Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Five Sentence Fiction - Exquisite

A whisper of woodsmoke trickled from her mouth as she exhaled, clinging like a cobweb in her throat it threatened to choke her before drifting harmlessly into the still air.
Lying motionless and alone she gently ran her fingers through her soul.
The searing heat had stripped the flesh from her bones, taking with it the light from her eyes, the trust from her heart, consuming everything in it's path -  everything that made her whole ...  leaving her burnt, bloodied, mangled and destroyed  ...  everything that is but her passion -  a passion she had carried for several lifetimes - a passion that lingered in her blood, renewing her body when seemingly nothing remained.
Rising naked and reborn, dust swirling in her wake, she breathed deeply before allowing a soft smile of regret to briefly touch her lips.
As she stretched out a bare foot from the ashes towards the cool damp grass she paused and tenderly blew a kiss before silently slipping away.


Jazzbumpa said...

This is easily the strangest FSF I've read. It even out-weirds the one with the giant spiders.

Reminds me a bit of Daenerys Targaryen, though I don't believe she was phoenix-like in this way.

There must be an elaborate back-story, and much more to come. Well done, and very intriguing.


Kelloggs Ville said...

are the ashes literal or a representation? Or is that entirely up to me?

very powerful

Wayne Assiratti said...

A phoenix from the ashes. Very evocative.



Josie Two Shoes said...

Dancing with imagery, making me want more, seeking to understand what we have witnessed. Beautifully done... amazing!

Anonymous said...

Truly exquisite, I kept coming back to that (georgous) photo. Who is she? What (or who) happened to her?

Id like to know her back story too if it's been written but right now I'm far more interested in her future.

(did I mention that gorgous photo ...)

Sarah said...

Thank you JzB - I had to google Daenerys Targaryen and I like the idea of her being a similar yet different kind of character.

There is a huge backstory to this although the style of this post is very different (the story of Rock Chick can be found in my side bar). There's also a lot more to come I hope.

It's entirely up to you K ;) For me it started as a representation of her moving forward into a new part of her life, but, if I have it in me, I would like to continue in the same style and try a different kind of writing.

Thank you Wayne

Thanks Josie, there's so much surrounding this story, it's like a tiny snapshot which is a style I feel most comfortable with - I'd like to think that one day I could link them all together in some meaningful way.

Thank you anon - exquisite is refering to the pain that has to be sxperienced before a rebirth is possible - these are just the very first moments of her new life.

Andrew Swingler said...

Rebirth. I love this concept - it's something that's playing a lot on my mind at the moment, so I really appreciate this post. I'd love to see more in this style and perhaps even a follow-up to this tale - this character seems so intriguing. Fantastic.

Anne @ Domesblissity said...

Thank you lovely Sarah for your comment. I love how you still pop by. xx

Sarah said...

Thank you Andrew - it's been playing on my mind too lately. My latest FSF is a follow up but Im not sure where this goes next.

Always Anne xx

Car said...

the naked rising read very phoenix rising from the ashes to me, powerful writing Sarah!