Sunday, 6 November 2011


It's been an odd sort of weekend.

The awful, tragic accident on Friday night.

A Saturday filled with phone calls, text messages, FB messages, blog comments and emails.

Love and concern from so many people.

 It really touched my heart knowing how many people cared or thought of me when they saw the news.

No, by luck, good fortune, karma.  Whatever you think it may have been, we weren't involved.

Many others weren't as lucky.

By complete contrast, a total  lack of care and concern or indeed interest from someone who should have been the first to reach for the phone.  My mind is still struggling with that one.

I feel discombobulated.

My pieces have been thrown into the air and I don't know where they all landed.

Not sleeping probably doesn't help but then I'm not so good at sleeping at the best of times.

Is blogging about this when I feel like this a good idea?

Probably not ....

As was said in a previous comment on one of my posts - ' if you are like me, you write to make sense of the world'. 

It's true, sometimes that IS what I'm trying to do but sometimes, sometimes it's because I can't make sense of it and I'm looking for answers.  

Sometimes I find them.  

Sometimes I'm given them.

But there are times when the answers evade me or make no sense and the pieces of my puzzle remain missing.


Nikki - A Mother in France said...

Oh dear, it sounds like your going through a rough patch. Lack of sleep will definitely not help. When I'm stressed I find it difficult to sleep and then lack of sleep just exacerbates the situation! I've found it helps to do something completely different - something to take your mind off everything and then I often find when I revisit my problems I can find a solution or they're not as bad as I thought they were. I hope this makes sense as it's late and I should be in bed, but couldn't get on the computer till now. Night night x

Sarah Mac said...

Thank you Nikki. Lack of sleep certainty doesn't help.

I know I over analysis things. I like things to have answers that make sense.

Sometimes I guess they just dont, not to me at least.

I hope you slept well x

The Rambling Pages said...

That accident was awful, so glad you or anyone you know were not involved. My MIL is in Devon at the moment and we knew she was travelling back to Birmingham around that time, thankfully they had done it during the day.

People surprise you, or if you think hard, do they? I know I have grown up being told to treat people as we want to be treated but sometimes it is worth just accepting not everyone is as caring as you.As my dad often said to me as a teenager (out of earshot of my mum) 'don't let the bastards grind you down'. I still have the bit of paper he stuck in a small siutcase of mine which he had written that on in luminous pink pen which I found on returning to Uni and I often still look at it to ground me. Hope you are OK x

Sarah Mac said...

Your Dad was right RP, maybe I should write it down as a reminder too.

Glad you MIL is ok - so many people must have been so worried. I know a friend of mine was frantically trying to contact her Dad who had his phone switched off!

Am I surprised by the reaction of this particular person? Yes and no really.

When I hadn't heard from them I'd assumed that somehow they couldn't know about it so I contacted them.

The response I got was shocking but maybe not a complete surprise after all and I need to remember that it was only one person out of many.

Life has been a bit of a rollercoaster over the last months but it can't last forever can it :)

I WILL be ok, thank you x