Slightly Singed (part one)

Rewinding with Multiple Mum

We're back, we're fed, we are tired!! ( and I am slightly singed down one side).

The day started pretty well, I managed to get three girls and one boy (who had spent half the night on his xbox) up and out of the door by 10:30. I even fed a couple of them.

I briefly consider using the 'quick buy' ticket machine at the train station then, laughing softly to myself, took my place in the queue.

Once on the train we settled ourselves. 'Why don't you put your arm rest down Mum?' said Master Mac.

Well I TRIED!! Expecting it just to slide down into place with the gentlest of touches, it DIDNT. So I gave it a tug, not moving …..... I used BOTH hands, noting doing!

I''ll do it Mum' said Master Mac. 'You cant, its stuck or broken' I replied.

'Don't worry he said, I can do it, ILL USE MY GENITALS'!!!!

Now Id say I was pretty open minded, fairly unshockable really but I have to admit even I was a LITTLE taken aback at the thought of my son having a) the equipment that would enable him to do that and b) being unselfconscious enough to happily whip it out on a train and use it as a pulley.

My look of horror, and it has to be said slightly smug amazement (not EVERY Mother has a son with those capabilities you know!) were swiftly quashes when it transpired what he had ACTUALLY said was, 'Ill use my Jedi forces'!

We arrived at Weston Super Mare to blazing sunshine and the realisation that I didn't actually know the way from the train station to the beach.

'No problem, follow that 4 year old with the bucket and spade' I said, he looks like he knows where he's going, so …...................... we went to Tesco!

Actually I was quite pleased, Id forgotten to pack a book and I'm not really a sitting on the beach kind of person.

I thought Id better pad out the picnic a little too while we were there so we had a wander around.

'Can we have some doughnuts Mum' said Miss Mac. 'I don't see why not I replied'. Sooo Tesco are doing packs of 5 doughnuts £1.60 for 5 or 2 packs for £2, 'might as well get 2 pack's I said. What Id failed to realise was there were several different sorts of doughnuts! Master Mac wanted Chocolate, Miss Mac wanted custard, friend A wanted jam.

5 people 20 doughnuts later …....

Once the children had parked me at the beach with the bags (right next to the toilets and behind a giant ice cream cone) they vanished to explore the pier ect.

Almost immediately my 2 square inches of beach was invaded by the dour and dismal family. Don't get me wrong, the kids were ok but the mother!!!! One of those 'Im not happy until I've sucked ever last bit of pleasure out of an outing for my children'.

Sun cream slapped on every exposed body part along with accompanying grumbles when the child got sand in it (hello, we ARE at the beach).

Instructions on where to play (within 2 feet), what to play (nothing that involved nasty, dirty sand) and constant changing of children's clothes, like a conjurer pulling ribbon out his mouth she had a seemingly endless supply of clean clothes in a tardis like bag.

No wonder the poor kids had to be ordered to SMILE when it was time for the 'happy day with the grumps at the beach' photo.