fudge

Thursday, 20 October 2011

Hmmm

I've been talking about my blog tonight and re-reading a few of the recent posts as well as some of the old ones.

I don't know...

I wonder if some of the people who started reading my blog at the beginning would even recognise me as the same person?

I wonder if some of the people who know me in real life would recognise me at all?

I know blogs evolve just like people do and there is nothing wrong with that. But I wonder if I didn't prefer mine how it used to be ... little anecdotes, the funny, silly things I do or that seem to happen to me.

The thing is, that's still me.  That's who I am.  I haven't really changed.

Obviously the newer readers are reading it BECAUSE of the newer posts so they do appeal.

You know, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this ...

I think what's been worrying me is something I've talked about before.  Am I analysing too much?  Am I thinking too much about what I'm going to write or what I've written. Or maybe I'm not thinking enough?

Am I allowing myself to be influenced by what I predict peoples reaction may be.*

I like to think my blog is honest and I certainly don't write anything that isn't true (well apart from an element of fiction in my WoW posts)  but I'm not sure that's the same thing.

God, I'm not sure even I understand that!

I'm sitting here trying to put into words how I'm feeling right now and for someone who loves to write it's bloody frustrating not to be able to.

Are you sitting there scratching your head asking, 'what the bloody hell is she talking about?'

I know I am :)


that's the one that REALLY bothers me *

11 comments:

Adam said...

You sound like you are in a period of deep self-examination (that sounds way ruder than it is!!) and are reassessing who you are. I guess blog posts are a way to track that change. Just don't fall into the trap of being to hard on oneself and being too critical. Maybe go zen: recognise and release!


On a completely irrelevant note: today I bought a didgeridoo as an impulse buy! I shall try not to be self-analytical about that decision!

Sarah Mac said...

Maybe Adam. The recognition bit I don't have a problem with. I just need to work on the releasing bit.

Seems a shame to give up on the self abuse (see, I can out rude you ;) when I'm sooo good at it.

A didgeridoo, great impulse buy, go and make LOTS of noise!

I bought a large blue glass ball yesterday, I'm going to have to think about what that might say about me!

B said...

Oh Sara... if only you lived next door, I could really do with a cup of tea and a chat with you.

Would you believe that I have written a blog post almost identical to this one? I am bored with me, bored with my blog, bored with my little life right now.

Whatever shall we do! What ever shall we DO!

Sigh... I know that for now, I am going to go and talk to my dear friend CraftyMummy. She is always good for a bloggy chat. Sigh.

Sarah Mac said...

Life feels very ho hum right now B, a cup of tea and a chat would be sooo nice.

Maybe I will make that move to Oz. There are so many lovely blogggers Id like to meet up with over there (although I may leave it until after Magpie season:)

I feel like I'm manically filling my life with things right now and over blogging just to prove that I DO have a life.

The trouble is, I'm not sure that the life I'm living really is mine ...

Sigh indeed ... x

BERLINA said...

LOL. Well, i sat here wondering what the bloody hell you are talking about, but on the other hand we all row in the same boat. I have read only 2 of your posts so far, have to get to the others. Anyway, we write what and how we feel at that specific moment. No worries, we get you. lol. Get a soda and relax. I would have offered you some vodka, but its damn expensive.

Sarah Mac said...

But I make so much more sense after a drop of the distilled potato Berlina ... (or do I just care less??).

Funny really, I'm often thought of as reserved in real life, not something I think I could be accused of on my blog ;)

pam said...

I know exactly what you mean too Sarah

I have been wondering the same things today. And also, wondering whether my blog should be filled with personal stuff and who in the hell needs to know my inner angst?Should I be writing creatively, writing as therapy or to humorously. Do I know what I am doing at all?

I wish I could call myself an artist and then all this self doubt and angst would be part of the process.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Things might appear clearer if you tried channelling your inner ape.

Sarah Mac said...

I'll give that some thought GB ;)

Car said...

even though your posts may feel not you right now, in a few months go back and read them and Im sure you will see differently.personally I find it difficult to relate to current posts, especially if I am in a funk like I have been these past few weeks, but a few onths on they will make sense of how I am right now... Am I making sense?

oh and definitely move to Oz, we get to wear thongs 9 months of the year here ;) and magpies - meh, we have mummies and bubs in our yard and they dont attack... Shame I cant say the same about the darned plovers though LOL

Sarah Mac said...

It does make sense Car - sometimes I think that's what I'm trying to do when I write the posts.

Moving to Oz may be a bit of a pipe dream - it's all in place for me but it's not just me I have to consider unfortunately.