Wednesday, 15 April 2015

A Little Bit Of Randomness ...

So the other day some woman asked SD if he was my support worker ...

I'm just going to let you have a couple of seconds to let that sink in ....

She said it in all seriousness ...

I was speechless!!

SD was a little torn I think.  Torn between trying not to laugh at the outraged expression on my face.  Torn between the shock that someone had seriously asked him that and torn between actually confessing that much of the time that's exactly what he thought he might be!

I remained speechless ...

SD steered me gently in the direction of my favourite cafe by the river.  Sat me down in a chair outside in the sunshine.  Enquired solicitously if I would like a rug for my knees (which they provide for those chilly days when you still want to sit in the fresh air) and left me while he went in search of restorative coffee and cake all the while glancing over his shoulder to check that I was still where he left me.

He returned bearing coffee and the little shot glasses of smarties that they serve with hot drinks and carefully picked out the orange smarties from his glass (which I love the most) and swapped them with the pink smarties in my glass (which I have for some reason a peculiar aversion to).

He contemplated me for a while before asking that age old question:

'Sarah, WTF are you doing???'

It was a warm day and I was wearing a little summer dress but, in deference to the fact that it IS only April I'd teamed it with my favourite long line cable knit cream cardigan rather than a jacket.

I WAS a little agitated.  I'd taken the cardigan off and was turning it over and over, up side down and inside out and beginning to get a little frustrated.

'I can't find the pocket' I wailed ...  'I can't find the pocket and I need my tissue ....'

'And that bloody woman thought you were my SUPPORT WORKER!!!' - 'WHY would she think that???'

SD looked at me manically pawing at my cardie before glancing at my rejected pink smarties and his mouth twitched, and he coughed, and his eyes crinkled slightly as he cleared his throat and he said:

'I have absolutely NO idea!'

Which was the RIGHT answer because neither did I!

In other news ...

They say the things that make you different make you the same - or stronger - or something, I'm not quite sure what it is they say to be honest and SD and I agree on many things but there are some ways in which we differ greatly.

One of those things is in regard to towels!

In my head a towel is either used or dirty.

SD has a three fold system for towels.

Clean - in use - dirty.

I have a real problem with this 'in use' thing - just exactly how many times do you use a towel before it's dirty?

As far as I'm concerned, I used it, it's dirty - SIMPLE!

I don't get where you draw the line.  I don't want to use the same towel that some one has used to dry their 'personal area' - I don't care if they have just washed said 'area' - what if I used the same bit to dry my face??

My method is far more simple - you use the towel and then you stick it in the wash.

But apart from that, and lists, and eating lemon cake (even though he doesn't like it and I love it so I want to eat it all!!) and a few other things far to mundane to mention SD and I agree on most things.

Miss Mac sent me a text the other evening when she was in bed.  This is her preferred means of communication once she has retired because she is far too lazy to get up and actually tell me what it is she wants to say.

Usually the text will be something along the lines of:

'My hottie is cold - this makes me sad' - translation - can you re fill my hot water bottle or:

'There is a bug in my room' - translation - please bring a magnifying glass so that you can see and remove this microscopic bug on the far wall of my bedroom or I will end up in your bed for the night.

Last night I simply got one that said:

'Don't be alarmed, I'm in my pants'

I wasn't unduly alarmed as it happened but I was a little confused that she had felt the need to tell me and also unsure what the correct response should be to that message.  I just nodded wisely to myself and carried on reading my book.

Then a couple of minutes later she sent me another one:

'So could you get me a glass of water please?'


Actually it was quite refreshing not to have that thought directed towards me for a change.

I went to investigate.

It turned out that she had sent me a text asking for a glass of water BEFORE sending the pants message but I didn't get it for some reason.  The pants message was apparently so I didn't make the mistake of either thinking she was naked or, as was more likely, jumping into bed with her for a cuddle when I went up and thus creating a slightly awkward situation for us both.


joeh said...

IO don't know what a "Support Worker" is.

I'm with SD, unless it is someone else's towel, then I'm with you.

Don't worry, I'm wearing pants!

Karen @Baking In A Tornado said...

I hate that my kids try to text me when I'm in the same house as them. I always tell them to please just come talk to me.
Of course that could partially be because the few times I've needed them to come, called to them and they haven't heard me, then gave in and texted them, they ignored me!

K Ville said...

I'm confused, can I have a glass of water if I'm not wearing pants?

Is asking if someone is a support worker worse than offering a fat women your seat and her telling you she wasn't pregnant? Just checking. I'm hoping support worker wins, in my defence she was really carrying that weight up front and I didn't suggest she worked on her core muscles, no sireee I managed to internalise that thought!

We all have our own towels and they are all dirty on a Thursday, always. Sometimes they may be properly dirty and then they go to laundry before Thursday but always dirty on a Thursday even if it was fresh out on a Wednesday!

Emma Kate at Paint and Style said...

That is the height of laziness! I hope you reprimand her most severely.
Oh, wait. I do that. I'll be all snuggled in bed and realise I forgot my tablet and well, I phone Jason who's in the office downstairs. But stair climbing is good exercise so it's good for him really. Isn't it? I'm so considerate.
The support worker story was funny!xx

Jenniy French said...

Im a towel resuser too. I read an article that used sciencey reasoning to say you can use a towel up to 3 times and a rag only once. Plus it cuts down on the amount of laundry you do so there's at least some kind of benefit. Ha.

Sarah said...

I should have explained Joe. A support worker basically does what it says on the tin. They provide invaluable support for vulnerable people who, for whatever reason struggle, allowing them to integrate more fully into society. It's not something to really talk about lightly and I have a great deal of respect for them. I think it was just the fact that my compentance was yet again being called into question which is understandable from someone who knows me but this woman had never met me before - of course, that might just make her very perceptive! Always pleased to hear that my readers are wearing pants (which by the way means underwear here in England rather than trousers ...)

It drives me nuts Karen - I usually ignore the texts but this one intrigued me :-)

No pants - no water - that's the rule in THIS house K ;-) - Pregnant/fat woman wins hands down I'm afraid ... I do like the towel arrangement though, perhaps I should introduce that and save a lot of confusion!

I did Emma Kate - oh wait, no I didn't ... I do though as I said above, usually ignore the test and wait until she comes to me.

Remind me never to show SD that article Jenni - I know I create far too much washing doing it my way but I just can't cope with damp towels.

Brighton Pensioner said...

Re the towels, I've been puzzling whether (a) you do a lot of laundry or (b) you don't wash very often.

Sarah said...

It's a combination of (a) and (c) BP - I have a lot of towels :-)

Holly Hollyson said...

I like what Brighton Pensioner said above! We have an in use pile too - normally they are the ones on the hooks! If they smell they get washed. We are pretty gross though :p

pam said...

Towels...people don't discuss this enough. I used to keep all the towels in the bathroom and then discard after one use. However, now that we have mice in the airing cupboard, it has cut down on washing because now, I allocate towels. Girls have 2 each (one for hair and one for bodies) and boys..one large very dark towel. Hair towels have three strikes and out and body towels are up to the users discretion but certainly cannot outlive the hair towels. Unfortunately, boys do not have a sell-by date on towels and sometimes, I have to rip it from where it has stuck to the radiator after following the smell. Hope that helps x

Sarah said...

It helps enormously PP (or at least, I'm sure it WILL when I've read it a few more times ...) - Can't tell you how lovely it is to see you again!! xxx