Saturday, 24 December 2011

And So Is This Christmas?

The tree glows and sparkles,the presents piled beneath

Fairy lights twinkle around picture frames and doors.

The fridge is laden with festive food.

Reindeer food, a mixture of oats and glitter lies waiting to be sprinkled on the path and thrown in a shimmering cloud into the lights from the street.

There it will stay.

The food uneaten, presents still wrapped.

The glow of the lights have lost their magic.

Tomorrow, like today, I will wake alone.

Yesterday, in a culmination of threats, abuse and obscene photos my children were snatched by their father.


joeh said...

How sad, for you and especially for the children.

Here is hoping grownups figure it out and do the right thing.

I put up with constant BS from my ex. I think she is pissed off that I didn't kill myself when she left me for her cheating piece of shit ex-boy friend. My revenge? He is stuck with her and her insanity.

Sorry, it sounds like you are having the same kind of insanity in your life. Best wishes that it gets better!


E. said...

Oh, Sarah. I am so sorry.

I'm thinking of you and your children especially at this time of year.

Rollercoaster Mum said...

Oh my God, I cannot imagine what that must feel like, I am so sorry. Big big hugs. I hope you manage to resolve it but how awful now of all times. Don't know what else to say, hugs again xxx

Germ Freak Laura said...

I'm so sorry, Sarah! Wow, that's so very sad! My heart aches for you. May 2012 be a better, happier year! (Maybe the ex will fall down & break his rotten neck?!)

Car said...

I'm so sorry to read that :(

pam said...


I cried the whole time the first year that it happened to me and still 7 years on, when they aren't with me, I don't go to anyone else for christmas or new year (we alternate). I just have a completely solitary but self indulgent time. The difference is that I have finally learned to use that time and enjoy it. I assume that they aren't away permanently, although it might feel like it now. It seems so unfair when they do fuck all the rest of the year except make life even harder. Anyway, you aren't alone -I'm here. xxxx

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks Joe - I've heard of people being in this kind of situation, I could never have imagined it would be me one day.

Thanks E - the children are ok (well pysically anyway) and I did eventually manage to speak to them.

Thanks RCM - hugs MUCH appreciated :)

Thanks Laura - I can live in hope ;)

Thank you Car

Thanks PP - I wanted to spend the day on my own, something people didnt understand so Im afraid I told LOTS of lies (sorry anyone I lied to). I didn't cry at all today until I walked the dog this evening and saw all the boxes and christmas wrapping in peoples bins. Silly things that get to you. I kept thinking that should be my bin but the presents are still under the tree.

The stupid thing is that I had agreed (reluctantly I'll admit) to the children spending some time with their Dad over Christmas but his behaviour had become so erratic I had to revise that to supervised access only - unfortunately he doesnt like being told what he can and cant have and this was his way of telling me that I cant tell him what to do. Rightly so it appears until I have a residency order which will be rushed through the courts as soon as they reopen next week.

Thank you - our little community really can be a lifeline at times as well as a sounding board.

Hopefully normal, scatty and ridiculose behavior will be resumed shortly ;) xxxx

Catherine said...

Sarah, I'm so sorry to hear about this at any time but at Christmas?? Horrible and I can only hope that karma kicks in and kicks hard. Thinking of you!

pam said...

Reposted it

I hope the Christmas sentimentality helps rather than hinders. but I meant every word x

Feisty Cat said...

Ah, Sarah M. I am so sorry. I can only say that it eventually ends.

Take good care of yourself. Happy holidays my blogging friend.

--Feisty Cat

Kelloggsville said...

When are they back? Christmas without the children stinks. I completely decorated the kitchen one year to avoid it. Watching the happy ever after movies that constantly play doesn't help either. Recommend solace in chocolate, a slacket and sex in the city. Hope you are ok xx

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks FC and K. Im not sure when they are back. Hopefully voluntarily in the next day or two. Ill keep you posted. X

Jayne said...

Jaysus, Sarah.

I'm sorry you and the kids are dealing with this shit.

I hope they're home with you, safe and sound by now xx

Finding a skinnier me said...

All I can say is I am sorry.. can't imagine what that must feel like!

I hope it gets better and easier for you.

Maggie said...

Oh Sarah, what a shitty fucking wanker he is (I won't apologise for my language, he deserves every expletive he gets) - I really hope that the legal system gets you the kids back on a proper formal basis, and I hope twatface gets to rot in hell for ever. Hopefully the kids are ok, and are starting to realise that he is not the super loving caring dad that he likes to think he is