Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Day One - One Down

I woke up this morning full of enthusiasm.

Unusual for a couple of reasons.

One because I'm not actually sure I went to sleep for more than 20 minutes due to blue light, brain overload, or whatever.

Two because it's seems like such a long time since I've felt like that.  I wrote a few months ago about how Id lost my mojo.  Well, I guess I hadn't really regained it properly.  Sure I've been doing stuff, going out, having fun, being pretty normal really.  So normal that I didn't even realise I wasn't really myself.

My friend L popped round yesterday and she mentioned it.  I said I was fine and I really thought I was telling the truth.  I guess she could see more clearly than me.

Anyway, as I mentioned in my previous post, I had several different conversations last night.  All of them (although perhaps in a roundabout way) were quite positive.  I guess in that 20 minutes or so of sleep my brain must have sorted them out.

I wrote a to do list last night with Ian.  I may have made it sound like he tells me what to do and I do it.

 Ha ha, anyone that knows me knows, that AIN'T the way I work ;)

So no, it wasn't like that.  He is very good at making me look at the things that are getting me down and finding solutions.  All stuff I know myself really but tend to ignore or can't see clearly (that's not all he's about btw, he's lots of other things too)

THIS is last year
Anyway!  Top of the list of things was my garden.  It never really got started this year and again, anyone that knows me knows how unlike me THAT is.  I love my garden.  It's tiny but I love to see it come alive with colour.  Id started well, with loads of plants ready to be potted up and .... well, that's how they stayed. In their little pots gradually being strangled and unable to thrive. I can't believe I did that!

THIS is last year

And this
And this :)

It's Autumn now, time to tidy the garden ready for winter.  Time to plant for the Spring and guess what?  That's EXACTLY what I've done today.  I spent 6 hours, digging, weeding, emptying pots, pruning, sweeping, tying back, cleaning the garden furniture and putting it away.  I even got down on my hands and knees with a dustpan and brush FFS ;)

Dug, ready for planting
Tamed the Bay
(which smelt WONDERFUL)

Felt a little sad at pruning this
but it flowers so late

Re-potted the solitary
geranium to survive neglect
And got 3 bags of this!

End result, one garden ready for bulb planting and one me, aching in every bone in my body but in SUCH a good way :))

I may not be completely back to being me just yet but the signs are gooood ...


pam said...

Ha! I have a beautiful garden that I completely neglected this year due to lack of mojo too! Finally, I got someone in to help clear it for me as it is a large cottage garden and it went mad- like triffids!
Anyway, I can now see what I am doing and me and she (gardener) work on it together. It's been lovely. Gardens promote mental health.

Sarah Mac said...

They so do PP. What was that you said about being separated at birth ;)

I feel absolutely shattered but full of energy and something suspiciously like contentment too.

I'm out for a drink tomorrow night with a friend (don't tell me, you too??;) and when I spoke to him tonight he offered to come round and sort the really thick woody stuff I couldn't cut through with my pretty rubbish shears.

I love a proper cottage garden but this year it would just have been more to neglect.

E. said...

Thats a beautiful garden.

Glad you are getting your mojo back. If you find mine can you send it over here? Thanks.

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks E, it really is only tiny but it's my little space and I've missed it this year.

There seem to be a lot of missing mojos lately.

I think the key to finding mine was a reality check. Concentrating on the things that make me happy makes me realise that the things that make me sad only do so when I let them.

I think (ok, I know:) I'd got things out of proportion.

I'm feeling pretty hopeful right now and a little pissed off with myself for not seeing the bigger picture sooner.

Life In A Pink Fibro said...

Ooh. I love me a day of Extreme Gardening. Hope it pays off in a big way for you!

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks Allison. It already has in a small way :)

Kelloggsville said...

lovely flowers and lovely mojo ! x

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks K, can't wait to it's fully back :) x