A couple of weeks ago I wrote in my dating diary:
"Watching my cat give birth was a very moving experience only slightly marred by the realisation that my daughter (having been asked to buy several newspapers in preparation for the birthing from the local shop) had picked up 7 copies of the Daily Star. To my horror I realised that my beautiful kitty was bringing young innocents into the world on a page of newsprint advertising 'Filthy Granny Sex Live' and 'Dominatrix Live Sex Chat'!!!
Fortunately Tilly seemed to feel it as inappropriate as I did and (kitten half out) got up and took up residence under the dining room table. Note to Claire, I know where TILLYS placentas are!!
Anyway, the birth went smoothly after that and she is now the proud mother of 3 beatiful kittens.
So, I thought, a relaxing evening is in order but then I remembered, with all the fuss Id fogotten to do a whites wash, the children had no clean school shirts for the morning.
Calculating that if I put them on a quick wash and stuck them over a radiator they would be dry by morning I duely loaded up the machine.
Time for a coffee and a bit of a sit down. Kettle on I went to check once again on Mum and babies and BANG, the trip blew and everything was plunged into darkness.
Out to the hall way where the fusebox is located and reaching up on my tiptoes (why do they put them so high?) I fipped the switch back up, half way down the hall, BANG, it went again. This time I decided something might be wrong so I unplugged the kettle, back to the hall ect, flip, BANG and back to the kitchen. One by one I unplugged things ... hall........flip..BANG UNTIL, I unplugged the washing machine! Hall ..flip ..... no bang Hmm, I apparently now have a knackered washing machime to add to my list of knackered appliances and whats worse, a washing machine half full of water and ALL the childrens school shirts.
Im tempted to send them to school with notes saying the dog ate them, it somehow seems more believeable than the truth. And so while its true, I have had a perfectly wonderful evening this certainly WASNT it!
3 comments:
LOL. That was quite an evening. It's rare to see granny sex, placenta and school shirts all in one post!
Visiting via the Rewind.
Is this why the school people come to your house? Send the kids in with the Daily Star and the teachers won't notice the missing shirts.
As always, thank you for the laughs. It's probably not funny as it happens but you are a wonderful teller of stories.
Ha ha, little bit of an eclectic mix going on there Allison :)
God, might be one of the reasons Catherine. (they may have many more ;)Sometimes it's funny as it happens, that particular evening it was more retrospectively :))
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