Friday, 15 April 2011

"I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food"

How right you are Mark

A quote by Erma Bombeck, a woman after my own heart.

I am a lover of words and of quotes. I'm also a lover of food. Anything that combines the two is a real winner for me.

Recently a friend said to me 'people don't eat enough fudge', how profound and insightful is that??? I knew straight away that when Id worked out how (and bear with me, I'm learning) I would use it as the title of a blog.

As I've mentioned before, this blog started as a diary on a dating website (read my 'page', I worked out how to make it, you work out how to find the damn thing!). I enjoyed it so much and had some positive feedback so, when my time was up on the site I knew it was time to start the blog.. Some of the things you read here will be entries from the diary. The following was a light-hearted (yet serious) attempt to help and educated men, well, the men of my experience anyway, possibly no use whatsoever to your average (normal) person!:

"I was reading through a few of the diaries on here. I really wish Id explored this facility months ago! It's fascinating. Some are so intelligently written, some have me in stitches and some are so full of charm they give me a warm ready brek glow.

Dating it seems is a serious business and as you may have gathered, I don't do serious too well, it's not that I cant you understand, I just prefer not to. Which, given my dating history is just as well!!

I've had a couple of long term relationships and in between some very bizarre dates. So, a few words of advice.

Never on a first date (or possibly EVER) wear a jumper you have knitted yourself (especially if it has a row of little figures on skis along the top or bottom).

Don't drink pineapple juice and coke in the same glass, it's just wrong.

Never wear nylon if you have a high level of personal static, a date that crackles and glows in the dark may be entertaining for others but not so the one you are trying to impress.  And, if there happens to be some kind of party going on at the next table, it could well be a deal breaker!

yes ........ he's with me :-(

Please don't be tempted as a romantic gesture to either bring with you or buy roses (or any other flowers) from one of those ladies that sometimes wander around restaurants selling them. There is nowhere to put them so they invariably end up on the floor where you (ok I) tread on them on the way to the loo. Believe me, the knowledge that I may have to do battle with a pair of control pants in a small cubicle means I'm suffering enough stress already!

what do you want me to do?  EAT the damn things?

There are plenty of do's and dont's in the dating game but if you take on board the above tips it would certainly give you a fighting chance of getting to date number two."


Glowless @ Where's My Glow said...

Cubicles just aren't big enough to do the control pants dance are they? Bastards.

Sarah Mac said...

Ha ha, indeed NOT!!! I became so obsessed by them for a while I think they have featured in at least 3 posts but they will never be a feature of my knicker drawer!