera, etcetera ...

I have to say (and I am unleashing my inner bitch a little here)  that there did seem to be a rather large proportion of ... well, largely proportioned ladies there.

At this point I am reminded of Big D's words of wisdom:

‎'Judge not lest you judge not you ...... hmmm, yes, just consider that Mum!'. 

It's just as well they weren't judging a wet tee-shirt competition, I'd have been laughed out of the line up!!!

Never before has such a collection of ENORMOUS boobs been seen in such numbers in such a small place.  

(and never before has 'eye down' seemed quite so appropriate)

I can only assume that there must have been a row of wheelbarrows lined up outside in readiness for the trip home.

The start was delayed slightly by a lady who had mislaid her Bingo books.  Much bra strap hitchin' and death ray stares at the lady to her left  (had she PINCHED her books???)  

They were eventually located hiding under the triumph to ...well triumph Im guessing of her  (surely award winning) architecturally outstanding, gravity defying, double barreled slingshots  which were resting on the table and had hidden her books.

Thank f*ck for that! 

Believe me you wouldn't want one of THOSE going off in an enclosed space without a protective wall of sandbags to hide behind! 

Just in case you were wondering what a girl like me was doing in a place like that ...  

I confess, I kind of love it really (but shh, that's just between us ok).  

I make them tea and serve them cake.. I carry their spoils out to their cars. I admire the photos of their grandchildren and I smile sweetly when their husbands (many with matching moobs) pat my arse and tell me what a lovely young girl I am.

Sod it, I don't get called a young girl often enough these days not to take my compliments when and where I can get them ...

If you are now starting to worry about me (those of you who didn't already that is).

In order redress the balance,  I shall, next Saturday, be attending one of my very best friends vaffanculo soiree!!

You may not all swear fluently in Italian so,  the polite translation of that is:

 'fuck you.' (you want to know the rude version?  Check it out on google:).

 It's pretty sure to be a drunken and debauched evening for all involved and if not, I shall MAKE it so!

Photos no doubt to follow ...

My lovely N is off to Italy and I will MISS her!!!

We have shared so much over the last few years. Marriage breakups, parties, drunken night in and out.  Dog walking, long rambling conversations about life and love and of course vodka laced Pimms!

God I'm going to miss her ... :(

You might be wondering where the socks and hugs come in to this post ...

Today I met up with C.

Now C and I  'met'  on a dating website quite a while ago now and today was that momentous day that we actually MET.

It can be a bit of a minefield when you actually do the face to face thing.

It could be when you find out that they got someone else to write all their messages or they lifted a photo off the net and passed it off as themselves or, (and this is the unforgivable one for me) they arrive early and remain seated throughout the whole 'date' which goes pretty well until it's time to leave and you discover when they stand up that you've spent the last couple of hours with someone who only reaches your elbow!

(Of course there is also the strong possibility that I may have unintentionally mis-sold myself too and I'm not what they were expecting/hoping for.)

Being tall is not a prerequisite to my dating someone.

Ok, that's actually a bit of a  lie ...

I don't mind someone being a little shorter than me and lets face it, I'd be ruling out lots of men if it were!  BUT, (I'm sorry, shallow though it may sound) I do have a preference for men who don't make me feel like some kind of freaking giant.

Anyway,  C was as described and I didn't tower over him even in my boots so it was a good start.

Now, for a variety of reasons this wasn't what I would call a typical 'date' as such.

More two people who have got to know each other fairly well over a period of time. Sometimes with frequent contact, sometimes with less who just deciding that, as they seemed to get along pretty well, it was about time to  meet up for real.

C had mentioned that he needed some new socks at some point during one of our conversations (oh yes, racy stuff I know but it surprising where conversations sometimes lead;).

What is it with men and socks btw??

Actually, maybe it's me!  Maybe I'm to blame ...  Socks, colour co-ordinating washing, ironing ...  hmmm I've had all those conversations with men at some point.

For the record, I do as little ironing as I can possibly get away with and I just buy mountains of plain black socks for myself because I really can't be arsed with matching up pairs ect  also, other than separating white from darks I don't obsess about colour co-ordinating my washing.

nb. I really don't have a problem with you doing any of the above (and please feel free to do mine too) but I just don't, ok?

Oh, and I WILL steal YOUR socks should we ever be in a situation where I have access to them

Anyway, of all the things we could have been doing I thought that C might like ME to help him choose some socks.  I would like to say at this point that he DID agree that I could choose and I still can't personally see what was so wrong with the Star Wars socks ...

We did other stuff too of course.

We walked, we talked, we laughed.  We drank coffee, we people watched and we hugged.

I'd kind of forgotten how nice it is to be hugged.

Oh, and the sausage roll ... didn't have one ;)

*god help you if you do!

Thursday 20 October 2011


I've been talking about my blog tonight and re-reading a few of the recent posts as well as some of the old ones.

I don't know...

I wonder if some of the people who started reading my blog at the beginning would even recognise me as the same person?

I wonder if some of the people who know me in real life would recognise me at all?

I know blogs evolve just like people do and there is nothing wrong with that. But I wonder if I didn't prefer mine how it used to be ... little anecdotes, the funny, silly things I do or that seem to happen to me.

The thing is, that's still me.  That's who I am.  I haven't really changed.

Obviously the newer readers are reading it BECAUSE of the newer posts so they do appeal.

You know, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this ...

I think what's been worrying me is something I've talked about before.  Am I analysing too much?  Am I thinking too much about what I'm going to write or what I've written. Or maybe I'm not thinking enough?

Am I allowing myself to be influenced by what I predict peoples reaction may be.*

I like to think my blog is honest and I certainly don't write anything that isn't true (well apart from an element of fiction in my WoW posts)  but I'm not sure that's the same thing.

God, I'm not sure even I understand that!

I'm sitting here trying to put into words how I'm feeling right now and for someone who loves to write it's bloody frustrating not to be able to.

Are you sitting there scratching your head asking, 'what the bloody hell is she talking about?'

I know I am :)

that's the one that REALLY bothers me *

Wednesday 19 October 2011

Truth or Dare

Today  I went to the doctors for a routine checkup.

At the beginning of  2010 I wasn't too well but generally I'm fine now.

Even my fat foot is very much better thank god.  The cold weather is setting in so the flip flops are going to be relegated to the back of the cupboard soon and wellies, well, they don't go with EVERYTHING  do they?

PLUS, I recently bought these:

god I LOVE thigh high boots -  bloody difficult to take a
photo of on your own though!
 (these have slipped a little due to the angle)

My doc has a habit of asking the questions I don't always want to answer:

How's your appetite?  Umm, give me a dare ...

Are you sleeping? Oooo,  I'll take the dare please ...

Is anything bothering you ...  playing on your mind?  Look, just give me the damned dare would you!!!

Then he asks me to hop on the scales.  THAT'S the one I really hate because I know I'm loosing weight again and I know what that means ...

Another round of blood tests :(

Well, when they can find a vein that is!

I may have mentioned before that there are a few things I've inherited from my mother.  One is her face shape.  Two is her shoe size and the third and really bloody annoying one is her collapsing veins!

My BMI has dropped below 20 once again. Deep joy

According to my doc, anything between 18.5 and 20 is fine if you are an athlete.  Well I ain't no athlete so apparently it's not ok.

Such is life.

Still, life could be worse, I could have a bare arse !!!*

Gus, my gorgeous Border Collie has a little problem.  He's been scratching a lot over the past weeks, particularly his rear end.

Well, fleas are as much a part of life when you have pets as headlice are with young children, so I deal with it.  I'm pretty good at keeping on top of it.  All the animals and the house get a regular going over and we don't really have a problem.

To be honest, headlice used to be a MUCH bigger problem than fleas have ever been when the children were young.

So I was fairly confident when we went to the vets on Monday that it was something else bothering my pooch.  Over the weekend he had been scratching and biting. Driving ME nuts as well as himself and leaving the hair on his backside and tail very thin.

My bloody dog it appears is allergic to fleas!  No he doesn't have any BUT he has reacted badly to being bitten by one.

My vet and I are on quite good terms since the time he saved Gus's life and we all ended up on the floor. Gus unconscious and me in the vets lap while he realigned my dislocated knee (long story;)

It's hard to maintain a professional distance when someone's thrown themselves on top of you and you've manhandled their patella.

So Gus is now on a course of steroids which will apparent ease the problem but may make him extra hungry and thirsty while he's taking them.

Oh really Mr Vet?  You weren't kidding were you?

I found that out when, on the way back from our walk this afternoon. I stopped to chat to a friend for a few minutes and Gus wandered off and started chomping down a pile of puke at the side of the road.

TOTALLY GROSS!!!  Ewww, yuck and fuckedy fuck!!!

The dog is banished to the hallway until I get that image out of my head and he learns how to clean his own teeth and gargle!!!

* I feel I should point out that I DON'T actually have a hairy arse ;)

Return Of The Ridiculous

After my rather hormone fulled rant of yesterday I thought I might share a few of the other things that have been going on in my life in the last few days.

Before I do, I just wanted to say thanks to all of you who left comments.  I did feel a little like a precocious toddler having a tantrum but it was good to get it out :)

Also, Meg.  Thank you again for the shout out.  I have visited your blog but for some reason (possibly me being thick) I can't see how to follow or leave comments.  I wanted to tell you that I was also inspired partly to start my blog by Julie and Julia (it's my ALL time favorite film:). I'm not sure which of them I admire most but one of my best Birthday presents this year was Julia Childs cook book.

Well, as previously mentioned. I went to Rule 7 on Friday night.  it's such a cool place and I think it might be a regular haunt from now on.  Really wish I'd thought to take my camera, I will next time!

On Saturday Paul came round as promised to shape up my bushes, clear my undergrowth and dispose of my excess foliage.

(btw, anyone not giggling in a juvenile way by now just may not be a kindred spirit ...;)

I like to think that I'm not the kind of gal who expects something for nothing so ... his reward was to take me to the Carnival. Now apparently the south west carnivals are the biggest illuminated (moving??) event in the world.  Something like that anyway.

I'd normally take the children but they were away this weekend so I almost didn't go but then I thought you lot might like a few pics which you will find at the bottom of this post.

Not sure it was THAT much fun for Paul with me leaping in front of the floats trying to get a good photo (and mostly failing) but he took it quite well only occasionally muttering, 'where's that bloody pint you promised me'...  He did get it in the end.

Sunday and I had friends and family over for dinner.  10 minutes before they were due and I was giving the bathroom a once over.  I cleaned the toilet, pulled the flush and there was a loud cracking sound and I was left with the effing handle in my hand!

Now the last thing you want when you are expecting 7 for dinner and you only have one bathroom is to have no sodding toilet!

A couple of quick phone calls to say 'please empty your bladder before arrival (failing that, bring your own container!). And a begging call to The Demon to please HELP!!!

Two hours later, two trips to Wicks, 35 quid poorer, a trawl of the neighbours for the right sized spanner, several ruined towels, a flooded bathroom, guests doing a manic version of the macarena around the dining table and I have a toilet that everytime it's flushed pisses water out of the back of the cistern.

Order has been restored :)

My daughter has her first crush.  God, I remember that soooo well.  Like mine her object of affection is in year 11 while she is in year 8.  Completely futile, far too old for her and yet we can all dream can't we?

I decided it might be a good time to have THE talk with her.

I've always been open and honest with my children.  When Master Mac aged 5 asked me how babies were made I told him.  After looking at me incredulously for a few seconds he burst out laughing, said 'I don't believe you' and walked off chuckling to himself and that was the end of that, phew!

Anyway, I though Miss Mac and I should start not with the mechanics, I think that's been pretty well covered already but with how sex is best as part of a loving relationship.

D'you know, I'm not really sure she even WANTED to be having that conversation with me and, when I for some completely unknown reason, I started it by saying 'the first thing to remember is that you should never just go pounding in' she started giggling uncontrollably, which started me off, which reminded me of  Pam and her friend Julia, which made me laugh even more and so we decided to leave that conversation for another 12 years.

Anyway, as promised, my somewhat crappy and blurred photos of the carnival (you should be able to click on any of the photos on my blog if you want a bigger image)

should have rotated this one - didn't - could you just tilt your head?

my camera couldn't cope with the light but I think it looks pretty cool

no idea what this is but the person on top is actually wearing stilts
(see, I'm not the only one with spare legs and arse for photo opportunities;)

part of a float that must have been 40ft long

Crappy camera, too much light and it was all moving . I SO wish you all (especially those with children) could have been there to see it!

Tuesday 18 October 2011

Who Am I? (contains bad language, truth and nuts)

This morning I woke up to the following message on Facebook:

God you're cute...a friend of k*****?

I deactivated my Facebook account a few weeks ago after posting this picture:

To me this is just one of a series of photos that was taken that day.  It's not my favorite. I don't think it's particularly flattering.

But, something about it obviously made one of my male FB 'friends' think I would be up for a series of messages (which I didn't reply to) full of sexual innuendo and suggestion.

Maybe I should have told him to fuck off.  Maybe I should have publicly named and shamed him on FB.

But that's not me and anyway, do I really want everyone including my children to see that. To know what and how he thinks of me?

I could just have unfriended him.  I could have removed the photo.

I deactivated my account.  I felt grubby ...

I gave it some thought.  I'm not a huge fan of Facebook these days. It's lost it's appeal for me a little although at one time it was a real lifeline.

But there are good things about it.  It's the only way I stay in regular contact with some of my friends who don't live locally.

I like to see what they are up to. See their children growing up in photos. Hop onto chat and catch up from time to time.

So, a few days ago I reactivated my account.  I unfriended and blocked that person.  That's something I've never done before.  

I don't have hundreds of friends on Facbook.  I don't accept friends requests from the 'people collectors' as I think of them.  The people who befriend friends of friends just to boost numbers. 

I don't understand the point of that.  The people I have on there are people I care about in varying degrees.  I don't know them all really well but I like them.

I changed my profile photo to this:

Now I'm not going to naively say that I'm not aware that it might have a certain appeal to some men and lets face it, most of us wouldn't post an unflattering photo.  You also have to remember my gurning tendency so my options tend to be limited but, mostly I doubt my FB friends gave it a second thought.

So, back to this morning message.  Who was this person?  Well, I checked him out.  Obviously he was a friend of K's.  How did he find me?  I haven't posted or commented on her wall for ages.  

I guess he was just trawling her friends list and came across me.

His profile is open so I had a look.  He's a good looking guy, about 10 years younger than me and he has over 700 friends.  Without looking through all of them I'd guess that about 80% are women.

It's not an offensive message, maybe I should even be flattered but you know what?  I'm not!

This is where it may turn into a little bit of a pissed off rant so you may wish to turn off now :)

I am sick and bloody tired of being viewed and judged on appearance!  I don't think I'm god's gift.  I'm not egocentric.  I don't think anyone would be lucky to have me.  I don't want to be someones fucking ego wank ever again!

Ok, rant over ...  Hmmm, that was shorted than expected ;)

I'm 45.  I'm a single parent.  I'm a home maker.  I love to cook. To garden. I love children. I like going out and having fun.  I love music and laughter. I love to write. I do stupid things.  I love the people I love without question. I love to behave irresponsibly. To run into the sea fully clothed.  To roll down a grassy slope. To climb a tree even though I know I'll be scared to climb back down. I like to talk. To listen. To really get to know people.  To understand what makes them tick.  To make them happy.

I want to be listened to.  Have my opinions valued. I want to be asked what I think.  I want to matter, I mean REALLY matter.

I want to be taken seriously FFS!

If I ever chance another relationship and to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I want to, then I'd quite like it if that person loved the person I am on the inside too.

Believe me, the outside is all going to go pear shaped at some point (probably in the not too distant future).

I just don't have TIME for this shit!

Monday 17 October 2011

TaP - Stop Press - I Worked It Out!!!

Rather than re-write this post I have added the linky at the bottom.

Feeling very techno geek now (although those of you in the know know how easy this is;)


For any one who missed last weeks TaP (Toast a Post) the idea is that each week I will post a link to a blog post that has caught my eye for whatever reason.

It may be because it's made me think, made me laugh, given me a warm fuzzy feeling, whatever.

The idea behind this is sharing a little blog love.  This isn't about ME for once (but lets face it, you get plenty of me whether you like it or not anyway :).

All I'll be asking is, that if anyone wants to, they link up their favorite post of the week (not one of your own) and, well, that's it really.

No rules, no requirements to follow me or anyone else just link up and, if you have a little time to spare, pop along and take a look at some others (or just my link if no one else links up:).

Anyway, this weeks favorite post is:

As I walked out one October morning ...   by Lesley at  Postcard Pam Goes Large.

It's got everything I love in a blog post.  Beautiful photos of amazing people, a lovely story and (because Lesley and I are possibly two halves of the same egg) a daft anecdote that could have come straight from me and had me giggling til the tears ran down my face.

GREAT post PP!

Sunday 16 October 2011

"Bring Me Sunshine In A Cup" - WoW

Write On Wednesdays

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 19 - Sunshine in a cup. Write the words of Emily Dickinson: "Bring me sunshine in a cup" at the top of your page. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Write the first words that come into your head after the prompt. Don't take you pen off the page (or fingers off the keyboard). Stop only when the buzzer rings! Do this exercise over and over if you wish. Write beyond 5 minutes if you like, you can link it up as an extra post.

My interpretation of this is that the sunshine is Rock Chick happiness. It comes to her one small cupful at a time.


Throwing the gardening gloves onto the decking beside her, careless of her nail polish, she dug with both hands, into the earth.

The rich, fruity smell of loam filled the air. Soil crumbled between her fingertips like pastry in the making.

Eyes closed, breathing deeply, she sat back on her heels.

She felt ...

Cautiously she explored the feeling, half afraid that if it were disturbed it might vanish and she wouldn't be able to recapture it.

It was a good feeling she decided.

The sun was warm on her back. She pulled her top away from her neck. A sheen of perspiration lay along her collarbone.

Opening her eyes she looked around. A degree of order had been restored.

She had spent so long in a state of tumoil.  What if's ...   If only's ...  please god's ...

For a while, she had lost sight of reality.

To continue in that vein could make it her reality forever and that wasn't the future she saw for herself.

All that had been so good would be forgotten, buried beneath a blanket of regret.

Everything that could be good in the future would be lost, stifled by sorrow.

It was time to start the healing process.

Silent Sunday

Saturday 15 October 2011

My Name's Sarah and I am (destined to be) a Redhead

Last night I went to this really cool bar called Rule 7.

It's in a converted wine cellar so it's got loads of little cave like things where they used to store the wine that are now seating areas.

The food is amazing and the music ...  Jazz, Blues, Soul, just made me want to dance!

Before I went out I decided it was about time I dyed my hair.  Now, regular readers may remember I accidently went purple a little while ago.

Well, the purple faded into a reddish colour and I decided it was time for a change so I bought this:

NOW, does it not clearly say GOLDEN BROWN????

I was thinking it would tone down the red a little.

After I washed it out I looked in the mirror:

hmm, looking a little RED to me ...

So I looked a little closer:

what do YOU think?

I still wasn't convinced.  After all, it SAYS golden brown on the box doesn't it?

Then I thought, You can't really tell until it's dry:

it's bloody RED again isn't it!

Kate Takes 5 - Listography


Well, I HAD planned a blogging free weekend.

Lots on and not much time but I popped on to see what was new and ...  well, who could resist checking out the top 5 keyword searches on their blog?

Not me evidently ;)

1)  Cat Shit - Hmm, I may have mentioned this ONCE or twice!

2)  Kirsty Allsops Big Arse - Who'd have thought eh?  I wonder if she'd be flattered ... ?

3)  Don't Shit Sherlock - Well, I'm pretty sure I never said he did!

4)  Braless - Thanks Maggie - evidently the prospect of seeing you in your Boden with no bra brings a fair amount of traffic my way.  A TRUE friend ;)

5)  Ha Ha -  I'm fairly sure the people pumping this one in weren't searching for the Bee Gees.

Thursday 13 October 2011

Day Two - Change Of Plan

I was quite relieved this morning when I woke up to find that yesterday hadn't just been a blip.

I still felt pretty damned good :)

Now, my plan for today HAD been to clear out my bedroom in preparation for decorating (even though I still ache all over from yesterday).

It's a pretty town
Then I got a phone call from Woody.  He was going to Dulverton, a lovely little market town on Exmoor  to pick up some contracts for a case he was working on.  Would I like to come along for the ride and lunch?

Hmm, difficult decision ...... ;)  NOT!!

Who could resist Acorn Antiques:)

I just like the colour :)

They were quite cute so we shared a little
With work out of the way and the sun shining we decided to pick up some lunch from a little deli and sit by the river where we were joined by these guys:  

But then I noticed THIS:
All their friends wanted to get in on the act!
A lovely place to lunch (apart from the hoards of hungry ducks!)

Could be worse, could be in focus ;)

Woody took some truly crap photos of me which I will NOT be publishing and in return I took a truly crap one of him which obviously I will ;)

"Don't you think ducks look like
they should have arms?"

Besides, he seemed to find it extremely funny for some reason when I said:

They DO ...  don't they ...?

This evening I went out for a drink with Paul. Hard to believe that this little gem is literally TWO minutes from my door!

I also took a photo of Paul which I kind of promised not to use so I trawled the net for a lookalike and the closest I came up with was this:

Oops! (sod it, what's
the worst he can do ... ?)

Ok, maybe not quite Brad (although he does have the hair, it's just tied back) and you do have to bear in mind my crappy camera and the fact that is was getting dark

Ha ha, gotcha surfer dude ;)          

Oh, and I nearly forgot to say.  Woody brought me a present.  It's a little bit wacky ...

Can't think WHY he thought of me but I may just hang it on my bedroom wall.
Thank you Woody!

Wednesday 12 October 2011

Day One - One Down

I woke up this morning full of enthusiasm.

Unusual for a couple of reasons.

One because I'm not actually sure I went to sleep for more than 20 minutes due to blue light, brain overload, or whatever.

Two because it's seems like such a long time since I've felt like that.  I wrote a few months ago about how Id lost my mojo.  Well, I guess I hadn't really regained it properly.  Sure I've been doing stuff, going out, having fun, being pretty normal really.  So normal that I didn't even realise I wasn't really myself.

My friend L popped round yesterday and she mentioned it.  I said I was fine and I really thought I was telling the truth.  I guess she could see more clearly than me.

Anyway, as I mentioned in my previous post, I had several different conversations last night.  All of them (although perhaps in a roundabout way) were quite positive.  I guess in that 20 minutes or so of sleep my brain must have sorted them out.

I wrote a to do list last night with Ian.  I may have made it sound like he tells me what to do and I do it.

 Ha ha, anyone that knows me knows, that AIN'T the way I work ;)

So no, it wasn't like that.  He is very good at making me look at the things that are getting me down and finding solutions.  All stuff I know myself really but tend to ignore or can't see clearly (that's not all he's about btw, he's lots of other things too)

THIS is last year
Anyway!  Top of the list of things was my garden.  It never really got started this year and again, anyone that knows me knows how unlike me THAT is.  I love my garden.  It's tiny but I love to see it come alive with colour.  Id started well, with loads of plants ready to be potted up and .... well, that's how they stayed. In their little pots gradually being strangled and unable to thrive. I can't believe I did that!

THIS is last year

And this
And this :)

It's Autumn now, time to tidy the garden ready for winter.  Time to plant for the Spring and guess what?  That's EXACTLY what I've done today.  I spent 6 hours, digging, weeding, emptying pots, pruning, sweeping, tying back, cleaning the garden furniture and putting it away.  I even got down on my hands and knees with a dustpan and brush FFS ;)

Dug, ready for planting
Tamed the Bay
(which smelt WONDERFUL)

Felt a little sad at pruning this
but it flowers so late

Re-potted the solitary
geranium to survive neglect
And got 3 bags of this!

End result, one garden ready for bulb planting and one me, aching in every bone in my body but in SUCH a good way :))

I may not be completely back to being me just yet but the signs are gooood ...

An Odd Sort Of Evening

I've had, 2 phone calls, a text conversation and an email conversation all with different men tonight.

All of which possibly make me sound like a bit of a tart ;)

To be honest, my heads all a bit to f*ck (SORRY, I really DID try to think of a more polite way of putting that, honest!!).

Too many different conversations.  Too much to think about. I'm not even 100% sure I know what I was talking about with who anymore!

The first phone call was from James.  We share a love of olives and hugs and a mutual temporary aversion to Facebook.  I love James, he's like a favorite big brother, or at least how I imagine a brother should be.  He takes me out, makes me laugh and laughs so much at his own jokes that he cries.  He always chats up the waitress although he insists he's just making polite conversation (not sure they always see it that way James:)

Everyone should have a James in their life, I may consider hiring him out!

Then I got an email from Ian 'Where the bloody hell are you?  Have they put you inside for collecting too many ASBO's'

Umm, SORRY Ian, I completely forgot to answer your last email.  Well, the truth is, I DIDN'T forget at all.  Ian is my own little Jiminy Cricket, he sits on my shoulder whispering into my ear, trying to organise me.  Disorder offends him and so sometimes I find it easier not to reply rather than to tell him that yet again I have eaten my 'to do' list.

But this time I could in all conscience email him back because I had ticked off ALL the things on my list.  I did remember to buy Master Mac new rugby shirt.  He wore his old one for the first time this year last week and came home wearing it under his school shirt.  It was a little on the tight side and by the time he'd run around and got rather hot in it the bloody thing was WELDED to his body, I had to peel it off!  I had sorted the rest of the drawers in the Merchants chest.  Started divorce proceedings for the 3RD time! And looked into the possibility of a photography course at college but it's sadly beyond my budget at the moment :( but one day!

Well, once we got over all that we had a chat about this and that and he's made me another sodding 'to do' list, hmmmm!

I had a text conversation that to be honest had been brewing for a while.  I'm glad we did :)

The final phone call was from Woody. He who put up the catapulting washing line!  He who while helping me paint the hallway managed to splatter cream paint all over my floor even with dust sheets!  He who ...  Well, the list goes on.  Safe to say that despite his many wonderful qualities DIY is NOT his forte!  He is a great cook though and he's great at mending bikes so I forgive him much (as he does me:) and he's also a fellow insomniac so he's usually up for a chat in the wee small hours if I can't sleep.

Anyway, all this testosterone filled conversation has left me unable to sleep again which is a real bugger as I'm knackered!

Guess I might as well make a start on that 'to do' list ...  :)

Tuesday 11 October 2011

The Versatile Blogger

A little while ago E from Whining at the World passed the Versitile blogger award on to me.  It's been sitting on the back burner while I tried to think of 7 interesting facts about myself that you don't already know!

Of course, as always accepting one of these awards there are certain things you have to do. So, these are the 3 (thank goodness there are only 3!) things to do.
Firstly, you must thank the blogger who awarded you and link back to them. So just in case you missed it, many thanks to E, sorry it's taken me so long :)
Then you should share 7 interesting facts about yourself.
Finally you need to pass the award on to 15 newly discovered blogs.

Well, I'm not too sure about interesting but this is what I came up with.

1) I'd love an Irish Wolf Hound (or even two!).  I would call him/them Seamus and Ambros.

2) I bumped into Roger Daltry once at a tube station in London.  Well, to be more precise, he knocked me flying as he came pounding up the steps.  He was very apologetic though so I'll let him off.

3) I don't eat biscuits. At least, hardly ever and I'd never buy them for myself.  I really don't understand dunking biscuits either, totally gross!!!

4) I don't believe in happy ever after.

5) I once spent 12 hours each way on a minibus with a tug-o-war team to go and watch the Highland Games at Breamar in Scotland.

6) I am seriously considering the possibility of emigrating to Australia at some point.  British winters get me down.  I have Australian citizenship.  I even have the offer of a job.  There are things that keep me here but as time goes on I wonder if they are enough.

7)  My next house type project is to paint my bedroom, I have this picture in my head of honey cream walls with golden clouds (like a watermark, trust me, it looks great in my head :)  The plan is to have it done before winter really sets in which will hopefully make getting up in the dark earlier.

And so to the third and final part.  I would like to pass this award on to:

Sif at At The Bottom of the Garden - she writes posts that make me think and also great fiction.

Anne from Domesblissity - A real friend who posts pictures of food that make my mouth water!

Feisty Cat - A new find, check it out!

Kelloggsville - Always on the scrounge for a cuppa ;)

Lesley from Postcard Pam because I can never get enough of her.

I wanted to pass it to Nel from Mums Mutterings but the blog content has gone.  If you read this Nel, I hope it's just a glitch in the syste

I know that's only 5!!!  But if I don't hit publish now I'll be late for the orthodontist!

Monday 10 October 2011

Listography - My 5 Worst Dates

This weeks listography is being hosted by Typecast and the theme is 5 worst dates.

God this could have been MADE for me, I've had a few shockers.

Let me tell you all ......

Ok, first of all I need to say that most ok some of them were entirely the fault of my friend Maggie. Either being drunk and wandering off so I got bored and started chatting to anyone and every one OR giving me misinformation about the blokes I chatted to whilst I was drunk.

Either way she was usually involved and ALWAYS to blame ;)

1) I took a phone number whilst I was drunk in charge of a pair of crutches (having broken my kneecap whilst drunk and looking for Maggie!).  A few days later I made the mistake of asking Maggie if I should phone him, I didn't have a CLUE what he was like.


He turned up in a jumper he'd knitted himself, drank coke and pineapple juice in the same glass and SNIFFED, the one bodily function I cannot tolerate (personally I'd rather he broke wind!).  Because of the bloody crutches I couldn't get home under my own steam.  This was before mobiles were commonly in use so I had him escort me to the nearest phone box which took bloody forever and had to talk in code to a friend who assumed I was drunk for ages before convincing them to come and pick me up!

2)  Maggie and I (and you Bev!) went to a night club in Andover called the G Spot, I shit you not!  nb 'I shit you not' is an expression I have picked up from some lovely Aussie bloggers I know.  I love it.  It's similar to the UK I kid you not but slightly more descriptive (I'm always looking for ways to expand my vocabulary:).

Anyway, as the vodka disappeared we devised a game (ok, I devised a game).  The night club was a kind of hexagon shape, lots of corners and I decided we should see who could collect the most men's phone numbers.  So I circulated stopping to chat at each corner.  Having secured a phone number I then told each of them to stay right where they were as I needed the loo and Id be straight back.  Then I moved on to the next corner.

Well, (slightly modestly) I won the game although I'm not really sure that anyone else was playing!!!

I went home armed with my phone numbers.  A week later I was sent up to the area with work and it involved an overnight stay.  Now one of the blokes had been quite nice so I thought Id give him a call.  Trouble is I couldn't remember which one it was.  In steps Maggie, 'it was that one for sure' she said picking one of the phone numbers.

So I called him.

I swear to god I'd never seen this bloke before in my life!  He wore a nylon shirt with big sweat patches under his arms.  As the evening wore on the static built up in the shirt and he CRACKLED!  If you'd turned the lights off he's have glowed in the dark!  He bought me a half dead rose from one of those rose sellers that wander round bars and thought that was his ticket to take me back to my hotel for afters.  I SHIT YOU NOT!!!

3)  I used to have an on off relationship when I was much younger, in fact, we still keep in touch but just as friends.

Now this particular 'friend' used to have another friend who ran corporate weekends on Exmoor.  Lots of mental office types let loose with guns and stuff getting pissed up in the pub ect.  Well, we used to spend quite a lot of time down there when these weekends were going on.  One night we were all at the pub which was a mile or so from the manor house where the weekends were held.  There must have been 20 of us.  For some reason the transport that was suppose to arrive to take us all back failed to appear so we decided to walk.  I cant remember what time of year it was but it was bloody cold!

Once outside the pub M  (not Maggie this time:) uttered the immortal words 'I know a short cut'.

The short cut was over the fields in the pitch black with no torch and a load of (no offense) pissed as farts Hooray Henrys.  There was also a dyke (water filled ditch) at the bottom of the first field.  We lost a couple of them there, a few more negotiating the barbed wire fence and two or three climbing the 6ft wall that surrounded the house and had no access into the damned field!

4) When I first started dating my ex he lived in a small village where to be perfectly honest, they didn't get out much and used to make their own entertainment ie sleeping with the neighbours wife, cow or ass ..

Well, my ex wasn't a local but (unknown to me) he had embrased this philosopy wholeheartedly with a neighbours wife a few months previously.

He took me to the local which was a scary place at the best of times 'The Black Nun' or some such name.  The neighbours wife was there and was none to happy to see him roll up with me.  Then the neighbour who had only recently found out about their activities turned up.  I still had no idea what was going on but it was pretty obvious by the way my ex and his friends stood between me and them that things could turn ugly.

We made our escape out the back way while they were distracted by the bar staff with free cheesy puffs.  When we eventually stopped running he turned to kiss me on the cheek forgetting he still had a fag in his mouth and nearly set fire to my hair and left a perfectly round burn on my cheek!

5)  God, which to choose ...
One of the occasion where I seemed to jinx cars so they wouldn't start/ open or the alarm wouldn't switch off?
The one where I broke my arm?
The one who I thought was a naturalist until he showed me his holiday pics!!!
 The one who spent the entire date slagging off his ex and spitting everytime he mentioned her name?
The one (ok ones!) where I was mistaken for a hooker (TOTALLY undeserved).
The one where I laughed so hard there was a real danger of my pelvic floor giving way?
The one who bored me so much I actually fell asleep when he went to the loo?

I don't know, you choose :)

Toast a Post

Ok, a few days ago I left a teaser comment on B's blog B Being Cool  telling her that I had a plan brewing and to 'watch this space'

Well, here it is!

I jump on the occasional blog hop/linky.  They are a great way to find new blogs and for other people to find yours.

I'm not a fan of the big ones, too many generic 'following you from blah, blah, blah, please follow me back'.

Umm, no ta ;)

Apparently this type of comment is sometimes left to increase/decrease????  Alexa numbers.

Not a flippin' CLUE what they are so please don't ask me to explain.  I got all my knowledge of them from Cranky Old Man which was basically him saying 'WTF are Alexa numbers' except I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually swear.

I also love getting/passing on blog awards (thank you lovely, lovely E from Whining at the World I have NOT forgotten the you passed the Versatile Blogger Award on to me, just struggling to find 7 interesting things to say about myself that don't include celery or cat shit :)

Anyhow, my point in all of this ( I CAN hear you yelling at the back for me to get on with it!) is .. I thought I could do a little combo of the two.

Ok, there is no linky as I haven't got a bloody clue HOW to do one (but I will learn) and this isn't technically an award either.

Other than that, you hard put to spot the difference, honest!!

So, with no further ado, this is how it works ...

Each week on a Monday I shall post a link to my favorite post of the week and I'm hoping that those of you who may not already be following whichever talented blogger I pick on  select will take the time to pop over and take a look.

I'm not going to have a theme. There will be no rules once the linky is up and running (god knows when that will be anyway!).  No requirement to follow me, follow others ect.

Just a request that you link your favorite  post  of the week (NOT YOUR OWN) and maybe pop along to a couple of others.

NOW, it has occurred to me that I may be breaching some kind of blogging etiquette with this.

Is it ok to just post a link to someone else's post or should you ask permission first?  I really don't know.  I do know I'd be ok with it ...

Hmm, I'm going to go with it anyway unless anyone tells me otherwise.  I guess the only thing I would say is that without permission I wouldn't want to post a link to sensitive post.

Ok, drum roll, my very first TaP link goes to (you've guessed it:) B, from B Being Cool for this post:

10 Things - 10 Little Things You Can Do To Have A Little Holiday At Home

I LOVED it, hope you do too!

Today I Went To Crewkerne

Wikipedia says:

Crewkerne is a busy little Somerset market town of around 7,000 residents. The town retains much charm from the bustle of previous centuries and has some very attractive neo-Georgian architecture in its famous honey-coloured town centre buildings.

And yes, it is charming and the houses, made of local Ham Stone, are pretty quaint:

Best find of the day:




I could have spent HOURS in there just inhaling the scent of old books!

Slight low point of the day:

We were there to have my ring valued for auction

On a brighter note, we found this on the way to the auction house:

Bacon sandwiches ALMOST as good as my own :)

AND a bakery/deli that sold about 30 different types of bread as well as homemade jam:

No idea what the bread is but  it looked good so I bought it.
It's YUM and blackcurrant jam
is my all time favorite!
Which we took back to The Demons house, check this out (can't think why he wont swap;)

you may have seen this doorstep

I WANT this garden! (I have plans for it;)
See that walled bit at the end?  Perfect for fruit trees and a veg patch.

The palms are a little out  of place in an English country garden (try not to break into song here ;) but they do make this great shimmering sound when the wind blows through them.

It's not looking it's best at the moment but hey, it IS October in England y'know.