Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Braless in Boden

Linking up with the Weekend Rewind

A couple of days ago I came across a post on Facebook that made me sit up and take notice.  Now in general the stuff on there doesn’t really excite me much, I’m not one for having hundreds ‘friends’ which is just as well as apparently hundreds of people don't WANT to be my friend anyway.

Mine is a mixture of old and new friends.  Or, as my Christmas post said:

‘Merry Christmas my old friends, my new friends and the rest of you, whoever the hell you are’.

Anyway, having only 70 odd friends can sometimes make for a boring FB with not much happening.  Sometimes I feel obliged to liven things up a little, sometimes I just leave it alone for a while.

Back to the point!

Maggie’s update (and yes Maggiemoo, I’m naming you!!!)  said:

Has anyone got a couple of small bits of felt in black and white that I could have (will pay postage) - I need to do some mending!!

Just a couple of things wrong with this!!!  Firstly, I know they have shops where you live Maggie and it’s only felt you want not the belly fur of a silver yak, wouldn’t it be easier to pop down to the local haberdashery and pick up some rather than getting someone to post it to you and then having to go to the trouble of going into town anyway to post off postage???  Just saying …………..

Secondly, who the bloody hell is this person impersonating my pal Maggie? I sat there repeating Maggie, mending, Maggie, mending, Maggie mending,  over and over in my head and even out loud to see if it made any more sense but no, my brain could not compute.  Maggie throws away, Maggie wears with holes,  Maggie does NOT mend!

SO WHO ATE MY MAGGIE??? Prime culprits are one of those damn Boden Mums from the forums she keep inexplicable joining.

Comments came in thick and fast.

what sort of size are you after? I might have a bit

I have felt the equivalent size to A4 paper if you want it

How about I give you some from the pieces I have, I can let you have them at school tomorrow?

I have some sourced from a pygmy tribe in Azerbaijan, 400 thread count but only in black and red (ok, I made that one up)

No one asked what she wanted it for, Maggie, what the fuck do you want it for?????

I only need a couple of cm's square - need it to keep the underwire bits in my bra!! (Ok, Boden Mummy, sick up my Maggie now, it’s not funny and it’s not clever!)

OF COURSE.  Like it's the most normal thing in the world to mend a bra! Like, if you WERE actually going to mend a bra of COURSE it would be with black and white felt. Like, if you were going to mend a bra with black and white felt the most obvious thing to do is to turn to your FB buddies for help?????

My suggestions for alternatives to the felt:
little squares of wholemeal toast, 
gummy bears,
old till receipts (which I was willing to post to her)
kitten fluff and
a bicycle inner tube were unanimously ignored as most of my more helpful inventive comments are.

Is there anybody out there who’s actually mended a bra (discounting the times when a straps snapped in public sending your boob plummeting south) and was felt the first thing that sprang to mind when you did????  Has a Boden Mummy eaten one of your dearest friends and have you manages to get them to regurgitate her?  Is there Hope for Maggie?

Yours, confused (and a little scared and missing Maggie) ……………………. 


Gemma @ My Big Nutshell said...

Your friend Maggie sounds bloody funny!

I'm So Fancy said...

That was hilarious! Now if I were looking for silver yak hair could you help?

Sarah Mac said...

I'm really, really, REALLY hoping she meant to be funny Gemma but I fear for her!

Ah but ARE you looking for silver yak hair Fancy?? Kitten fluff and wholemeal toast I can send return of post, yak hair may take a little longer.

Nel said...

I live near the Boden shop. Sometimes I like to go and just brush shoulders with the mummies in there to try and get some of their perfect mumminess transferred by osmosis.

Sandra said...

I found the "perfect" bra, once. In Target. I cannot describe how perfect it was, just take my word for it...
But one strap just *snapped off* from the back bit-thingy where you could un-clip it to make it a cross-back etc...
There was no fixing it (not by me, anyway)...I kept that bra in my undies drawer for a couple of years...just to remind me of how perfect it had once been...I looked and looked but never found one like it.
Chucked it out a few months ago ...

Khushi said...

Oh gosh! :P
Thanks for droppin' a comment by my post Sarah!
I am so glad that you like the way I write, cause look at you, your way more experienced then what I am. Hehe.
Anyways, I hope your friend does NOT have to do that ever again! God bless her and her bra! :P

Sarah Mac said...

Nel, i love the idea that perfect mumminess could be transferred by osmosis! I'll never be a perfect Mum, far too scatty and disorganised but hopefully my children will have some fun along the way. Happy to come and giggle in the shop with you if you ever need some moral support though.

I don't think I've ever found the perfect bra Sandra. I almost had myself measured with a friend in a very posh shop once but the extremely snooty lady serving put us in our place by saying 'we don't MEASURE madam, we FIT' and then proceeded to tell my friend she had a very strange cleavage so I decided not to bother, I have enough insecurities thank you!

Thank you Khushi, I do love the way you write. Very different to me, mine's a bit of nonsense really. Yours makes your world come alive, i find it fascinating!

Martyr-hood said...

I myself have recently found myself to be a bit like your friend Maggie...although I won't get into specifics (breast pump).
For shame.
I shall go and scrub myself in the shower now.

Sarah Mac said...

Ahh, maybe that's the key, Maggie has 4 littlies. I guess she has realised the value of a good bra. Hmmm, still can't see me doing it though :)

Anonymous said...

I'm so dense. I have no idea what a Boden Mummy is. I'm off to google it now!

Sarah Mac said...

Hmm, well, a Boden Mummy probably isn't an official label Sarah, it's more an image I have in my mind. She's a little older than the Yummy Mummy and dresses more conservatively. She drives a shiny 4x4 or a people carrier and she and her children always look like they have been newly laundered and ironed. She bakes and sews and joins committees and is on first name terms with the Headmistress. The truth is, I'm a little envious of her because she doesn't seem to lurch from disaster to disaster and she's never rooting through the washing basket for a school shirt that might just pass as clean at 7:30 on a Friday morning. My attempts to emulate her always end in farce and I can't imagine her ever wanting to emulate me. It's probably wildly inaccurate like most labels and, as I said, definitely based an a certain level of envy :)

maggiemoo said...

mmmmm, not really sure what to say!! I am Maggie!! :)I'm mending the bras cos I am sick of the underwires sticking out and poking me under my quadruple chin! These bras came from Rigby and Peller, and cost mega bucks, they are gorgeous, they give me a cleavage, and I am determined to get my money's worth out of them!! (they've already lasted almost 3 years, but have probably got another 10 years in them!!) - one of my buddies who is very make do and mend a la Kirstie Allsopp gave me the tip of mending them with felt, and I didn't fancy going into a fabric shop and asking for 1cm square of black and white felt - hence my FB post. And just for your reference, Boden don't sell anything to fit my massive arse and my huge jelly belly, I'm more of a BHS plus size person these days ;) Love you xxxxx (and I forgive you cos you have made me laugh SOOO much this evening xx)

maggiemoo said...

and reading through the comments above, I had forgotten about the time we went to the posh bra shop - the woman at Rigby and Peller (Chelsea branch doncha know!) didn't make any comments about me having a strange cleavage!! Is that shop still there? xx

Sarah Mac said...

No, the shop and snotty assistant are long gone, and I wasnt going to name you as the friend, I figured Id shamed you enough :) xx