Tuesday, 24 January 2012

When Fuckit Just Won't Cut It

A little update on my fuckit day ... ( I could have included this in the previous post but I wanted to give the impression that I AM capable of serenity and order ... :)

Well, the day itself went pretty much to plan in that I mostly ignored anything and everything that had the potential to spoil it on the basis that probably no one would die if I left things until tomorrow.


There are SOME things you really can't ignore or put off.

Walking the dog being one of them no matter what the weather.

I love my dog but, to be honest, it wasn't my idea to get one.  Just one of those things left over from the days of ex lax.

Having said that, I wouldn't be without him and if going out in the peeing rain from time to time is the price of having him then it's one I'm willing to pay.

For the most part Gus is the most well behaved dog you could wish to meet (if only my children were part Border Collie ..... ;).

The one thing he does do every now and then (with a VERY guilty look on his face) is scavenge!

Never in the house, you could leave a whole roast chicken in front of his face and he wouldn't touch it unless you told him he could, but whilst out walking sometimes he sees things he just can't resist.

I rarely have him on a lead and he really doesn't need one.

Now I HAD thought that seeing him eat a pile of puke, ONLY ONCE I hasten to add (and he was on steroids at the time due to that damned cat Bear of little brain bringing in fleas which Gus is allergic to) was the worst thing he could do.

But I was wrong :(

This evening he woofed down a partly eaten kebab that some nice person had discarded in the street.

At first all seemed well.

Then later, there was a knock at the door.

Gus is very vocal when someone comes to the door, it amazes me that they stick around at all, he can sound quite ferocious!

It was about 8:30 and dark and I wasn't expecting anyone so it's quite reassuring having a dog around (not that I think he would be any bloody help at all if it turned out to be an axe wielding maniac).

It wasn't, it was (without wishing to offend anyone) someone trying to sell me eternal peace and forgiveness from my sins.

Gus did his usual run to the door barking like a hound of the Baskervilles.  The guy took a step back and said jokingly (but looking scared), 'he's not a killer is he?'  and Gus promptly puked up half digested kebab all over his feet!

I really think that guy might need to take a leaf out of his own book regarding forgiveness ....

I guess it did kind of fit in with my fuckit day, after all,  it did make me smile :)

This evening has been a bit frantic.

Remember M from Badoo?

Well, I got another message from him!

Again, really nice.  Saying that he understood my position but felt he might possibly be missing the opportunity to get to know someone very special if he didn't at least take a chance and ask me if I might not reconsider.

See what happens when you make me do the right thing K?? :)

Anyway, I did reply and half way through Gus puked again!

Thinking about it, anyone else would possibly have just said, just putting the kettle on or seeing to the children or .... well, I don't know ANYTHING really other than:

'Back in a minute, the bloody dog's just puked on the effing carpet!'  Which was actually what I was THINKING but possibly wasn't what I should have typed  ....  Did I mention I tend to make an impression ....

Then, when I'd cleaned that up I got a call from MR O who had crashed his car today and was in a pretty bad way having injured his back.

So, I was keeping an eye on the dog who kept dry heaving (which always makes me want to as well!),  talking to Mr O on the phone (who was high as a kite on drugs - the prescription type!) AND trying to recover the situation with M at the same time.

It was never going to end well was it?

I was trying to make soothing, sympathetic noises Mr O (who is sooo lovely and this is such a shitty thing to have happened to him - we had discussed getting married a couple of weeks ago with me wearing purple DM's and him in a matching mankini but that's another story), shouting at the dog to FFS puke in the kitchen on the tiled floor if he really HAD to puke again NOT on the bloody carpet AND trying to make scintillating conversation with M at the same time.

I have to say it all got a little mixed up ...

Luckily Mr O was so off his face I don't think he really noticed but M .....

What can I say ...  he possibly thinks I'm certifiable.



Anonymous said...

Sounds like a wonderful day....Mine has been wet and quiet. s and I got out for a nice long mostly uphill walk which was good and now we are both sitting on the sofa enjoying some piece and quiet, well at least I was until S decided to start blaspheming at his iPad because he is not doing well at the game he is playing - he has quite literally just said, and I quote "fuck fuck fuck, you fucking bastards, piss fuck wank fuck, fucking bastards, its not raining fucking blocks its raining fucking bastards"

Quite apt for you fuck it day I thought....

Lou :-)

Sarah said...

Pretty apt Lou :) You've got to laugh when they get so sucked in haven't you (that's why I avoid all games like the plauge!)

Well, I'm knackered. The dog stopped puking and Miss Mac started so I haven't had much sleep.

On the plus side - I re-read my messages to M this morning and other than 'that' message I didn't say anything too drastic and I think I made it clear that (nice as he seems) I relly did mean what I said the other day, I'm really not up for it right now.

Catherine said...

You are far too kind about Gus yawping on the religious dude. I'm so against people trying to sell me their religion I would have said, "My dog just summed up what I think about you so probably best to leave off now."

Sarah said...

haha, I SO should have Catherine!