Saturday, 2 April 2011

Boys Toys

I've roughly calculated that approximately 3 years of my marriage was spent perusing the power tool shelves of B & Q and the like ( a proportion of the rest was spent in PC World, Currys and Comet, but that's ANOTHER story).

At the time of course I didn't mind because, guess what, IT WAS ALL FOR MY BENEFIT :-) I wanted shelves and 'things' didn't I? I understood, (really I did) that these things were not possible without the latest cordless, 18v, Lithium-ion, 200 screws remover per charge drill (WITH A BUILT IN TORCH!!!!).

The thing is you see, I've since discovered something, it's all a bit of a scam really isn't it? The only reason you men really need these things is so that when your mates 'talk' about doing a little DIY you can say 'oh yeah, did I tell you I've got the latest blah, blah, blah' …. ? It's a form of penis envy .

Anyway, once Pickfords had packed up all the shiny, barely used, neatly boxed tools and driven off into the sunset leaving me with my almost empty, soon to be beach hut shed (by the way, it may have been painted with a water based emulsion but guess what doubters, it survived the winter and STILL looks great!) I wondered for a brief moment how I would ever manage without them.

Then I remembered GRANDAD! My Grandad didn't own a power tool (and yet my Grandmother still had shelves???). Grandad reckoned there wasn't much you couldn't sort with a roll of bailer twine and a bit of determination and I am most certainly my Grandads girl. I remember fondly my very first bike, we didn't have a lot of money so Grandad got it second hand and painted it for me, Christmas morning it was there in all it's glory, my (bright orange gloss) painted bike, a thing of real beauty in my eyes. I don't know if my Grandmother was as chuffed with him painting the kitchen walls in the left over paint (I kid you not!) but it was at about that time she decided to stop hosting the WI sewing circle at her house.

Anyway, while I still have a ball of bailer twine taking pride of place in my shed it has now been joined by glitter glue, tissue paper and pipe cleaners of various colours. I have a hammer, I have nails, I have an old fashioned (hand held) screwdriver, I can bodge just about anything you like WITHOUT spending sixty seven pound and ninety nine pence on something that I don't understand, doesn't do what it says on the box and frankly, scares the crap out of me anyway. Despite this knowledge, I still have a certain fondness for men so,don't worry, you're secrets are safe with me :-)

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