Saturday, 5 November 2011

Back Of The Net

If you were hoping for a post about football stop reading now ;)

I know nada about footy but I do know a little about Internet dating some of which I thought I'd share.

A couple of things recently got me thinking about my time on a dating website.

One was a post by Lorie about Internet Dating.

One was a status update on FB.

The other was a post from Fiona asking 'Why Do You Blog'?

Now, I've spoken a little before about my experience of Internet dating.  In fact, my blog wouldn't exist with out it.

The dating website I was on had a diary facility.  I used to have a little read through from time to time and to be honest, with only a few exceptions, it was enough to put me off the diary writers for life!

I seriously though about starting up a self help group teaching people how to sell themselves (not literally you understand).

The diary proved to be quite popular and I had a bit of a regular following.

Fiona asked me why I'd left the sight and was it because I'd met my 'Mr Perfect' so I said I would reveal all and here it is:

Well, yes and no Fiona.

I did meet someone very special and that IS why I left the site.  Someone very far from perfect (just like me:).

 But, well ...

Anyway, that's not what this post is about.  In THIS post I am going to share with you a few of the smiles that Internet dating brought me.

Loris experiences are in someways similar to my own (although I have to admit, I've never had anyone think my name was douche!).

Ok, now I have always said that I wouldn't make fun of anyone that contacted me through the site.  Many of them struggled to express themselves.  For some English wasn't their first language.  Some had obvious issues with spelling and grammar.

None of the above particularly bothered me.  I was far more interested in what they had to say not how they said it.

So yes, I will share the content of some messages but I shan't be naming names:

This one made me smile and we did in fact meet up for a coffee:

"I guess you get a thousand plus messages a day on here,...gorgeous pic ....,........so,.... fingers and indeed toes crossed that you look at and read my bits on here and come back and say hi,............I come with no government health warnings, skeletons in cupboards, grey hairs or ASBO's,.....but I do come 

Okay without anymore waffle I will press send and let this site work its magic,............ "

Of COURSE he was a player and I don't run as part of a crowd but in was in the early days when I knew no better ...


"hello 18:40, 13/07/10 
i will like to know you and be your frined,if you are interested can you get in torch with me"

Well I wasn't so I didn't


In response to a request to meet up that I politely declined:

RE: hello 19:04, 13/07/10 
"thanks i quite appreciate your frankness and wish you well too,but incase you have a friend that might be interested in me let me know i dont mind coming to see the fellow"


"Could you be my soil mate?"

You know what?  I VERY much doubt it!


"sudece my boby if you like whot you see..."

YUM, well, I really, really did like what I saw but he was far too young so I sent a message back offering to give him English lessons instead!


And got the reply:

"heve you dan 3 same be 4 id couple?"

Ha ha, THAT served me right! ;)


Really didn't know HOW to answer this one (so I didn't)

"Do you keep bees and scuba dive?  If so, you are an enigma and possibly my ideal woman"


Oh, and not forgetting Robbie (yes you SHOULD be named and shamed)  The only one who 

a) asked if he could be my 'tatty bear' and

 b) got extremely offensive when I said no.

A few very sweet VERY young guys sent me messages which was when I discovered that lots of these sites are linked and I was being featured on a toy boy website!

In response to one slightly over eager young guy I did respond:

 'Alex, I have a CAT older than you!'

My advice if you are tempted to go down this road? 

Treat it as a bit of fun.  Don't expect too much and who knows, the worst that might happen is that you have a few laughs and a bit of an ego boost.

I don't have any regrets (well, not many, not really ....)


Rollercoaster Mum said...

tee hee that made me laugh - love the cat comment!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you have had quite a bit of fun with the old internet dating, as have I, although it is thanks to internet dating that I met my wonderful S and have moved out here to sunny SoCal.

I have to admit to meeting a few frogs before I finally found my prince - some of whom were actually Nigerian or Ghanian scammers (thank god I didn't fall into that trap. Many people thought I was insane for even trying internet dating, but all I can say is that I have truly found my prince among men and couldn't be happier!


Ps. Went for 'Our home in the Sun' for my change of blog name...lol


Kimmie said...

Omg too funny - a cat older than you and soil mate bwahahahaha

Sarah Mac said...

Ha ha - sad thing was that it was TRUE RM :)

Hey Lou - saw the blog name had changed - for a minute I thought someone had hijacked my blog roll! (you decided against Dunroamin' then;).

I know a couple of people it's worked out for, you included and I'd advise anyone to give it a go but just to keep things in perspective really.

For me things sadly didn't work out as I'd hoped but I made some great, hopefully lifelong friends :)

Sarah Mac said...

Oh yes Kimmie, I was truly blessed with my admirers :)

Belinda said...

LOL soil mate..

I would have responded "hmm maybe you are fertiliser? because I smell bullshit"

Too harsh? bwahaha! *reasons why I am single*

I feel your pain.. It's a tough world out there in internet dating land.

Anonymous said...

That did make me laugh! Being 17 myself, thats all i ever put up with with guys. lol

helloitsgemma said...

Oh my gosh - what a collection of responses.
I wonder if they ever found their Ms Right??

Mammasaurus said...

Ha ha internet dating is a humorous old territory for me thank goodness.
I used to love the replies that were a whole semi erotic story that you just know that they sent out to every woman!
I once came across a guy who's little bit about himself just read (caps lock and all!)

Um yeah because you aren't at all scary!!!

Pleased to meet you by the way! And if I can be extra cheeky and ask if you'd like to join in showcasing your blog over at http://lovemummyblogs.com or http://lovenewblogs.com then we'd love to have you :)

Sarah Mac said...

Ha ha, love it. It reminds me of the one who sent me a message saying:

'you seem semi intelligent. If and I mean IF I were to decide to meet up with you then I feel we may have something in common but please don't get your hopes up'

I sent back a message saying that unfortunately one thing we didn't share was his complete and utter arrogance (altho' I may have phrased it slightly differently)

And thank you - always happy to inflict myself on the unsuspecting ;)

Sarah Mac said...

I SO should have Belinda!

Ahh CJL - I'd like to say it gets better ....

Scary thought that there might just be a Ms Right for some of them Gemma ;)

Kelloggsville said...

The soiled mate gave me an image I didn't need. Eva Braun and all that. Met my hub on the net.

Germ Freak Laura said...

A dear friend of mine met a guy on Facebook this summer, fell in "love" with him (his lies anyway)& packed everything up & moved across country to live with him. She soon found out he had some very odd sexual fetishes, a wicked temper when thwarted, & he was expecting her to be free slave labor on his big farm since he was disabled from a stroke. Egads! I'm glad I'm happily married. Good luck to you in your search for a perfect mate - & all others in the same boat!

Sarah Mac said...

Couldn't decide if he had actually said what he meant K (and didn't want to find out!). Hmm, well, I haven't ventured back - once bitten ... ;) But I know, it really does seem to work for some people.

God Laura - that is truly awful. I guess I can think myself lucky really. I had a couple of ok dates. One that sent me to sleep and a few months of something very special.

Germ Freak Laura said...

Well, she was able to get away from him a month later. She was an emotional wreck for awhile, but is doing much, much better now!

Weird thing is after she left him, he had another stroke & died shortly thereafter!