Write On Wednesdays Exercise 24 - This week is a Choose Your Own Adventure week. Look to your left...In my sidebar you will find a list of the WoW writing exercises. Pick a prompt that takes your fancy and make it work for you. Maybe you will work on yourNaNo story or another writing project or perhaps just a bit of creative exploration. You might even like to share your favorite book genre with us and then use the prompt to work on a similar theme.
I'm going to go with week 5's Write the Music. It's something that for me seems to fit well with my writing.
Casting Shadows
Closing the door she rested her head against the cool glass pane before turning and slowly sliding to the floor.
He would still be standing in the street where, once again, she had left him .
Confused, unhappy, frustrated at her inability to give him the one thing he so desperately wanted.
Herself.
Wrapping her arms around her knees she pulled them tightly against her chest.
The intensity of his passion both warmed and repelled her.
Her body cried out for comfort. For oblivion.
Her heart had no voice at all.
How long she sat there hugging herself she wasn't sure but gradually the chill of the tiles and the ridge of the door frame pressing into her back permeated her conciousness.
She was tired. So very tired of being lonely and alone.
Slowly she unravelling herself and reached for the door.
He was gone ...
Pulling her phone from her pocket, her fingers poised to send the message that would bring him back she saw:
"Io sono innamorato di te"
She allowed her hand to fall back to her side as a shadow passed silently across the face of the moon .
18 comments:
Not often that a post sends me off to learn Italian - and discover a bit of Italian music! When's the novel coming out?
Wow. Beautiful. I see a movie here! Seriously, the scene is so vivid. So much emotion.
Ha ha, maybe one day I'll put all the pieces together and see what happens Fiona :)
Hmm, now you have me thinking Zanni - who would play Rock Chick ... Monica Bellucci maybe? :)
This piece really works with the music, I could already see the scene take place in my head.
I think you could even simplify the terminology in some of your sentences and it would be just as powerful.
For example 'equal measure' could easily become equally and be a little less heavy on the tongue.
I really like your writing. The emotions are so real, you should take that movie idea to the next level speaking from experience I know that your stories would be gold in Hollywood.
Re-reading this I could see you were absolutely right TV - I've made a couple of minor changes that I think makes it read much more succinctly - thank you :)
Love the idea of a movie or a novel, who knows ...
This was a very powerful and emotional piece, and I loved every word! The emotions felt by the main character were so real, and the music fit perfectly. I really enjoyed reading this, and I hope this story has a happy ending!
Claire
Thank you Claire - I have no idea yet how or where this ends.
I hope there is a happy ending somewhere too :)
Interesting what Zanni said about seeing this as a movie scene. You do write with very small details, perhaps you could try some script writing, even?! Ever tried it?
I like the sense of mood we get here. I hope there is a happy ending too!
Intense! You've portrayed the moment in great detail - it's always good to read characters that make you feel you are in their skin. A bit of added suspense with me googling a translator. :)
This is a beautiful, emotional piece. I really loved the "her heart had no voice" line. I could feel the intensity of her loneliness that she was experiencing.
I too can see this as a movie scene. Great job!
Thanks Gill - no, I haven't tried any script writing - I'm not sure what it entails but maybe I will look into it :)
Thank you Melinda - it's great when people can feel they are a part of Rock Chick - much of what I write is based in fact which may help to keep it feeling real.
Thank you Stephanie - at that point she was driven by loneliness so maybe it's just as well she didn't send that text :)
This goes so beautifully with this song (which is just gorgeous - I have always liked it a lot). So dreamy, and heartbreaking x
Thank you Jayne :) x
Eros Ramazotti has to sing at least one of the songs in the movie!! Awesome, as per usual!
YUM - having just googled him (I am shamed by my ignorance) I think I'll play rock Chick and he can be my leading man!
I really like this piece, Sarah. It's full of emotion, as Zanni said, and it shows how little control people often have of certain situations, especially when they are important ones. The sentence in italian was the perfect touch for me; it is such a romantic language, and I love its sound and texture; it was a great detail.
Concerning the film, I rather imagine Rock Chick as Jena Malone meets Ellen Page, only five or ten years older than either of them. ;)
/ Rain
Thank you Rain and yes, Jena Malone - great choice!
Italian is such a beautiful language isn't it?
Sì, bellissimo. =)
/ Rain
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